It doesn't really feel like a new year to me. Everyone's very excited. I don't know how I feel about it. Maybe it's just cause I have been throwing up all morning, or maybe it's because I really feel like things aren't coming to an end. Or even to a new beginning either. It's strange, I can't even really remember the beginning of the year. I remember Adrienne and I went to Max's. I don't remember what we did. I know someone sprayed champagne all over the floor, and then there was a dance party and people started taking off their clothes and I'm also having slight memories of Backstreet Boys, but I'm pretty sure that was another party. It's the end of the year and I'm watching Mike play Grand Theft Auto Liberty City game and debating on going to the bar later, even though I'm feeling sick. Bryan's band is play a free show at Rubber Gloves. I'll probably go for the Bryantime before he leaves on tour and the free champagne at midnight if I feel better. Not getting drunk though, too broke to get drunk. Hahaha. Or maybe party hop with these two bottles of wine in my car and get my party onnnn. Who knows? Does this make me sad? Do I care? It's no big.
Anyways, I think I'm going to try new things in the new year, just to make it less monotonous. I say that now, but the follow up I'm dreading. There are the like finding a new job and trying to get some sort of degree/certification. I'm just lacking the motivation right now. Not taking any sort of initiative and I have to. I think Bryan might get sick of me being such a bum, but I'm not doing it just for him, I have to do it for me too. My EMT class filled up, but it's all good I wouldn't have passed the drug test anyways. I need a hobby, something to kill the monotony too, my mom/aunt got me some art and writing supplies, notebooks and stuff, I think I'll start using those. I haven't drawn anything in so long. I miss painting for no reason. And writing too. There's just been nothing in my head lately, no pictures, no words. It's just been blank, my creativity is shot and I need it back. It's a part of me. It always has been.
So I guess that's my plan for the new year, I can't really think of anything else. I'd love to travel more, but you need money to travel. Maybe I'll do that. I don't know, my stomach is starting to hurt again, so I'm going to go lay down and watch some T.V. I just needed to ramble a little bit.