"You're Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, head of Stargate Command at Cheyenne Mountain. You used to command SG-1 which is now led by Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter. You once visited a planet called Argos and the nanites in your blood caused you to age artificially. You've had the entire repository of the Ancients' knowledge downloaded into your brain -- twice! You have a thing for The Simpsons, fishing, Mary Steenburgen, the colour peridot ... and you're a terrible ping pong player."