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becky [userpic]

(to be continued...)

June 16th, 2006 (10:44 pm)
excited

current mood: excited
current song: the lyndsay diaries - the tops of trees are on fire

It seems like a good time to shake my etch-a-sketch clean, and start anew.

notbysight




-becky

becky [userpic]

10% kids.

June 10th, 2006 (01:24 am)
current mood: tired

Woo, what a doozey I had tonight.

Now you know, throughout your shift, bad things happen, they seem huge right then, then nearly as soon as the table leaves and a new one is sat, you are over the situation that has just passed almost as if it never happened... Unless it's particulary bad and is the talk of the night. Haha.

My first table of the night, parents and 3 children. The mother orders a steak..
"How would like that cooked, ma'am?"
"Um... well done, but not really. Like, medium, but with pink, but not bloody, but not burnt---(on and on and on)"
"Medium well?"
"Yeah."
I bring the steak.
"Would you like some A1 or 57?"
"Yeah. And some napkins. And ranch."
I lift the stack of napkins that I just placed on the table and set them back down. "There ya go."
"Oh thank you! But I still need the ranch." (I never left the table)
I ignore that, but ask again, "Would you like A1 or 57 or both?" "Oh.. uhhhh... 57."
hahahahah.

Next montrocity.
An old couple, a young couple, and 3 little girls.
I walk up, do my introduction, they ignore me.
The old people: "We're on seperate checks. Me *points to self* and him *points to husband*
Me: "Okay" (I say slowly) "Not a problem, I think I can handle that."
Old Fogies: "And we have a card."
Me: "A card?" (We don't take "cards")
Old Fogies: "Yeah, but we forgot it, but you can see that we're old, right?"
Me: "I'm sorry but we don't really do any senior citizen discounts."
Old Fogies: "You don't???? But they do in Pennsylvania!" .....(We are in North Carolina)
Me: "If you had an Apple Gold card..." (It's like a membership card, not a senior citizen card only for Applebee's in THIS region. If you are from up north, you wouldn't have it. Seriously.)
Old Fogies: "OH we do! That's what we have!"
Me: "Oh well I'm sorry, I'd just need to see it to put it in the computer" .. I lie. I lie a lot.

Finally the young couple intervenes, tells them not to worry about it, and they finally start to order.
Of course all of the kids want Shirley Temples. Kids drinks come free with the meal, but out of habit, I ring in the drinks because they go to the bar to be made. They are such a hassle. These girls were big so I didn't really think they'd order from the kids menu, and when they did I forgot to take off the drinks. Agh. Great.

The old lady orders a Bourbon St. Steak. It comes with mushrooms and onions. She says, "I don't want onion, I only want the mushrooms and green peppers." Now, a lot of people think the B St comes with green peppers. It doesn't. It just seems natural, so I never worry about it when people say "Don't put the green peppers on there" because I KNOW they won't anyway, because IT DOESNT COME ON IT.
Anyway, I *86 the onions, but I didn't worry about the green peppers, because I didn't know she wanted me to ADD THEM. She was speaking as if they already came on the steak. In order to do that I'd have to ring them up as a charge... Our kitchen is very funny on food costs, and never giving us ANYTHING unless we ring it in.
She also didn't want her garlic toast, and wanted a side of plain sour dough bread instead. I didn't charge her for that, since it was just a trade off for the garlic toast.

So it goes out, with only mushrooms, and I didn't run it and naturally, as it always goes, they forgot her bread. I go to fetch it, and bring it out to her. She then fusses that she doesn't have her green peppers. I apologize and say it doesn't come on it, etc etc, but I will get her some. I ask the kitchen for some. They tell me to ring it in, so I say Fine, and ring them in, they're only like 20 cents. The kitchen forgets to drop them. I'm yelling for them to just cook them, it's taking FOREVER, so I take them out near raw, in a huff.
Then she wants Another piece of sour dough. I have to ring it in to get it.

OK, now to one of the daughters. She ordered a Kid Pasta.
"But I don't want the marinara. Well, I don't want it ON IT. Could you like, put it on the side? You know, in a little dish? JUST NOT ON IT."
And for effect her parents repeat all of it. "Don't put the marianara on it. Put it on the side, in a dish."
Then the other daughter orders the Pasta as well, but they make sure to add, "WITH the sauce. Hers is without, hers is with, got it?"
*GRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr... .STRANGLE*

Later, the parents.
"Aren't we supposed to get toast with this? It does come with it, right?"
"Oh yes, I'll be right back with that." So I run to the kitchen, it's only 2 of them, but I throw 3 pieces on a plate.
"We're short one piece of bread." They get smart with me, saying the kids pasta needs bread, too, as if I didn't know. I'm getting angry.
Oh. Right. Both the kids wanted pieces. So me throwing on what I thought was an extra piece, really made it look like I forgot a piece for the other child. Great.
"But it's okay, because she just wants a plain piece of sour dough anyway."
So I go get it. Again. Frustrated.
Bear in mind, they are running me RAGGED. I am back and forth, back and forth, making shirley temples, water with no lemon, Diet Coke with no lemon? I mean, it doesn't COME with lemon you boob!

Finally, it's time for them to leave. I have a gut instinct feeling that this is going to be bad, simply from experience. I am scared to drop their checks, because I know she will be mad I had to charge her for green peppers and her extra toast. Agh.
So. I drop the checks. The parents see that I accidentally charged them for the kids drinks.
"Don't the kids drink come free with the meal?"
I didn't realize I had done this, so I was like "Oh yeah, they do, I'm sorry--"
Parents, Real Snarky: "Um, yeah, why don't you go get that taken off."

I am blinded with fury. I can feel the cold head rush to my frontal lobe. I get them taken off, bring them their receit.

The old man pays, and I bring them their change. The old woman is looking over the reciet. Oh lord.
Then the old couple: "How much were those beers??" So I look at the ticket, which is IN THEIR HANDS, and read the price to them. They mumble under the breath, I ask, "Is the price of the beer.. um.. okay?"
J, my manager, happens to be behind me, pre-bussing a table or something, and he hears the lady say, "Why did you charge me for the green peppers? I replaced them for the onions! WHY WHY WHY"
And I'm a little taken aback, even though I expected this, and I calmly say, "I'm sorry, the kitchen wouldn't serve them to me until I had rung them in---"
Old Fogies: "YOU PEOPLE ARE SO CHEAP!"
In my head, I'm thinking.... We're cheap? You're the ones that won't pay for what you ordered.... Hmmm...
"AND THE BREAD! YOU CHARGED ME FOR THE BREAD!"
Me: "uhh, the extra piece."
Them: "I can't believe this!"
Of course by this time, Jason is walking by and grabs the check out of their hands and is just trying to get them out of there. He takes off 10% for them bring OLD AND HORNORY, and I give them a freaking REFUND for $3.26.

She told my manager J that I was scared of him. Scared of him? I guess because I was just doing my job, I guess. He thought this was hilarious, knowing full well it wasn't true. And she said, "You guys have a serious problem! You're a chain, and you should all do things the same way!"
He corrects her quickly. We are NOT a chain, we are a franchise. We ALL do things differently. Very differently, might I add. Every store is owned by someone different, and we do what we want. We even have different menu's if we want.
Agh. I was just so angry. I was losing my cool over this lady.
Loud enough for her to hear, I was saying things like "Maybe I should go work for a soup kitchen if I'm gonna start giving things away for free" and "This isn't UNICEF or the Salvation Army, you PAY for food here, I'm sorry that this is a RESTAURANT, it isn't FREE"
Agh. I was furious. I can't even begin to explain. But I guess I just did.

Haha.. that felt good, you guys.

Hm. They still tipped me.


P.S.
I'm going to be a manager soon. *cheers*

becky [userpic]

fade out

June 7th, 2006 (01:25 pm)
current mood: excited



I'm so excited about War Cry. I havn't been since '04, and I'm sure there's tons of new young people. I'm gonna feel old unless they're letting a lot of people my age be leaders. I don't know when I'll hear what kind of position I'll be in. I'm excited about it. I hope I'm a small group leader.

I don't know what I'm gonna do for a week away from everything. As soon as I finish this entry I'm going to work on cleaning the house ALL DAY.. doing laundry, and even getting a head start on some packing for next week being I'll be working all weekend. It's gonna be slammed with tons of graduation parties. Maybe I'll make some money.

I found out the new manager position at Applebee's is INDEED for me. I mean, I knew, but the managers finally told me. Anywho, I don't know how long it'll be. The position is for the FOH-Lead, but they told me they need more key-hourlys, which is what Sarah is. You're a manager, but paid by the hour instead of a salary. You still make a lot, and I'd love to not have to serve ANY more. I'd get to wear manager stuff, walk the floor, learn how to do all this office work, get some good life experience. The sooner I get off the floor, the better. So I hope all of that takes flight very fast. I'm gonna let them know how interested I am, so they won't drag their feet anymore. I'm ready to stop being a waitress... now.

Anyway, time to start cleaning. I'm so excited about a clean house!!!

becky [userpic]

hmmm :)

June 4th, 2006 (04:20 pm)
grateful

current mood: grateful

Whew, what a day so far. I actually got up and went to church, and I'm very glad I did!
Morgan wanted to go to lunch afterwards, and I really owed her one. She was planning on paying for my meal, but as it turned out we were sitting in the booth next to Ken and Janet (my pastor and his wife) and they paid for our meal, and when they left, our waitress told us he had. Whew! So we left her a nice tip, and went on our way to EWC to get me an application for WAR CRY, which I can go to after all!
I think it will be awesome. I hope Josh doesn't have a problem with it. I will be gone June 12th-16th. Mon-Fri. at Liberty University in Lyncburg. I'm excited. But I'll miss my Joshy.. but I didn't get to go last year, however I was getting married so I have a good excuse. And I just miss everyone. I'd love to be involved, helping, learning, growing.

Anyway, I need to get ready for work. I have to be there at 5, and have to close. Oh goody. I'm very tired and my eyes feel like they are burning out of my head. Can't wait to get home tonight...
Josh should be at a movie perhaps when I get home. At least with me away for a week, Josh'll have time to do his own thing and hang out with Dan and stuff. :) Good for the both of us.
Wee.

Later.

becky [userpic]

one step ahead

May 31st, 2006 (02:25 am)
current mood: tired
current song: the nanny

Monday Joshua and I went to King's Dominion. I was SO determined to not get sun-burnt. I suceeded. I slopped on the sunscreen before we left the house, in the car on the way, when we got to the park, and throughout the day. Hahaha. I even had a face stick for my cheeks.

I'm tired.

But now I've lost the focus of my entry, so here is a survey. I'll try again tomorrow. I know I have something worthwhile to say.

ABC.Collapse )

becky [userpic]

pardon me

May 28th, 2006 (01:39 am)
current mood: meh meh meh
current song: nothing

What's the difference between a waitress and a toilet?


A toilet deals with only one butthole at a time.


I wrote that joke on the dry erase board today at work. Everyone loved it. I'm gonna look up more waitressing jokes to perk everyone up everyday from now on.
So, before I head to bed, I'm going to write a real live journal entry. I meant "real live" not "real livejournal". How cute.
Anywho, we had to close early tonight at work because our dishwasher broke. This may not seem like a big deal, but every one person has a job, and there's one person to run the dish machine. When that person becomes the one person to wash dishes by hand in a restaurant where there are about 40 tables, and we are constantly running out of silverware.. well, let's just say it got a little out of hand. I don't like that place lately. Agh. Everything's broken and no one's trying to fix it. Whatever. Anyway.

I havn't been to EWC in weeks. So I'm going tomorrow. I totally lost track of my tithe, all together, so I've had to start over. Since I've been keeping track of my tithe again, I've been making more money. Chance? Or sign? haha. When I had lost track of it, I stopped making as much money. Hmm. Interesting. Or just me.

So. No one commented on the flyer I made except Ashley. Forget all of you. I don't need any of you.

I don't know how I feel about this manager position at Applebee's. I'd like to go flat out go hourly and stop with the waiting tables and tips, unless I can be hourly and just pick up tables to help people out. That'd be cool. I've seen managers do that before. I don't know what they do with the tip...
I wish I was a cocktail waitress or a bartender. I like stuff like that. What's wrong with me? I'm so.. unprofessional? Well, I guess, but no, because I'm very professional at my unprofessional jobs!
I'm just so tired of working for TIPS. So tired of having to depend on the kindness of others for my money. It's So Lame. Making $2 an hour.. ok, I'm lying.. No, I really only make $2 an hour, however when I calculate in my tips I usually make above $10 an hour, which is darn good. Yep yep.

The kittens are sprouting up nicely. I think they are starting to climb out of the box, and Tokyo has to get out and put them back in it. At first when I walked in there and saw her with the kitten in her mouth I thought she was moving them again, but she put him back in the box and layed back down. They've been trying to escape ever since their little eyes opened. Aww. :) The one we're keeping has black eyes.. at least for right now. They are soo cute. I'm so glad we get to keep them for 6 more weeks while they are weaned. It's gonna be a zoo in here! How exciting!

I have a meeting at work on Tuesday @ 4. I don't know what it's about. But it's an expert meeting. And I, am an expert. ;)
AND on June 1st, a Thursday, I am going to VA Beach with my little brother and his class to chaperone for the day. I have to be at the school at 7:45 in the freaking morning, and we'll be back by 4:30. I knew I'd be too exhausted to work, so I switched with someone so I can work Wednesday. Woop.

I hate Fridays. Not that it's relevant, because now it's Sunday...

Anyway, this was just about pointless, so I am going to bed now. I hate my teeth. Nite.

becky [userpic]

whuddya think?

May 25th, 2006 (04:11 am)
current mood: tired




ah, i'm such a beginner. only experience can help.. so. try & try again.

becky [userpic]

(no subject)

May 21st, 2006 (03:26 am)

x-posted.

Tonight, one of my first tables was an elderly couple who started out very nice.
I think they started off with only some waters, and ordered a steak and a talapia.
I noticed they had senior citizens discount cards sitting on the table.
As the kitchen cooks their food, the steak is finished, however they realize that all of the talapia is frozen and it will take much longer to cook. So the steak sits in the window, which was supposed to be med. well, but it sat in the window so long waiting for the talapia, that it pretty much got cooked to well done. Agh.

I finally took their food, which was still okay, and they handed me the cards. Now, a lot of tourist and travelers bring us all kinds of cards like this, and honestly we can't take most of them. I work at Applebee's, since I kind of need that for background info. Anyway, my Applebee's is in a group called "Apple Gold" or "The Gold Group". Other groups, or franchises, have their own names.. this couples card was from "The Rose Group". Applebee's down here aren't associated at all with other Applebee's, especially one's in New York. That was made clear when there was a whole incident some months back where an Applebee's in New York served an alcoholic beverage to a 4 year old or something. There were things posted everywhere telling us what to say if anyone ever asked about it, and to say how we aren't associated with that Applebee's at all.

Anywho, I take the cards to the manager even though I knew what he'd say. Of course we can't take them, so I take the cards back to the folks, smiling away and nicely explain the policy. By the way, their cards also stated they could get 10% off alcoholic beverages, which is a Big No-No here in North Carolina. They have very strict alcohol laws in NC, whereas we aren't allowed to have Happy Hours or any type of specials on alcohol at ALL. Now, this couple didn't order any, but that's not the point. I explained to them how we weren't associated with "The Rose Group" and the card specifically stated that it was only valid at those Applebee's.

Boy, were those old folks pissed.
"We use this card everyhwere, from New York to Flordia, and we've never had anyone tell us we can't use it!"
Aww, well I'm sorry. We're the Gold Group. That card is for the Rose Group.
"Well how do we get a card for this Applebee's?"
We don't have them.
"Well why don't you ask the manager?! You never know unless you open your mouth and ask."
I'm pretty much a manager and I know that we don't have them.

It goes on and on and on and on.. and here goes:
SUDDENLY, everything is wrong with their food.
"How come his broccoli is soft, and mine is hard?!"
Because your dish is weight watchers, and they serve the broccoli raw.
"My steak is well done, it was supposed to be medium well."
Well can I get that re-done for you?
"No, because I'll have to wait for it."
OK, fine.
"My rice is cold."
Would you like some more?
"No."

Of course none of this is my exact words really, because you know how we have to up-play things and have super awesome fantastic personalities and keep everything lighthearted and going smoothly.

So, I send for some cooked broccoli for this table. It goes out, and she doesn't see me, but I hear her say, "They didn't have to bring this."
So I bring her a to-go box and basically say, "Here, you can take it with you." and so on and so forth.

She eats every single bite of her rice. He eats every single bite of his steak. I go to take her plate with her "raw" broccoli, and she's like "No, no, I'll take that, too"
I forgot to slide in the part where when we were going back and forth for the longest time.. it seems some people just want you so stand there and argue as long as you possibly will. So, while I was standing there, apologizing and being as nice as I possibly could, and answering stupid question after stupid question, this old woman has the nerve to slip in a, "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?"
Hahahha. I was just like, oh goodness. This is something else.

Now, how is it when someone doesn't like the food, they eat all of it and want to take the leftovers with them? I thought you didn't like it, you cheap bastard. It's like, "Hmm, I'm not getting my discount? Well then I'll get something for free."

So naturally, as they always do, the manager took off the steak. Ah.

They ended up leaving me $4 on their $16 check. Safe traveling, folks. Come back and see us, you trolls. Bring your stupid discount card.

becky [userpic]

get lost

May 21st, 2006 (03:05 am)
restless

current mood: restless
current song: the golden girls.

Blargh. I never go to church on Sunday mornings anymore, and this is why. I get off work so late, and it takes me hours to wind down for bed, so when 8am rolls around the alarm clock goes off, I sleep right through it. I want to go, I'm just always so exhausted. Plus, I lost complete trash of my tithe, and I can't remember what I need to tithe AT ALL. I just need to start over. Agh.

And tonight, I was so excited because when I counted my money, I had made like $86 when 12% of my sales was only $46, so I nearly doubled my tip claim. Then I realized that I had forgotten to take out the $35 from the night before, so I really only made like $50. Ah well.. I still did okay tonight. Hopefully tomorrow night I can make some money, too. And maybe.. I don't know.. I need to re-start my stupid tithe.

But overall, tonight was pretty good. Had a lot of good tables, I guess.. the guy from El Tenampa came in and was my last table, and he and his wife were great customers.

The kittens are soo cute. :) I just can't wait til they are having their run of the house. It's going to be so much fun! :)
And when the other 2 kittens have homes, and we keep the Torti, we're gonna have 3 cats. Wow. Poor Josh and I. haha. Too bad we don't live in the country, we could let them in and out as they please.. too bad we have to keep them cooped up in the house all the time.

I wish we really did live out in the country, on a farm or something. And I wish I was a vet or something, or had the know how to breed real breeds of cats. That'd be fun. I love animals. I'm such a kook.

.. ah, anything else? Eh. I don't know. I need to go to bed and go to church, but I know I'm not gonna feel like getting up in 4-5 hours for church and still not having any tithe because I don't have any money or don't even know how much I need. Blah. I'm so sleepy.

Ah.. time for bed. One more day of work tomorrow night, then off for 3 days. I think we're going Paint-balling Tuesday for the first time in my life. :D I'm very much looking forward to it. Scared of the pain though. haha. Need to find something to wear.

I wanna go see Liz. And Mal. Haha, only 3-letter named people are cool to me. :P

becky [userpic]

my shell

May 20th, 2006 (01:48 am)
content

current mood: content
current song: the nanny. as always.

So! :) Three healthy little kittens! And little they are. One looks exactly like Tokyo, with her markings and all (grey with black stripes). Another is mostly black, but really is grey with large black markings. The first one popped out at 8pm, and the second right behind at 8:30-8:45, but the last kitten that came out after 6 hours of labor (!!!) at 3am, is what I found out is called "Tortoiseshell", which of course is not a breed of cat, but just a name for the type of markings, like Calico. I've always wanted a cat like that and always wondered how they happened!
Poor Jake, the daddy, my orange/red tabby, none of his babies look like him at all.
But upon a little research, I found out the Tortoiseshell cat can come from a grey/orange tabby mix. :) Fun! That's the one I'm keeping.

Tortoiseshells! picturesCollapse )
I'm so looking forward to seeing these little kitties grow up. :) I've always wanted a Tortie, even though I didn't know what's what it was called until now. :)

I'm watching TV without my glasses. How frustrating to not be able to see anything. But I'm too lazy to find and put on my glasses.

I only made $37 tonight at work. On a Friday night. Ahh, this is getting so old. What is going on?! I miss the money.. I wish I could get another job.


Welllll, as soon as I get a digital charged or the correct cord, I'll be showing pictures of the kittens. :) Aww it's so exciting. They're up there mewing right now. Note, not "meowing", but "mewing". hee hee.

My monitor keeps flickering on and off and that's way too annoying to actually sit through, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

becky [userpic]

(no subject)

May 18th, 2006 (07:59 pm)
excited

current mood: excited

I just want to let you guys know my cat is in labor and has already popped out one kitten! :-D

becky [userpic]

chain of events

May 18th, 2006 (11:39 am)
current mood: okay
current song: the nanny

Whoa, how exciting!

Tokyo is SOOOO pregnant! Like, due any day now preggers. Wow! I can't believe it. Yesterday morning when I was cleaning the litter box... yeah, this is kind of gross.... anyway, there were little tiny rice-like worms in her doody. So I freaked out, because I had never seen them before, and I figured that was why her stomach was so swollen. Her stomach has been swollen for a while, but I just thought she was getting fat. The thought had crossed my mind that she was pregnant, because her and Jake had a few romps before we got him neutered. But it'd been so long, I thought there was no way. But here it is, about 2 months later, and she's about to pop. The vet said she was due any day now.
He even showed us an ex-ray of all the little babies inside of her. There are at least 3 well-formed little bodies. :) How anerable. I can't wait.

And Josh is starting a new job at the best place in Roanoke Rapids. Good news all around. :) But shh.

Gotta work tonight. PS-- I'm gonna be a manager at Applebee's. Well, what they call FOH-lead, which is just a manager of the front, like a BOH manager. And then there's all around managers that do both.. but I'm excited nonetheless. I'm sick of training people. It makes me lose my voice. From talking so much.

Anyway, gotta go.

Oh yeah. About Tokyo's "worms". They just gave her a pill and all was okay again.

becky [userpic]

Anyway;

May 13th, 2006 (12:34 pm)
complacent

current mood: complacent
current song: The Nanny

I want to go get my hair cut today.

I had a meeting at work this morning.

Erm.. the house really smells bad. I don't even know what to do, much less be here.

My black work pants ripped, so I got a whole new pair for 5 bucks at CiTiTrends. Neat-o.

This is choppy. Much like I want my haircut to be.

I don't have a day off until Wednesday.

becky [userpic]

sure to fade

May 9th, 2006 (04:59 pm)
gloomy

current location: josh's computer.
current mood: gloomy
current song: shinedown - i dare you

Things have been happening lately that can be classified as nothing short of life changing.
Nothing has seemed to prompt me to write without seeming insignificant in the grand scheme of things.. and what does that mean? I've stopped "writing entries" in my head.

Last week, give or take, Josh's mom (my mother in law), Linda, had to go to the emergency room for what they thought was a heartattack. She was in Wal*Mart with Clif and she lost all feeling in the left side of her body and didn't have the strength to push the grocry cart. She spent a few days in the hospital undergoing a series of tests to find out that she had a heart murmer and very high blood pressure. But what a scare. One of those days we spent about 8 hours by her side doing cross-word and sodoku puzzles. It was sombering. Things like that always make your heart break a little.

And of course, there's Ashley. It's all touch-and-go with her right now. I still can't fully believe this is happening to her. Mr. Suessmann (when am I going to stop calling him that?) and I are beginning the concoctions of a plan to raise money for all of this by helping sell her artwork. People need to know about her talent, and her situation. I know people have enough good in them to help out in a situation like this. But where do we start? We need to get a hold of Ashley's computer and save some of her artwork for print and distribution. She's amazing. This depresses me as well. But I still fully believe that she is going to be fine, and live longer than I do.

Then my other Ashley, she just graduated. There's always something good for something bad. She's going back to get another degree, but she's finished with one nonetheless. She's so awesome. And I'm so happy and proud of her for being just that.
But on the other side of that, I'm also depressed about the expectations of going to university, and how low people make me feel for not following that path. I'm sorry for choosing the path less traveled. I know what's best for me, and what God has for me. It hurts my feelings so much when people belittle me. I know it's not something they mean to do, and something I will overcome, and will eventually end. But for now.. owch.

Also, a girl I used to be in beauty pageants with commited suicide last week. Her father was a cop, she took his gun, went out in the front yard and shot herself. Her name was also Rebecca. *sigh*

And I know it was an amazing thing right before my wedding when I introduced my two best friends, and they became so close. But now I feel like I will never be a good of friend to either of them as they are to each other. This probably is a maturity problem on my part, but it just makes me feel so useless and no good. I'm just not a gift person like they are, and I feel so left out. It's not just this situation, it just seems like this kind of things happens to me a lot. Like when I introcued Ashley R. and Krystal.. who used to be one of my very best friends. All of a sudden they were together all of the time and I was completely out of the picture. They both came over one day and I wasn't in on any of their jokes, because I wasn't on birth control and didn't drink. I feel like I introduce people and they take off, and then I'm no longer needed.. But I know this is probably my fault for not being... more something. More anything.

I'm just so bland, and I befriend people who are nicer, cooler, more socialable, more Godly, more creative, more everything than me because I'm attracted to people like that. When I introduce these awesome people, they like each other so much better than they like me. I'm going to.. stop thinking about this because I'm just.. it's really nothing. I shouldn't be letting it get to me like this, because it's not even that big of a deal. I know they don't feel the way I am wording it, this is just what it's like inside my mind. However twisted that may be, and how it makes things appear. I'm smart enough to know no one seeks out to hurt me. And big enough to move past it and keep trying. I'm glad my friends gets along.. there was a time when I used to have all these friends from different "groups" and they never, ever got along. This is better than that, I guess. Oh, I know with my heart of hearts that I should be talking to Mallory or Ashley about this instead of this journal, but I just.. don't want to ever start a conversation like that, you know? It would just be so akward and stupid of me. Hopefully this will get it out of my system. And maybe help me be a better friend, more of what they both need. I guess everyone is some level of dispensible, even me. Everyone can get along without someone in their lives, if they absolutely have to. I realize I am one of these persons, but I want to not be that despensible person. I want to be needed by my friends. So, that is going to be my goal.

With all of these things happening in my life, back to back to back, I feel like I am going into Mallory-mode. I know that is a horrible term for this type of thing, but I feel more and more like I am able to empathize with her instead of just sympathized with all the things that happened in her life. And boy. Hugs are in order. Life can blow you off your high horse. And I feel very humbled. Able to start again. It feels okay.

This morning Sarah, my manager at work, called and told me they have a lot of people call out for tonight's shift, and to call her and let know if I could pick up a shift. So I did, and she told me there was only going to be 2 servers on the floor. I told her I'd really like to have the night off to clean my house, but to call me if they absolutely needed me. So I'm about to dry my hair and keep cleaning until they call. They'll probably wait until the dinner rush for me to come in. It sucks because tonight is American Idol night, and Josh's parents invited us to a revival.. and oh man, do I need it. To be revived. I feel so drained. Falling apart into a million pieces.

Summer is definetly in order.

becky [userpic]

project question

April 28th, 2006 (11:44 pm)

hi, i am doing a project for math, where i have to ask a survey question with a numercial answer.
and i need 30 answers.

my question is,

"how many hours do you work a week?"

so just, hit reply and type in a number, any number to help me out.



[[still need about 15 more answers, thanks to everyone who has answered already on myspace]]

becky [userpic]

the tide is high

April 28th, 2006 (11:38 pm)
current mood: okay
current song: fleetwood mac - go your own way

So, I'm not scheduled to work tonight. I'm still going in, because frankly I need the money, but I'm not going in until 5 so I can kind of chill while my uniforms dry. I'm tired. And I don't really feel like going at all, because tomorrow I'm working a double so I can train a girl during the day. Not bad, more money.

I want one of those cameras that you can take underwater, and to go to the beach or just go swimming and use up the whole thing. What fun that would be.. I've never had one. Should definetly do that soon.

Well I need to leave soon.. better get ready or something.

Semester is almost over. I'm not that stressed out.. I've been doing a lot of art lately though. I think it will continue into the summer. :)

----

home from work. that didn't post earlier.

becky [userpic]

haha, this is so cool!

April 24th, 2006 (11:37 pm)
current mood: excited
current song: taking back sunday - spin

I am a pinching koala and tree!
Find your own pose!



<tr><td valign="top" bgcolor="#b0e0e6" align="right">Pinching Koala and Tree Traits and Tendencies
Pinching Koala
and Tree couples experience a kind of super symbiosis that other sorts
of couples (especially vegan couples) only dream of. The harmony that
comes from this kind of pairing would be revolting if it weren’t so
inspirational, which is why Pinching Koalas and Trees are often
surrounded by friends and would-be friends, and their schedules are
often booked months in advance.
</td>
Comfort Zone
Pinching Koala and Tree is one of the Wind sleepers poses. Other Wind
poses you might explore include Softserve Swirl and Fireman's Carry.
</tr>
<td valign="top" bgcolor="#b0e0e6" align="right">Note
Koalas make for excellent lawyers
and flea market bargainers, thanks to their characteristic
tenaciousness.


So true! Haha. Awesome.

Well, Josh and I are about to go to the store and get Taking Back Sunday's new album. I'm just hoping they actually put it on the shelf at 12am like they are supposed to.


</td></tr>

becky [userpic]

whew

April 22nd, 2006 (01:59 pm)
current mood: tired
current song: taking back sunday - miami

Taking Back Sunday was absolutely amazing last light. It was like one huge mosh pit. Wonderful. EPIC. I LOVED IT. I can't wait to see them again. ... I didn't get to meet them. :(
I even actually saw Emi from VCU.. what are the odds! :)

And it's only 1:50 pm and it's dark outside, thundering and lightning and POURING down raining.
I wish I didn't have to work tonight. We probably won't be busy at all, and I probably won't make any money.
Then work again tomorrow, then off for another 3 days. I need to do my Excel lab though. And finish all my work for the semester, and get ready for the summer. For some reason I've stopped letting myself worry so much about it. I've put forth more effort than most in my design classes, I've learnt a lot and am still working on a bunch of projects. I hope I do okay. I think I will.

I can't wait to buy Taking Back Sunday's new album Tuesday. They're gonna be in Portsmouth at the Amplitheatre this summer with Angels and Airwaves, Head Automatica and The Subways. (If we're going to that we need to get tickets now so we can be in the pit and not in the seats) And I didn't realize it, but Tom Delong is the frontman for Angels and Airwaves. I didn't know he had another band. Or maybe I did know and completely forgot. So I'm downloading some of their stuff. He has such a distinguishable voice.

I better take a shower for work, I just hate showering during storms. Ah well.

Wow, this house needs a good cleaning. So it'll smell good again. I wish we could rid of our animals.. but we love them too much. Oh woe.

becky [userpic]

yay, spring & summer.

April 18th, 2006 (04:59 pm)
current mood: happy
current song: smashing pumpkins

I'm listening to Taking Back Sunday's new album on the Leak. I'm excited about it. It's different. Sort of slow-ish, more relaxing rock. Not what I expected.. still, I can't wait to buy it. :)

Me and Josh went on the Canal trail again today. I like riding bikes, except mine sucks. My brakes are sort of lame and my wheels are so small compared to Joshy's. Ah well, I'm getting better I guess, endurance wise. I just need to exercise more, every day at least. Do 30 minutes of something. And cut back on the sodas or something. At least I'm not gaining weight.

We went to Lowe's today to price sheds and rock to line the walkway out front and for our backsteps and such. We ended up buying me a hook for my hummingbird feeder, as well as another birdfeeder to put seed in and not nectar. We came straight home and he hung them outside for me. :) Wow, I'm happy. hehe. Talk about motivation. Can't wait to see birds come out. Now we just need the stones, some grass seed to make the backyard prettier, and to start on my garden and making it beautiful. :)

Well, I got called into work while we were at Lowe's, and I told her I'd come in, so I better get going..

becky [userpic]

stuff.

April 15th, 2006 (01:59 pm)
excited

current mood: excited
current song: brand new - track 2, new album. (no titles yet, haha)

a weird survey.Collapse )


I'm so sick today, I've almost lost my voice completely. When I called work, I could barely talk to Sarah. The sad thing about Applebee's is, we are SO understaffed, that there is only ONE employee that is off today. Every single employee was in there today. We need to hire some people, really.


I'm on Spring Break. Weird. I better do some work.

I just realized I left my painting at the college. I guess it's locked right now. Dag. I need to email Mrs. T.

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