||[Apr. 10th, 2007|02:35 am]
As most of you already know, I lost my job.|
Three weeks ago I had my job interview. Half an hour later (that was on the evening of my second-to-last day at work) they told me that I was not "extroverted enough" and that I don't really fit in to the image they had formed for how my position should be in the future. For the record: I did my job very very well for those two years, I was liked by everybody (except my boss), and that was just an excuse to get rid of me.
It was a shock for me and everybody. The thought of everything changing, of becoming unemployed all of a sudden, and having to find something new were very scary. In fact, I'm still worried about what should become of me.
I spent the first days afterwards collecting my things, saying goodbye to my colleagues who I liked a lot (some of them are close friends) and going to the unemployment office.
The following week I had an exhibition at a hunting and fishing fair. While being there and watching out for the artwork I filled out my forms and thought about what I want to do now. Since I am forced to change my life I thought it's the perfect time to finally try and get into photography as a profession. First through an internship and then, after half a year when I start running out of money, as an assistant. It's a somewhat risky plan, but at least I'm getting unemployment compensation. If I fail I can still get some meaningless office job. But at least I tried!
It's the year of change for my friends too. Alex, who I did the makeup photos for, is trying to go to a makeup artist school that has more emphasis on stage makeup and the likes. Ben, my flat mate, is applying for graphic design school. It would have been good for at least one of us to have a normal income, but we will make it somehow. He'll have to get a side job to finance his studies.
Saturday was my birthday. Ben had invited me for dinner some weeks ago, but he ended up on vacations in Berlin. So Frank invited me in his place, and I told my friends that whoever wants to come along is welcome.
Frank insisted on blindfolding me, even though I knew we were driving to the Greek restaurant. I thought it was silly but way later I found out it had a purpose, haha. My friends were already waiting, I got some flowers, sweets, a Muse cd, and food. Frank was often disappearing, I had no idea why. He was a bit ill and picked up some friends from the train station so they could join us.
After dinner he made an announcement, congratualting me and said that I have to come outside. First I was thinking "oh god, please don't let it be a stripper!", and when he said outside I thought "fireworks!". We all gathered outside in the dark, they set up a little radio, and to the music Tine started flinging burning flares. It was quite pretty and not what I expected. :-) When she was finished they told me to look at the lake (which is directly next to the restaurant) and on the other side some lights went on, forming a "25" and then fireworks went off! I was so surprised, they had arranged fireworks after all! :D Apparently they had planned this for quite a while now! *love*
For the next day (Sunday) the school where I attend evening photography classes invited me to take photos of their info day. I took it as a good sign, because I had applied for a scholarship some weeks ago. A girl working there was telling me how great my photos are and then she let it slip that I got the scholarship! Haha, I was happy. I don't have to pay for the next course!
I don't know if they are happy with the photos I took on that day, though. It was dark, I am still not working with flash for various reasons, and I had to upload the photos onto their computer immediately afterwards without getting a chance to work on them or make a selection. I hate that.
Well, apparently I'll have to take photos on all upcoming info days, so there'll new chances...
Last week I started applying for internships at various photo studios. I started with the one I had an interview with last year. So far I haven't gotten any replies except from one who had been looking for an intern, telling me he liked my work but had already given away the job to someone else. He'd like to meet up some time, though.
It's Easter, so I hope to get some replies in the coming week.
Wish me luck on my search, guys! Sometimes I'm really doubting myself and life.
Oh, and to round up the misery, I'm ill again. I had a cold just a month ago, so it's quite unfair! Sleeping long, not doing anything, feeling bad and tired, and my sleeping times are really really messed up (I'm writing this at 3:30am). I'm also feeling so uncreative.