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-.-' [06 Jul 2007|06:46am]
[ mood | cranky ]

So yeah I got yelled at for being on the comp too much aha that sucks.

Anyway nothing much has really happend. Nicholle showed the fuck back up, though she started to piss me off last night...not all of us can stay up all night and party, some of us go to work and have to wake up at 5 >.< Im stressin about my job because I feel like Im fucking up all the time T.T. I duno wtf is going on...I've never had such issues getting a job down, I keep on forgetting little tiny fuckin things and thats the things the told me I would have to watch for the most. I dont know whats wrong with my head...even when I go through things slow things fuck up, I dont know...that and I have like no social interaction here, everyone speaks spanish and is a tad bit older than me on average like 4 years older or something like that. That and there is no cute guys either, you think there would be some cute Mexicans but no. I dont know what I want, I feel so bored with life, not bored just stagnant? I duno how to describe it, its not boredom and its not frustration, its like somewhere in between...it's like Im sick and tired of being sick and tired...totally lame. Time to get to work, wish me luck today. T.T


I wanna watch it all go down... [25 Jun 2007|10:07am]
[ mood | tired ]

I am so tired today T.T aha it prolly doesn't help I got kinda baked this morning.
This is the first day I have to do my position without someone looking over my shoulder the whole time.
I haven't fucked up yet and I did everything I was supposed to so yeah <3 
Im just tired and ready to go home.
Im taking my first spinning class today at 5:30. Imma go check it out to see if I like it before I pay 150 bucks for the next 3 months. Im going to take a spinning class 4 days a week and a yoga class on friday, Im excited. I just really want to get into shape and if Im blowing all this money on other shit I can affort 150 bucks one time for 3 months. And it's not a contract so I dont have to worry about fuckin up my credit some more if something happends...
So this weekend was pretty good, besides blowin all my cash ahaha. I went shopping of course :P. I got these cute white cropped pants, a cute white top and some awesome new shoes...and some jewelry and some shirts for Ventura, ahah I spent like 100 bucks at the mall T.T Im bad. Then we went to the faire Saturday night and spent like 75 bucks on rides and food >.< I binged so bad ahah I ate funnel cake, carmel apple,churro, nachos, italian sausage,hot dog...thats it I think, now of course I didnt eat them all myself, Ventura gobbled most of everything I had a couple bites though and thats all you need ahaha...damn funnel cake is so good >.< it had rasberries and whipped cream and powdered sugar roflmfao thats so awful.
Then on Sunday we went to the movies and spent like 30 bucks ahaha god. We saw 1408, it was pretty cool, I think Ventura liked it more than me. He thinks its better than Hostel II...it was, Hostel II sucked ahaha. Then I dunno what Ventura spent his money on. He paid rent bought himself some pants....food, he bought lotsa food. Ventura likes to eat good sometimes I do too but it's not because Im hungry I just want to taste it aha. I perfectly fine with carrots and yogurt...maybe a turkey burger patty for dinner so I get some protien. But lately I dont eat that much, Im tired of eating and tired of being fat...if I was skinny I would be a model right now and raking in the dough...everyone tells me go be a model anyway, but I dont want to be the fat model that got skinny, I dont want anyone to know that I was fat ahaha.
I was hanging out with this guy Ross that I know, I met him on myspace and we have hung out a few times now...he's always trying to get me to do stuff with him...like he bought these 3 tickets for a concert that he want me to go to with one of my hot girl friends...for one no girl that I am hanging with wants to go out with a harmonica playing, sign language majoring dork :P  for 2 I dont have any girl friends, the only I had stopped calling me about a week ago and I have no idea why...3 wtf would I want to go out with someone else besides my boo on the weekends, we both work all week and the weekends are ours, so Ross is an idiot for trying to get a girl who is hella taken to go out with him...it's starting to get on my nerves actuly. Like on Fri, he wanted to hang out and smoke a j, so I tell him what my plans are and to meet me at the mall. Well when we are hanging he tries to get me to go buy fabric with him to sew his bag so it's not so dorky. Fuck that shit, I am not going shopping for any fucking cloth to sew a bag for a dork that I have hung out with a few times, specially since it woulda been a HUGE hassell...what an idiot, who the fuck does he think he his asking me to change my plans for him...sheesh. 
So I like have no friends here...I had one but she just stopped calling and I can't call her b/c her phone got turned off and she doesn't have any other # for me to call her at...totally lame. I dunno wtf her problem is...I am so tired of this forever friends bullshit quest, I swear Im the only one who can't find good friends who want to be friends for years...whatever, I guess other people just make complications for you, in my experience most my friends have taken advantage of me and then just left when I was useless...so who needs that shit aha. 
Im going to be 22 in like 2 weeks...22 aha I remember writing in my journal when I was like 16...it seems like yesterday but man has it been hella days...crazy how fast my life is going by now. I can't wait till I am finally all the way situated and have a normal life. Work at a job for years live in the same place for years...oh god would that be nice, I havent lived any where for a year since I was like 16 aha. Im tired.


<.< >.> [20 Jun 2007|11:52am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Got mah vans on but thay look lyke sneakas!!!!
got mah vans on but thay look lyke sneakas


[20 Jun 2007|08:10am]
[ mood | sick ]

Hmmm for being a rocker guy Aaron Gillespie of UnderOath/The Almost is kinda cute...he's really weird looking and it kinda makes him cute I guess...I think it's the red hair...I dunoo I dont even like guys like that ahaha who knows why I think he's attractive...


Tha Week-Nd [18 Jun 2007|10:23am]
[ mood | hungry ]

This weekend was kinda uneventful besides a few little tiffs with Ventura...the normal stuff. I dunno sometimes he just acts weird and I hate it...Like lets see this weekend Amya was bringin us a sac (we went halfers with her) she was taking the bus so we had to go pick her up from the bus station (thats lyke 2 mins walking away from my house) or so I thought it was "we" nope when it was time to go get her he made this big deal out of me not going, saying that I would walk too slow and he just wants to hurry and get over there and back...wtf really I can't be the only one that thinks that is complete and utter bullshit...but yeah whatever I guess I can get over it I dont even remember him doing things like that when we're getting along...sometimes I feel like I love him so much my heart hurts aha and it does, it's like this little achy pain I get when I think of him...I want it to go away. I dont want to feel sad when someone isn't around or if that person goes away, fuck that then they have all this emotional power over you and even Ventura who loves me will use that to his advantage...
I haven't eaten anything in like 2 days...Im starting to feel it now lol, after tomorrow the pains should go away. Even though they're annoying it's kinda comforting to finally try to get my rear in gear on this bs...I dont know if Im going to straight fast either...Im thinking of like special K diet lol. 1 cup for breakfast 1 cup for lunch and then maybe some ground turkey and veggies at dinner...Ventura won't just starve with me but he'll eat healthy shit if I make it...Gods I just want to be skinny, I want lipo T___T Ventura says thats just the laziness talking...he's right Im kinda lazy thats why Im in the fatty prediciment to begin with....I dont know what happend to the motivated not lazy Chloe, she died sometime with Mikey Im sure after awhile you just kinda give up...
I want to be a hip hop music video girl aha I would rock hard in those, they needs some hot white girl most them bitches ugly, I would blow em all outta tha water...If I were fit I would blow most people outta tha water T__T 
I could make so much moolah with this face rofl...God I want to get my belly button pierced T___T I dont want to be fat anymore....
Nicholle didnt call me all weekend...I think she's mad at me. I dont know why she would be but she called me on Sat and I kinda hinted towards me staying home this weekend and spending it with Ventura and she said she would call me back and I havent heard from her since...thats ok she's kinda wearing me out...she wants to go out every day...she likes to drag me around on her errands and it wears me out so bad omg, Im not in highschool anymore I cant  just go out all day and all night and be ok...that and Ventura wants dinner when he gets home so I need time to clean and make dinner and hangin with Nicholle cuts into that time and he's getting irratated with me T_T.  
That and Nicholle is still like a kid sometimes, I want some older gfs I can go out with, we can never go any where because she's only 18...so I dont know what she wants from me, just to ride around with her all the time...sorreh wase of time for me...
I saw Fantastic 4 : Rise of the Silver Surfer...lame. It would be good if I had kids that were into the super hero stuff but just going by ourselves it was lame, I only went because Ventura wanted to go, I dont even care about comic book movies only cheesy horror movies lol. I really want to see 1408 it looks awesome <3. The only good thing about the movie was the Silver Surfer was kinda hot, he was ripped but not bulky, totally hot...mmmm
I think I might buy some weed today...I dunno yet. 
GOD! Everyone keeps asking why I have my office light off...maybe because I dont want to turn it on...I have plenty of light from the warehouse and the computer...Im weird I like it a tad bit dark...sheesh.


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