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Krystal

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(1 are decadent | and love it)

Feeling Ugly [Saturday
November 10th, 2012]
The earliest memory of me feeling self cautious was back in elementary school. And over the years I still find myself in a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I believe i look beautiful, other times i don't even want to look at myself in the mirror. Now that i'm a new mom, I've been experiencing hair loss from the change in hormones. My hair falls and falls all day, the floors thoughout the house are covered in hair and it doesn't seem to be getting better. My hair is thinning, and earlier today i noticed small patches of skin showing by my forehead from all the hair i lost. Ugh i already have self image issues this just makes it so much worse. If it weren't almost winter, i would cut my hair off!


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

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Laziness [Saturday
September 8th, 2012]
Why are people so god damn lazy. Unfortunately Greg and I have to reside with two other people one of them is a n old best friend of mine. As much as I love him as a friend I really don't appreciate the mess he has brought upon our house. I love to have a nice clean home but it's really hard to clean up after 4 people including myself with a baby around.Even when I was pregnant and worked a full tine job I would STILL clean. My friend and my bf work full time jobs but honestly if a pregnant chick working a full time job can clean so can you!! I can't wait for my friend and his gf to move out whenever that is...


Posted via m.livejournal.com.

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[Thursday
June 7th, 2012]
[ mood | hungry ]

Oh my goodness!! Hello LiveJournal and hello to anyone who still or will read this! I am so excited to announce that I am finally, FINALLY starting my damn online store! I will be selling things through Facebook, I already ordered a bunch of studs (for super cheap), I ordered a bunch of zippers and I have a lot of clothing ideas. I am also going to be singing up for a sewing class today, the class starts on Saturday and will go on for 3 hours, once a week, for 5 weeks. Woo hoo! I gotta get started somehow right? I need to learn how to sew so I can make some bad ass clothes. All my stuff will be made to order. Can't wait to get started! I know that baby ion is on the way soon, but I quit my job to take care of him and to start this business. I know, I gotta spend money to make money, although right now I am waiting for one last check, I will make the best out of it and stretch that dollar!



Here are some of my current inspirations..Collapse )

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[Monday
January 23rd, 2012]
Wow what a crazy hectic past few months this has been! Today I am 15 weeks and 3 days pregnant, i'm due July 11th 2012, don't know what i'm having yet, everyone says it's a boy...and I agree! My next ultrasound isn't until February 21st I can't wait!! I want to see my baby again. The first time I saw it I felt like I was flying, seeing my baby for those short 20 seconds or so changed everything! After that I made sure I started eating better because seeing my little baby just made me think that wow I have a living baby inside of me, I have to take care of it more it depends on me!

(and love it)

[Friday
December 2nd, 2011]
Geezus I couldn't log on yesterday at all don't know what was wrong with LJ or with my computer, either way I am SO happy the semester is almost over I just have a few final exams to deal with and i'm DONE! I can finally start on the clothing thing if time allows it. I want to clean up my whole apartment before my family comes over for Christmas, I really hope I can make this happen, I want to have a beautiful decorated tree let's just hope I can do it soon :] I love seeing all the other apartments with their trees and lights, yet I still haven't done anything, need to get Christmas shopping too...as soon as I stop buying stuff for myself ahh!!

(and love it)

[Saturday
November 5th, 2011]
I realized that I enjoy my weekends and weekdays just here at home, relaxing with the cat, doing homework, watching tv or movies, cleaning, etc. Why go out and waste your brain cells when I could be at home spending time with my Kitty. It's Saturday night and while all my facebook friends are out partying and getting wasted, i'm at home chillin. I washed the cat today, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, watched a movie and washed clothes. I rather do this than spend money on drinks.

(2 are decadent | and love it)

[Friday
October 28th, 2011]
Just a quick update. I haven't been up to much, same old. I finally got my Food Stamps card, I will be getting $68 a month for food :] woo hoo! I am so excited because food is seriously expensive sometimes. Also, I decided to do something I haven't done in a while! Here are a few pics just because I was really bored and it was about time for some.

.....Collapse )

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[Thursday
October 13th, 2011]
Tengo un corazon que se muere por dar amor, que no conoce el fin.

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[Thursday
October 6th, 2011]
Hello LiveJournal I have been doing very well this semester, I am finally applying myself to school and getting things done. For the past two years I've been attending the University but I was so caught up on other unimportant things that I forgot about how important school is than anything else for me at the moment. I used to party a lot, and not apply myself at all with school which brings me to the position I am in right now. These past 2 years I have been receiving financial aid but this semester I was about 600 dollars short because I had fallen behind on my grades and the Financial Aid people took away some of my reward money due to my grades. So now that my school is being paid for out of my own pocket I am just that more committed to do well. I guess in a way I really needed this to happen because it opened my eyes to realize that I have been taking school for granted because it was just "given" to me.

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[Saturday
September 24th, 2011]
Typing an essay on Vegetarianism and Veganism only to smell the neighbors cooking their meat over the grill ahh the irony!!!!

(2 are decadent | and love it)

[Thursday
September 15th, 2011]
Coming soon! Sesh clothing :] I am starting a new project, going to sell "vintage" clothes, clothes that I know no body got. I'm also going to start buying a bunch of stuff at Saver's and sewing beautiful pieces together. It doesn't end with clothes though, i'm taking it all the way to your accessories! I'm going to have glammed out sun glasses and shoes as well as bags ! MMM HMM
Get ready! I know I am. I'm so excited to start this already.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sesh/113967258708284

(and love it)

[Wednesday
September 14th, 2011]
So much homework, so little time!! I need to stop procrastinating !! All in all, I'm enjoying this semester very much and it hasn't even been a month since I went back. I guess this time I am just excited to know that I only have three more years, three more years for a new life basically. No more minimum wage jobs. Finally a damn career.

(and love it)

[Monday
September 12th, 2011]
Sometimes I come to believe that I still have BDD. I catch myself worrying about my looks every day just like I used to in the past, the only difference is that I don't starve myself or make myself throw up anymore like I used to. I really thought all these negative feelings about myself went away but recently I have noticed that they have returned. Perhaps it's due to stress from my relationship with Greg, trying to be perfect for him all the time. The other day I actually found myself worrying about wrinkles! How old am I? 21! I shouldn't be worrying about wrinkles..I am so preoccupied and obsessed with my face, I hate it! I know I shouldn't worry, i'm young and the stress from worrying is what is probably causing my face to deteriorate. Just yesterday Greg told me "you're starting to get skinny again, I can see it in your face". I really don't understand how the hell I get skinnier, I used to be obsessed with having a thicker body when I was younger, then a few years ago I was obsessed with being skinny, and now i'm starting to worry and wish I had a thicker body again just like I used to when I was little. It's a crazy roller coaster of emotions that I honestly do not know if they will ever go away. As long as I can remember I have always been obsessed with my looks, not in the sense of being conceited or cocky about them, but in the sense of worrying about perfection and beauty that in general just brings down my self esteem.

(and love it)

[Saturday
September 3rd, 2011]
Tengo miedo..

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[Friday
August 26th, 2011]
I hate math!!! Seriously I just need to find something else to do because I HATE wasting so much fucking time on a stupid subject that I don't even understand!!

(4 are decadent | and love it)

[Sunday
August 14th, 2011]
Pues trate y trate pero lo mas que intento buscarte, lo mas que no te encuentro, aver si algun dia me encuentras tu..

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[Tuesday
August 2nd, 2011]
I know I've been writing a lot of depressive shit lately but I promise myself to stop. It's not good for me to be so passive about my life, I am just so lost, not knowing where to go career wise, but I will never know until I try!

(2 are decadent | and love it)

[Tuesday
July 26th, 2011]
I believe this is really now the end of it. I know I have gotten in so many fights with Greg before but today must have been the worst of the worst..I'm not sure. But I do believe that it is all over now. It all started when we woke up, he was moody, I said nothing. Nothing at all because one small wrong word and he get infuriated. So he starts drinking, it's his day off, usually he smokes his brains out but he doesn't have any weed. I mind my own business all morning, I go buy a money order for the electric bill, I come back and he's chit chatting on the phone. Of course I get upset because it's nice that as soon as I leave he is talking on the phone with someone while I haven't even had one conversation with him ALL DAY. So I ask "Who are you talking to" and he says "To my other girl friend" I get upset not because he is talking to his other girl friend but because I know he's lying and only saying that to make me upset! So I go sit down in the dining room table, preparing the money order so I can mail it and he asks "When was the electric bill due" I say "Yesterday" He goes on saying that I can't do anything right, and bitching about other things that I can't do right, I don't say anything and out of nowhere he attacks me! I stumble on the floor, he attacks me more, I start yelling, screaming, leave me alone leave me alone. It's pointless the more I yell the more he gets upset. I call the police, he stars attacking me again, pulling me from my hair, hitting me, spitting in my face. I try to escape in peace but once he's mad, that's it, there's no turning back. The look in his eyes is all too familiar, it is not something that has never happened before. But today he attacked me for no reason, I wasn't doing anything wrong. All the other times when this happens it is because I start the arguing and it ends in tragic. Today was different though, like I said before, today he attacked for no reason. Maybe I upset him when I asked him who he was talking to...I know that was it, but it was a simple question not something to get upset over.......So after a few minutes of fighting, I finally am able to attain all of my money and my precious cat and I leave. I leave to a hotel, where I rent a room I don't even enter, because I return to the house to get some more of my things, and alas the police had arrived...Greg was more calm, he packed my things neatly in bags so I could leave in peace. I came home crying, explaining to the police what happened. In the end, he decided to leave the house instead of me because I don't have a place to go. Although I rented a hotel, it would only be for one night and then I would be lost again, possibly staying in my car. Greg has anger issues, but deep in his heart I know he cares about me, or else he wouldn't have let me stay in the apartment. So i'm here now, by myself, just Kitty and I. She is all I have...my mom doesn't live here she's in Mexico and so is my dad, I really am alone in this town. Although my brother lives up the street, I cannot stay with him you see his boyfriend is allergic to cats...I don't know what is to come next. I feel regret for everything that happened today but Greg attacked me out of no where, which was the end of it all for me. Someone who hits me, pulls my hair, spits in my face, yells at me and tells me that he hates me absolutely should be out of my life forever right? Well I am almost as insane as him because despite it all I still love him. I guess because he is all that I have right now, I spend all my days with him, but lately it really all has been going to shit. And today was a perfect example that this person does not have any respect for me.

The video I am about to post is not for remembrance of Amy but because I have always loved this song, and today more than ever it speaks to me...




(1 are decadent | and love it)

[Wednesday
July 20th, 2011]
Hello livejournal friends!! I have been away for two months because I moved!! Same town, just different part of it. My mom lost the house to Chase bank. I've been here since May in this new apartment living with my boyfriend. I love living with him he is amazing, I know in the past we've had LOTS and I mean lots of issues but now that we live together it has made our relationship better. I've been here for two months without internet until today, so I will definitely be updating more whenever I can. Also I finally got a new job!! No more working at a disgusting convenient store where it's filled with nothing but rude, selfish, druggies and alcoholics! I quit about a month ago and am now a waitress. I love being a waitress I come home with money every day so my pockets are never empty. Everyday is a different wage, some days I'll make $11 bucks an hour, the next I'll be making up to $23. I'm not rolling around in cash but I can say that I have more than enough of what I normally would receive working at 7-Eleven. Anyway, I will put up some pictures as soon as I can take care everyone.

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[Friday
April 8th, 2011]

No more boring posts ;]



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