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Oh Fuck. Here I Go Again.

In Deep.

In Deep.

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So I'm pretty much twitching like a druggie on withdrawl. Of course I'm enjoying the ability to relax and recharge my intellectual abilities by not speaking and vegging out in front of my familiar comforting computer rays, but at the same time I feel like my arm is completely missing.

I don't want to go upstairs because he's not there.

In any case, the past six days have been interesting. I thought I'd pretty much crack under the pressure of having someone's constant attention, but I daresay I've done good. I've grown more familiar with his particular brand of pouting, but its not the end of the world when that stuff happens.

It kind of upsets me that he can't hear about anything I've done in the past with other people without getting withdrawn and angry. I really would just like to lay out everything I've done on the table, but he probably wouldn't acknowledge me for a good few hours. And it isn't even that bad, just strange.

Aside from that, he's amazing, and makes me feel like the hottest girl on the planet. I told him that my gyno said I need to lose twenty pounds and he flipped shit. Even though I would like to not be so fat :S.

Oh yeah. I went to the gyno today and I hate doctors even more now than I did before. I mean, she was nice and explained everything, but a stranger still touched me in ways no one I don't know should. I'm pretty sure you could jab your finger in there a little more delicately, doc. And I really don't appreciate you flipping my uterus around like a quarter. Don't even get me started on the metal spreader. I highly dislike it. And had to sit around waiting in medical garb (nearly naked) for an hour and a half. While poor Chris had to sit in the waiting room. Reading the entire eight page article about Brittney Spears not being able to see her kids anymore.

I am going to sleep so good tonight/tomorrow. Its pretty much the only thing I've been looking forward to about my chuck leaving. He can't sleep through the family yelling about anything, so basically he'd been waking me up and cheating me out of about a million hours of sleep.
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