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And just like that I lost my head.

))<>(( forever

11/29/08 05:52 pm - my mother was a chinese trapeze artist

I start being alone with my girls on Monday. I am sooo going to get attacked by the 18 year old. I'm terrified to be alone with her. I also have to drive her somewhere on Friday, because apparently her mom can't/won't be in the car with her due to constant attacks, and well, I'm also very terrified of this. I've only seen her once not get upset in the car. Usually theres a tantrum that consists of lots of hitting, grabbing, kicking, and pulling of hair. i am going. to. die. and probably end up crying and possibly loosing the girl if she opens the car door and goes running. i do not want her in my car. i do not want her to attack me. i do not want to deal with this, i do not get paid enough. ugh.

I ended up going to target yesterday and purchased lots of dvd's for super cheap. I got seasons 1 and 2 of weeds for 8.98 each. that was exciting.
I also went to meghans for thanksgiving, cuz well, i hate going home home. plus i had 5 days off this week and figured i would visit. it was fun, i drank way too much and felt like crap for most of the next day.  i'm going back next week for birthday fun times and will end up doing the exact same thing again.

I'm also all sorts of emotions.

I have to go see if i work tomorrow at Michaels. i bet i do.

11/20/08 12:54 am - Life.

I've been filling out teaching applications for the past hour or so, and apparently I cannot save the documents on the msu computers. even tho i could do this the other day. i also cannot delete any of the old files i have under my username. i think this is kinda weird since i can log onto the computers with my old school info. hmmm. i just really don't want to have to fill out this application again, for a third time.

my birthday was monday. i did nothing exciting. i worked. and got free subway. I did, however have superfuntimes, on saturday. lots of people came up and went out with me for birthday[s]. it was a lot of fun and i'm glad that everyone i really wanted to come, for the most part, made it.

i had a date of some sorts tuesday. that went well, we'll see tho. i'm not really expecting much to come of it cuz he was cute, funny, interesting, etc, and I dont have the best self image as of right now. ...i'm still kind of a debbie downer. wah wah. tis life.

ok, i'm super hot and not accomplishing anything anymore. i suppose it's time to go.
not having the internet sucks. not being able to save my application sucks even more. but i'm going to get a slurpee and that, my dear friends, does not suck.

10/30/08 07:21 pm - I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous

So, I got accepted to teach in South Korea and China. I'm choosing South Korea.

I dont know a lot of the exacts right now, cuz i just found out 3 days ago, but I'm planning on leaving sometime this coming spring. I will be there for a whole year. I'm super excited! But at the same time kinda really nervous. I have to go apply for a passport tomorrow, cuz well, I don't have one. Then I will get to start filling out visa papers and whatnot.
I don't know where I'll be in S.Korea. They haven't placed me yet and won't be able to until they have most of my paperwork, which includes my passport. So I guess it depends on how long the U.S. government takes.

Also, also, I started my new job today. I had to sit and learn about restraints and intervention techniques. I feel bad cuz I didn't tell them I only plan on being there for 6 months....and I don't plan on telling them until its almost time for me to leave. Basically because I need to have a job up until I move.

I'm at Bubble Island right now cuz I dont have internet at my apartment, and I'm sitting very awkwardly close to this couple. It was one of the only spots open when I got here. And I wanted to sit in the squishy chairs instead of the hard ones. So I choose the location slightly closer to them. And I'm pretty sure they're talking about me to each other. I do not know tho, cuz I do not speak spanish. But they keep looking at me. ....It is crazy busy here. Who would have thought on a Thursday night. Not me.
Bubble Island really likes N*sync. It's been playing the whole time i've been here. thank got for headphones.

Annnnd I've just spotted my first joker of the Halloween season. Let the tallying begin for that costume. I'm excited for this weekend! 

10/24/08 03:19 pm - He poos clouds.

I got a job!!!
omg! I'm soo excited. I do not have to worry about how I will not have a job in 2 weeks. AND its in a field that I'm interested in. I'm going to be doing  interventions with mentally disabled youths of the Lansing area. I actually get to do  a lot of the same things I did when I had my kid for the MSU adolescent diversion program, the only difference is that the youths have some kind of mental/learning disability. My clients have autism. I have clients!!! 
Ok, that is all. I'm excited that I have a real job. and that i had qualifications to get the real job. yayayayyayayay! 

i'm outta here, cuz well, I really really don't care about this job now.

10/21/08 12:53 pm - Bam!

You know you suck when every other sentence that comes out of your mouth ends with 'Bam' and an arm jester. Also, Wallstreet is not a first date movie. It should be a never ever movie, but definetly not a first date movie. for those of you unfamiliar with this cinematic masterpiece, let me enlighten you. Charlie Sheen, Michael Douglas, and Martin Sheen discussing stocks and bonds...for two and a half hours! I want those hours back please. omg toolbag. why do they swarm to me? and why do they seem normal at first. i would have never ever ever ever agreeed if i knew how toolbagy he was. there is no other word to use here except toolbag.
i found myself wanting all of my friends there so we could mock him endlessly. [not that we cant just by my experience alone, but it would be so much more hilarious if everyone was there with me] mean, no, its not mean when you are such a toolbag. omg. 

other than the horrible horribleness I experienced above, nothing really new is happening.
I have interviews tomorrow and thursday for Asia. We'll see how that goes.

10/16/08 11:49 am - !!

I'm setting up interview times so I can teach in Asia!!!!!! omg! how excited am i?!!!!?

i'm trying not to get too excited right now, cuz if i don't get it i don't want to be superly super disappointed. but omg! i hope i do.

thats about it.

10/8/08 12:44 pm - she will wake up wealthy.

Kingsley will not let me sleep in at all. I'm up every day by 7:30. I do not need to be up then. arg.

I get to listen to this for my job. I have to write down the lyrics so bossman can copyright them. oh, they're horrible.

i've gotten most of my appetite back. well, sorta. i can now eat and not feel horrible stomach pains. yay nutrition!

I'm going to see the decemberists in november. i'm super excited! [although i didnt really care for their new song, but i have only heard it once] hopefully justin and i will be out of this whole awkward phase cuz we're going together. [i know most people will tell me this is a bad idea, i dont wanna hear it]. it will be fine cuz it will be. i do not hate him nor dislike him and i really think that we'll be friends.

i think i'm going to go to horrocks. lastfm isnt working on the computer today for som reason anyhow, and its annoying me.
...anyone want to move to chicago with me? within the year? you know you wanna.

i'm going to make pumpkin sugar cookies tonight! and watch top model! this excites me way too much.

9/30/08 02:13 pm - some days they last longer than others

I haven't had a day off in over 2 weeks and i wont get one for I don't know how long. Needless to say, I'm tired.

I'm hoping this weekend goes much much better than last. I'm thinking it will. Maybe I'll go to the cider mill, or see movie[s] since there are actually movies that i want to see out right now. or i'll make arts n' crafts since i get a discount on them. :)

I'm learning that a relationship is not necessary to be happy, to function, nor should it be the ultimate goal I strive for with people. It's something that comes and goes tho. I suppose that happens after a long time with someone. Its mainly a matter of getting use to doing things differently. I feel like I'm in one of those quit smoking commercials, where the guy cracks the egg open on the stove and is in the shower dressed.

i plan on frequenting coffee shops, once i get the internet to work on my computer, and studying for the GRE. i now have materials to study from. i also need to find a new full-time job. I'm guessing I didn't get the social work job, meh, so it goes. i figured as much.

9/23/08 03:13 pm - I'm going to get drunk in Pontiac.

Let the diet of rolaids and beer start...again.
Justin broke up with me a couple days ago. For real reals. I'm still in a state of disbelief and confusion. I don't know what to make of it. i really really cared for him. [which is how i'm going to put it since it will just hurt to say the real thing] And I'm sad. He was a good one and now hes out of my life. which is something i still haven't come to terms with because when i do i just collapse to the floor with tears.
yes, i get to tell people, Justin broke up with me....again. which makes me feel stupid for thinking that we would be ok after having it outs before, even if it was a horrible mess of misunderstandings and situations. which also leaves people thinking and rolling their eyes, 'will this be any different than before, etc...' but, i assure you, it is. i'm just a big mess of insecurities, so yes, i am thinking about this as well.
although the method of breaking up was not respectful at all, i guess that's something that's becoming common for me. Cliches were flying left and right and a real real answer was never given.
break-ups are no fun. i hate that i will never see him again. or talk to him. i hate that my whole life is now torn apart. i hate that we weren't in the same place, ever. i'm sad, angry, mad, and depressed all at once. and it super sucks because he's not going through this. he's relieved and happy and everything in his life is fine. and i'm just sulking. and will continue to hurt for some time. and then not be able to trust someone for a long time if/when i meet someone new. and it super sucks because i cant see anyone being so accepting with all my baggage as he was.
I cant make this not sound sappy and depressing. I'm sorry, kinda.

I'm going to go get drunk in Pontiac tonight while watching amazing music. And I have a job interview tomorrow! for a real social work position! I hope my sadness doesn't get the best of me and that my hang over isn't unbearable. [since all I've eaten in the past 3 days is a rice cake, 2 saltines, and half of an english muffin.]

8/19/08 09:54 am - 20,000 underneath the sea.

I hate how i've become hungry first thing when i wake up. never, ever, have i been hungry when i wake up. its throwing me off. i'll get to work and even though i know its 9 am i feel like its noon. ugh.

i've been trying to be productive with my time. well, 'productive' in a selfish sorta way...i just dont want free time to sit around alone. SO, i'm now volunteering at a community center a couple times a week. i work, and I'm also in the process of looking for a part time job.

its welcome week in east lansing. ugh. large herds of people i will [more than likely] hate.

7/16/08 04:35 pm - Be a rag doll dear.

 i only have 25 minutes to go, then i can leave. 
today i have: filled 2 orders, took them to the post office [that concludes any and everything work related], took an hour and a half nap, watched The Way We Were on Netflix, played an unmentionable number of online games, ate a sandwich, and frequented facebook way too many times.  but i am getting paid to sit here...just in case the phone rings. ha. 
but seriously, i am soo bored. not to mention i have to use internet explorer and i'm a mozilla kid through and through. 

yesterday kingsley made the whole in the screen door large enough for him to fit through and when i went to check on him while i was getting ready he was chillin on the balcony. i freaked out thinking he would hop on off and die. but he just sat there munchin on a dead leaf. he looked at me like 'wha?' it was actually quite cute, but still scary. so, the glass slider has to be closed for him to be out. oh silly bunny. 

i also got to see Step-brothers for free thanks to Melissa. It was pretty funny. about half way in it seemed like they were trying a little too hard, but that usually happens in those types of movies. but overall better than i expected it to be. but everyone else i was with liked it so i guess that makes it a fairly decent movie. meh.

ok, i'm leaving. i cant take it. 

6/17/08 04:05 am - shaking hands with a hurricane

things as of recently;

* meghan i spent the week[end], 5 dayz, in Tennessee [and the other states between michigan and there] baking away in the sun. i also listened to  good music, didnt take a shower for 3 of those dayz and hung out with thousands of people. it was fun. !!! and rilo kiley were awesome. [as well as others, but my brain isnt working right now]  kanye west was not. not at all. it was late...actually i should say early. and well, the glow in the dark tour began as the sun was coming up. i would never see him again, nor would i recommend anyone else seeing him. im slightly bitter about the whole thing. ....supposedly the olsen twins were at bonnaroo. geez.

* i have actually accomplished getting burnt. this has only happened 2 other times in my life. once on my face and once on my scalp. and man. it sucks. BUT, it doesnt hurt nearly as bad as it has been. i think a day out of the sun helped. my scalp is starting to peel tho, which i hate, cuz it looks like i have horrible hygiene and dont know how to take care of my dandruff problem.

* i have been to Sonic! it was exciting at first, then the excitement died....we went twice, once on the way there and once on the way back. the way back time was less than exciting. slightly below average. it could have had something to do with getting our order wrong and not bringing us the correct items. but i do love me some limeade!

* my computer sucks.  i'm typing but i dont see anything til seconds later. this sucks.

* justin did not kill kingsy. i'm very proud of him for that.

* my class is almost over. and it just went from 4 days a week to 2! yay!

i'm going to go pee in a toilet, not a hole in a plastic container. and im going to wash my hands! with soap! and then dry them on a clean towel! oh man, luxuries.


6/3/08 05:53 am - r-o-l-a-i-d-s spells relief.

i'm on a diet of rolaids and beer. i like to eat healthy.
...and just so you know, the wild cherry soft chews taste like chewed up chalk flavored gum. ick.

6/1/08 05:04 am - fuck.

i bought dresses today. because i cannot find someone to date who wont break up with me for reasons that really are not reasons.
i'm one step closer to being a cat lady.
life sucks. and i cannot stop crying.  and vomiting. and feeling ill.
i have sad.

5/18/08 10:00 pm

i am sick. i have a cold. i am sick with a cold in the middle of may. ugh.

i also dropped kingsley on top of his cage today. he went head first. so besides the fact he was only out of his cage for maaaybe an hour today, i dropped him on it. he hates me. and probably his cage. for being dropped on it and being stuck in it for so long.
i hoping i will feel better tomorrow. then he can be out.

the apartment is a mess. there is stuff everywhere. it is not presentable whatsoever.  and meghan is moving in tomorrow. it will not be clean for her. i couldnt do anything for the past 2 days besides sit and sleep [when i wasn;t at work]. i hope i will have enough energy tomorrow to at least pick up the place so she can move her stuff in.

ok, i just took nightquil. i haven't been this excited to go to bed in a long time. night!!!

5/14/08 01:16 am - Et le musique dance?

classes started monday. my last ever. yay! i thought i needed to take 2 more classes this summer, but i dont! yay again!
i'm exhausted tho. i've worked the past 5 days in a row and i work tomorrow as well. plus i have class monday-thursday. so i've been going to class then to work. im having bunny withdrawals, among friend and boyfriend withdrawals. i've had my fair share of stupid customers tho. ugh. i need to start looking for a real job so i can quit. i will not miss dealing with the trailer trash scum that lansing has.

i will have the second half of the summer off. which i am so so so excited for. i'm going to just take it easy and apply for jobs...and going to the beach.

5/7/08 11:57 pm - bend it like beckham.

i've been doing nothing with this week of nothing to do. summer classes start on monday. i'm kinda glad, just so i'll have something to do. i'm sure that will pass very very quickly once they start tho. i have watched a lot of movies/shows. omg.

graduation was saturday. it was early and i had to deal with my family. other than that it was good. i got a schnazy pen from the psychology department. i gave them thousands and thousands of dollars through tuition and i get a pen. whoo. but i drank a lot and got little sleep. it was fun. there are pictures on facebook if you want to see them.

thats basically all i've been up to. i go out more than i should. i really dont have the funds for it, nor has my body been liking me for it lately. but oh well. i figure its my last summer as a 'non adult' without 'real' responsibilities so i'm going to make the most of it.
i still dont see my boyfriend enough. and everyone else left here has a 9-5 job, well, more or less. so i fill my time with lots of kingsley and movies. im sure i have annoyed people asking them to go out with me all the time. i'll be busy soon enough, that justifies it for me.

i need to go see a movie. any movie. someone go with me.

oh oh oh!! and justin got me plague masks AND cheese. he's the keenest. man, do i lovvvee cheese.

4/4/08 02:17 am - I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone

i have 29 days til graduation.
i have purchased my cap and gown.
i have never been so ready to do something than this. seriously.
school is boring. east lansing is boring. boring boring boring. i have exhausted this college town.....good thing i'm going to be here for another year. but i will have a real people job, cool people [person] to live with, a boyfriend near by and time to apply to grad schools.
i'm just ready to do something different.
oh yay!

i ate some not so good food cuz i was hungry-now! and now im regretting it big time. i feel like death. ugh. time for bed.

Special event? No worries.

3/17/08 12:43 am - its the final countdown.

my life is all sorts of boring. school and work. its kinda stagnant. i need a change of pace. graduation and this summer couldnt come faster.
with that being said, this weekend was fun. which was needed since my life really is all sorts of boring.
meghan and i drank for lots o' hours. and i passed out on the floor. real classy. i know. it took over a hour and a half for us to get pokey stix last night. i then proceeded to fall asleep with pokey stix in my hand. oh dear. this morning...more like afternoon meghan, justin and i went to ihop. i got who cakes. yes, i was excited for candy drizzled pancakes cuz i am a little kid at heart. they were yummy. :)

there was a guy at the bar thursday who was trying to get kicked out for playing the final countdown too many times on the jukebox. it didnt work, but the bouncer did unplug the jukebox. it was hilarious. as a result i've had the final countdown stuck in my head for 2 days.

the cars in gilmore girls dont have windows in them. i always think this is funny. its really noticeable.

i will be up for hours because justin and i took a nap earlier. that was a bad idea. i knew it would be a bad idea, but it seemed so right at the time. oh silly naps.

2/22/08 01:56 am - I want to skip like a stone

-i'm so ready for warmer weather. this cold is giving me sad. i just dont want to do anything. plus warmer weather means music and camping with meghan! we plan on exploring michigans beaches and lakes. yay warm!

-school is school, i have senioritis. i dont want to do anything. and im pretty much doing the least i can possibly do.

-i dont get to see my boyfriend enough because he works 10 hours a day almost everyday. that makes me sad. we had an anniversary of some sort last saturday. we got to be lazy and hang out together for multiple hours all in one day. it was nice.

-kingsley recently learned that he can hop up on the couch. its cute and he does this often. i love his fuzzy little face.

-i bumming around all weekend. lora went home. and i work only one day, so that means more time to do the least i can possibly do. yes!

mmmk. thats about all. i'm boring. and not tired at all. thats what i get for laying around til all hours of the day.

2/10/08 03:19 am - justin has killed kingsley at least 5 times already.

i've had some crazy dreams as of late:

i've had at least 3 dreams a night [for the past 3 nights] of justin killing kingsley.  many of them usually include a large stick to do the deed. one dream, kings had a demon spirit bunny take over his body named susan. susan wanted to kill us all. that one actually woke me up because of the creepy factor.

then last night i had a dream with chris brown in it. he was in my group for a class. he always wore a red hoodie, everyday. [which is what he's wearing in the poster we have at work] no one really noticed it was chris brown. then one day before lecture, he got up in front of the class and played a youtube clip from his concert. he then proceeded to sing the same thing to the class. he did a little dance move, then ran out of the room.

maybe the weird dreams are a result of late night eating.

2/3/08 04:06 am - ....................................

i hate most people. but some are ok...only some. those some are my friends.
the others, go jump off a cliff.

im going to go eat my hot pocket.
i'm intoxicated.
g'night all.
sorry for the post.

2/2/08 02:06 am - pancakes!!!!!!!1

so, the 12th is free pancake day at ihop. i have classes pretty much all day, but who wants to go get free pancakes? i am totally willing to squeeze in some free pancakes. mmmm.

that is all.

1/20/08 07:28 pm - bling

i will be getting 10,000 dollas in about a month or so.
im so so so glad and relieved. i will be able to pay off bills. possibly go somewhere awesome for spring break. and still have enough to put into savings. this also means that i will not, for any reason, have to move back home after i graduate. omg awesome.

food now.

1/7/08 01:42 am - I would have named you Kingsley

Thursday Justin and I picked up my bunny!!! he is fluffy and adorable.  when he hops around it looks like a big fluff ball. i am absolutely in love with him...even tho he cannot figure out the concept of the litter box.
best. present. ever.
ever ever.
seriously. it will be hard to top this one.
i need to take pictures, i think i will go buy batteries tomorrow so i can show all of you the adorable cuteness that is Kingsley.
and yes, his name is Kingsley. and right now he is cleaning his little, furry, bunny face. and its soo cute.

12/28/07 03:08 am - Oh, what a feeling! When were dancing on the ceiling....

so yeah, its a few days early, but deal.
here are some thoughts about my 2k7. and yes it's long and wordy. hey, it was an eventful year.

A look back at twenty o' sevenCollapse )

and really, i've been out of high school for 5 years. AND i'm getting phone calls for my 5 year high school reunion. whoa. old am i. and um, no thank you. i do not like muskegon [really], i hardly liked anyone from my class. spending a night with people i did not like in a town i do not care for = a big fat NO. if i wanna see mikey and erin grimm, then i will call them and set something up, even tho schedules never work out.

i also got to bunnysit melissas bunny today. he was cute and adorable and cute. i played with him a lot. and now i want a bunny more than ever ever! oh man.

ok, this is long enough.

come on twenty o' eight. whoo.

12/27/07 02:48 am - the sun is out it melts the snow that fell yesterday

and i love it.

christmas at home, was well. at home. BUT i did receive Gilmore Girls the complete series on dvd. who would have thought that my mom would have actually listened to me when i mentioned that i wanted it. and who would have thought that she would have put out that much money on me for christmas....let alone one gift. not me. and seriously, i was like that boy who go the nintendo 64. no lie. i even jumped up and down screaming. the downfall tho, justin got me the same thing. and since we still have not done 'chirstmas' i didnt get all excited crazy with him. i'm kinda sad about that. i would have preferred to get all excited crazy about this gift with him than at home, because, well, thats just how i feel. he knew i really wanted it. i had a countdown for when it came out. i made him look at it online many, MANY times. honestly, i didnt think i was going to get it from anyone and would have to purchase it by myself. nonetheless, extremely thoughtful and cute and awww.

now its nonstop gilmore girls marathon at the andrea household.
i have tomorrow off, so even more!!!

its good to be back in e.l.

12/14/07 03:18 pm

i have run out of tape. this is serious because i now cannot finish wrapping my chirstmas gifts til i buy more. it was more serious yesterday while i was trying to procrastinate studying for my final.

i have to work today, tomorrow, the next day, i assume the day following that. i worked over 35 hours last week. my check is gonna be aweeeesomee!! im excited to go into work today to pick it up. i am NOT excited for all the cranky mean spirited holiday shoppers who feel the need to not treat employees as real people but as their personal assistants.

and i've really sucked at driving and parking lately. i've received 2 tickets this week. one was justins fault. but still. 2 in one week is 2 to many.

ok work. visit me, i'm all alone for all of break.

12/7/07 02:04 am - adventures on grand river.

so today while walking down grand river i had two men, with awesome beards, wish me a happy hanukkah. then while waiting to cross the street a cata bus stopped, at a green light, and opened its doors. then the driver, who was dressed up as santa, and everyone in the front yelled merry chirstmas. then they all drove off.
I guess it was the day to be on grand river. it made me smile.

also, if anyone wants to get me anything for chirstmas i really would not mind receiving this or this. there was also a really awesome squirrel lamp at the store, which i cannot find online.

ok, sleepies time.

11/22/07 03:27 am - bunny

i like bunnies
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