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Subject:New mission
Time:10:17 am
Current Mood:busybusy
For the last couple of weeks I've been with one of SeeD's benefactors in Trabia. We have a job.

The mission is to start sometime within the next month. I will need a team of three to accompany me along with two to stay behind as safeties. We're to take a couple of the SeeD applicants with us (I expect Almasy will be among their ranks), they are to either stay with the safeties or join us on the mission. I've yet to decide. Once I've figured out all the important details, I'll schedule a debriefing.

Everyone, be prepared to clear your schedules.


§ Leonhart
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Current Music:Stabbing Westward -Torn Apart
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Subject:Lost all over
Time:07:05 pm
Current Mood:pensivepensive
I honestly don't know why I try. Perhaps, in a way, I miss the way it was. . . How easy life was when I didn't have a reason to care, a reason to force myself to open up.

Musings which are far from friendlyCollapse )

Whatever. I'm just so sick of thinking I have an obligation to those who want nothing to do with me.


§ Leonhart
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Subject:Too tired to bother
Time:10:04 pm
Current Mood:apatheticapathetic
It's been awhile, I know, but my objective in keeping this journal has always been to record memories, not random thoughts. . .

It seems as though everything has become an obligation and when I get up in the morning, I no longer have a drive to climb out of bed with the knowledge that nothing of great relevance will be accomplished once my day has ended. I barely get out and even Lionheart feels foreign in my grasp. As of late, I've only the company of Shiva to smooth the edges of my frazzled mind.

This Garden cannot survive with only one commander, it will not work. I'm already falling apart and hanging on the threads of what should be sanity. I'm going to issue someone a position soon, once I get it cleared through Cid. Perhaps the new SeeDs of the upcoming exam might be the fresh change this place needs.

All I know is that with only mission statements and no real action, I'm slowly going crazy.


§ Leonhart
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Subject:I don't know if I'm supposed to be surprised. . .
Time:06:07 pm
Current Mood:distresseddistressed
I made the mistake of getting "online" this evening once the paperwork had been filed. Needless to say, Selphie and Zell had me embarking on a journey which envolved things I would rather not like to reflect on.

Indifference at its bestCollapse )

I have a headache. A migraine. I don't know. I'm tired and I'm going to bed now that I've filed away the reports and have given my update to Cid. I can't take anymore stress.


§ Leonhart
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Current Music:Trapt - Still Frame
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Subject:. . .
Time:03:27 pm
Current Mood:discontentdiscontent
I've had nothing but coffee and bagels for the past two days, besides the lunch Rinoa brought me. I'm really sick of being stuck in a position which offers no rewards; a position which I never even opted to take, but was rather forced upon me.

I just want to get out and relieve some tension in the training center, however, I still have three more mission reports to leaf through before I can even think of leaving my desk.


§ Leonhart
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Current Music:Due'le quartz - Rodeo
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Subject:Clarification
Time:07:41 pm
Current Mood:exhaustedexhausted
I've lost so many memories to Shiva, I've failed to see the importance of trying to recall any of them. Apparently the journals which have been set-up throughout the campus are a great way to retain a few of those moments which we've deemed precious. I suppose it won't hurt to give it a shot.



. . .Anyway. I've returned from my long absence away from Garden. I find that the trip and duration of my stay in Esthar put more of a strain on my conscience than anything else. While it was indeed liberating to get away from the responsibilities of a commander, I must say, I felt burdened by the notion of always having to be escourted, courtesy of Laguna. Regarding LagunaCollapse )

In any case, SeeD is to be briefed on our latest assignment sometime during the week.


. . .Funny how my mind allows my fingers to wander freely over the keyboard yet it places my tongue in bonds whenever I've something to which I wish to voice.


§ Leonhart
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[icon] § frozen glory §
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