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Jun. 7th, 2010

I havent been as active online as I have been in the past few months. I'm not creating anything new and I'm fine with being on break. Right now I'm dead broke between blessings and just kinda floating around. My mind is everywhere but getting my business back on track right now. The last 2 weekends have been spent entertaining guests and its been a nice distraction but when I get online and start reading blogs I feel lazy and uninspired. I dunno what to do. This taking a break biz is harder than I expected. Right now my desk is in the middle of a pile of fabric and I dont feel like sewing anything.

I'm at work and I just feel like I'm not doing much of anything. I got thru these phases of doing too much and then not doing enough. I'm sick of it. The Libra in me CRAVES balance. I'm finding that things in my life are way too lopsided. I threw away close to $100 worth of food last week (shrimps and red snappers) because I left them in the fridge too long while I was preparing for the bbq. My time management is fucked. I need to learn how to do things on schedule, stay on task and stay focused. Its very hard for me to do these things and I think at 24 I should be able to manage my time better. If I were able to get my life running like a fine tuned machine I would be so good. Everything would be so much better. I feel like there is so much to do and I'm just puttering along. I keep finding new things that I want to do without finishing the old things. I'm losing enthusiam for my projects and wasting money on things because I'm so implusive. I'm losing focus. I dont know what to do to get it back.

If I make another list I'm gonna go crazy. The more lists I make the more shyt I realize I need to do and then paralysis sets. Nothing can get done when I'm this way. Last year I was trying to get more disciplined but it didnt really work. This year I started off okay but everything spiraled out of control and now I feel so bad that I let myself lose momentum like this.

had a spark when you started but now you're just garbage

*screams*

I need an intern!!

seriously...I can barely keep up with the administrative tasks of the business AND keep my sewing on schedule. It's wearing me out. I'm gonna figure out what can be delegated and done from someone elses computer a few hours a week and what I might need someone to come in and help me with 1 day a week. Because I'm drowing in administrative duties and I know if I had help I could get so much more done.

Elyse and I did a photoshoot with gasparnoe on saturday and it was awesome. Here's the link to the blog we were featured on and here are some of the pics me and E took of each other after the shoot.

We are the music makers, We are the dreamers of dreamsCollapse )

Understanding & Gratitude

A few years ago I read a book and the author talked about making a conscious effort to change your habits. Her theory is that once you commit to making a change there is a pendulum effect where you waiver from one end of the spectrum to the next until it slows down and you reach your desired state of change. I've noticed this in my last few posts here and on my personal journal as well. I was getting upset with myself thinking 'what are you? some type of schizo?' until I realized it was the natural path of embracing change. No one changes overnight and your perception will swing from one extreme to the next until you finally settle and come to terms with the changes you are making in your life.

I'm in the middle of a metamorphosis. Sometimes shyt gets ugly. Sometimes its so sweet I think Ima throw myself into diabetic shock from all the sappiness I'm feeling but I dont fight it anymore. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling. I try to remain aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it. I'm the subject of my own spiritual experiment and I love seeing the growth I am making. My ego is really tied up with wanting to be right all the time but I dont need to be 'right' if I want to grow.

I cry. A lot. I'll get so overwhelmed with gratitude and I'll start thinking about all the ways I am truly blessed and the tears just start running. I think about my family, my friends and people who I've grown closer to during the year and I am thankful for them all. I thank God for putting such patient people in my life who genuinely care about my growth and I'm like damn, I'm so blessed. More tears. Last night I felt like God was in my ear telling me to prepare myself for the road ahead of me. I cant see the road but I feel it in my heart. My ability to create is my gift. It is not for me to profit and line my pockets with money but it is to be used as a vehicle for me to help as many people as I can. This time right now is for me to build my strength for all the work and responsibility that will be added to my load as the years go on. While chasing my passion I've run smack dab into my purpose and that makes me feel so greatful, so blessed, so motivated.

Instead of spending money on gifts I'll be sending thank you letters to all those who have had a hand in making me better. Theres a lot of people to thank. I sent one a few weeks ago to someone and I was crying while writing it because I am just that damn thankful that they would take time to help me evolve into something greater than I am today. Like damn. They needed to know how much their support truly means and I want my support system to know that I value every word of advice, every hug, every dollar, every vibration of love that they send my way. I'm not doing this alone. My whole team has a hand in who I am and they need to know that.

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. ~Leo Buscaglia

Life is good.

-After a lot of prayer, meditation, heart to heart talks, emails with my circle, I'm back on track.
-Very busy.
-Please check out my blog. Decadentindustries.net
-I just revamped it.
-Working on the online store now.
-I have a sale in Fort Greene on sunday 11/22/09 at the (Fulton Flea Market.
-A lot of custom orders.
-Planning a trip to DC next month.
-Hoping to crash on someones couch cause I dont wanna spring for a hotel.
-Yes, I'm cheap.
-Bout to go home and get back in the lab. Just wanted to check in. I love yall and thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

Over and out!

Atlantic Antic

[Crossposted from my blog - decadentindustries.blogspot.com]

Today went GREAT! My family was there to support me all day and even a few of my friends and coworkers stopped. I met so many cool folks and really felt the love and appreciation on all the pieces I worked so hard to make. The older ladies were KILLIN it style-wise. I saw so many vintage sunglasses and accessories. I mean some really fly stuff. In fact my very 1st customer was an older woman who purchased a wristlet pouch as her new cosmetic bag. Another woman fell in love with a shoulder bag. A third, with a pair of the square earrings. I noticed the younger crowd really liked the ruffle skirts. It was just an overwhelming sense of satisfaction today. If anything I feel more motivated than ever to keep working and booking events.

I know my etsy shop is empty but I'm in the process of uploading the pictures and whatnot. Everything on etsy should be operational by tomorrow night. I'm exhausted.

Here's a few of the pics and a lil video from today that my mom took of me straightening my table.













me and my beautiful cousins, Josh and Roxy

SHOW YA LOVE!





Come and support this weekend if you can! I'd really appeciate it.

Working on my palm cards and then Im done with promotionals for today. I'm runnin off 3 hours of sleep and 2 cups of coffee. I'm HYPE!

And I updated the blog with pictures of some of the dresses - check it out Decadent Industries

Summer in NYC (Recession Busters!)

I'm dating this post till the end of September so we can keep track of all the free (or really affrodable) things goin on it NYC this summer. I wrote this on NP for _keena but I feel my list can use it as well. I know a few of us are already here in NYC; mochalocks, anonymious1, charmhearts, ontheqtrain, stylisticjess and laugh_life_away being a recent transplant. My goal is to do at least one event per week and to chill with every one of the ppl I listed at least once. I think thats pretty doable. adorelle I really hope I can see you this summer too, love.

Everyone please feel free to leave more suggestions in the comments and let me know if you wanna link up for any of the events. This is gonna be fun ^_^

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Habana Outpost! In the Fort Greene section of Brooklyn. They show free movies in the summer on Sunday nights. Every weekend they have an outdoor market with local vendors (I'm tryna get a few dates secured there for the summer) and a few rappers and neosoul artists have been known to pop in for a sammich or two (mos def, common, ?uestlove, etc).

Not Just Vintage is tiny but they have great clothes, accessories and theres a designer sample sale every month with sidewalk vendors and the like.

Harriets Alter Ego. More cute, handmade clothes, accessories. In the summer they throw some BANGIN BBQ'S.

Re/Dress NYC. A plus size second hand clothing store/boutique with new, gently used and vintage clothes, shoes and accessories at dirt cheap prices.

Wingate Highschool has a concert series every monday night starting in June or July on monday nights. They have some R&B acts (Ms. Badu was there last year, Ms. Hill the year before last), a gospel night and a carribbean/world music night which is usually at the end of the summer. very nice. The website isn't updated with the 2009 dates yet but it will be in a few weeks.

Summerstage in Central Park just posted their concerts for the summer. I'm tryna do the Ginuwine, Joe & Chico DeBarge show on Sunday July 26th (3pm-7pm) and the Jazmine Sullivan, Chrisette Michelle & Jon B show on Sunday August 9th (3pm-7pm). The thing with summerstage is you have to get there HELLA early. Like at least 11am to get a good seat at the 3PM show. Its worth it though. I saw John Legend there back in 2004 and he did the entire Get Lifted album. Good shyt.

Here's a link to free movie venues in the summer. Bring a blanket, a picnic and just chill out to some good films.

The Brooklyn Museum has something every first saturday where they show films and have a dance party. Its free and theres always a cool, mixed crowd there.

The African Burial Grounds in lower manhattan. Girl, you gotta see the memorial and stay for the info session. Wall Street was a popular port, sometimes the first port, of the New World for many of our ancestors. They found mass graves years ago when they were unearthing for a new project and since then they have preserved as much as they could find making some parts of the financial district sacred ground.

Theres also the African Market on 125th street (clothing, african cloth, accessories) as well as a good strip of African vendors (street and storefront) on Fulton street in Brooklyn.

Saturday mornings and afternoons on Coney Island boardwalk theres a house music venue thats mad cool. I went every weekend with my mom and step pops last summer. Its an older crowd but the music is funky and you get to chill on the boardwalk or the beach. I dont mess with Coney Island water ATALL and neither should you ;x

randomness

I finally got my blackberry Tour. Shes a mini me - black, intelligent, stylish and sexy as fuck :) I love that bitch. lol. All jokes aside she (why am I personifying my phone? smh) is really nice and I dont have any regrets about dropping the money I spent on her. In fact the first thing Ima do today is drop that mail in rebate in the mail so I can breathe easy.

Back in jan I did one of those 35 things lists on facebook. One of the things was that I have a secret aspiration to do stand up comedy. Its always been something in the back of my mind that I thought would be pretty far fetched but then I realized - this is NYC. People come here to have crazy dreams and live them out. A few are actually successful. I dont wanna be the next queen of comedy but I do enjoy making people laugh. In fact, me and roxy have at least one night a week where I go in her room and we talk (usually over a youtube video) and I make some realy crazy commentary. In fact, my stomach is hurting hard from us watching some old episode of blind date last night. I had the lady pegged as a pill poppin, strap on wearin dominatrix with a closet full of sexually deviant toys, a high pain tolerance and a bag of shrooms in her pocketbook. LOL The sad part is her date looked like the type who would talk a lot of obnoxious shyt in public but totally allow her to fuck him up the ass with a dildo. My dude was wearing a driving miss daisy scarf tied daintily around his neck and a fuckin cheetah hat. you cant trust a nigga in a cheetah hat, I'm just sayin. man o man we ROLLED. I was damn near crying by the time I left her room but it made me think of all the crazy shyt I used to do to make people laugh. Like whenever me and Bari get together how she lovingly tells me that Im 'fuckin stupid' (love ya too boo) or about the time me and Lauren were standing on 117th street at 10am in front of the Mc Donalds walk up window and how I had her and the people on line cracking up. Or the stupid parodies we used to make up in HS to the tunes of hip hop songs. Good times, good times. Im just a natural HAM I guess. Its a part of being very observant and saying shyt that people are saying but dont wanna say. Oh and ever since I found out slacker radio has comedy stations for the past year I've been listenin to some great comedians at work and just thinking 'damn, that could be me some day'. Comedy is a pretty male dominated field and Im all for being a feminist. *singing* Anything you can do, I can do better (remember that commercial?)

craigslist boy and I are still talking and the first night he came over he said that he had secret aspirations of being a stand up comic and I thought that was pretty cool. He was even thinking about taking classes and stuff for it. I already told him that I didnt want to date but I would love to take one of those classes with him cause hes pretty funny and technically it wouldnt be a date, right? Its a class, for enrichment purposes. Uhh...yeah, I;m fooling myself cause Im starting to really like this guy but I'm not playing myself. We talk on BBM or thru text a few times a week and the convo is sexy but playful. He did tell me he likes me hair. Said it was like doing it with a Black Panther. I told him 'uhh thanks? Power to the People'. LMAO

Yeah ima start writing my 'routines' down. You never know. Hell, even Joe Rogan (the Fear Factor guy) does stand up and I think he's fuckin hilarious.

Writer's Block: Don't You Forget about Me

RIP John Hughes. In honor of the master of the teen movie, what is your favorite teen flick?


Teen Witch! "I wanna be the most popular girrrrrl!"
I loved 10 Things I Hate About You, too. That and Mean Girls.

I sense a teen movie marathon tonight whilst cleaning my room.

I'm renovatingCollapse )

new posts on the blog

I'm making a concerted effort to update my blog more consistently. After finding an article online I've created an editorial calendar and will be aiming to post something a few times a week. I had fun making these entries so show me a little love :)

5 read-worthy online magazines and a few outfits of my day.

Check it out!