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so crush me baby [entries|friends|calendar]
so crush me baby

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[26 Nov 2005|01:18am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

new journal -

_im to blame.




go add it, im too lazy to link you!


bright eyes was tonight<3

lead us thru this one

[13 Nov 2005|11:22pm]
sometimes, people should keep their mouth shut when they dont know what theyre talking about. i'm going to be in a bad mood for a good couple of days now. thank you, you insecure bastard =)
lead us thru this one

[09 Nov 2005|11:24pm]
karen is the motherfucking CHAMP!
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[09 Nov 2005|12:15am]
i tried to update in here, but i really just dont know what to say.
lead us thru this one

[06 Nov 2005|01:09am]
kjshadgkjhdfkd

thats how i feel right now, anyone else?
(1) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[16 Oct 2005|10:07pm]
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
lead us thru this one

[04 Oct 2005|11:55pm]
i got an apology tonight that was waay overdue.

and it really meant a lot to me. wow.
lead us thru this one

[28 Sep 2005|01:35am]
i know nobody reads this.

and i know not many people care.

but this is my best friend in the entire world.

Mariners243 (1:31:36 AM): kaitlyn as a smart perso once told me theres no reason to settle youre amazing the way you are and any guy would be stupid nto to see that
Mariners243 (1:31:49 AM): you know who that smart person is?
kaitlyn 31O x (1:31:53 AM): who
Mariners243 (1:31:57 AM): you
Mariners243 (1:32:02 AM): you said it to me at one point
Mariners243 (1:32:17 AM): excpt changed for teh gender obviously


that just made me cry. he is my best friend, and no one even comes close. because he knows me inside and out, knows exactly what to say - even when its not asked ; or not what i want to hear. and i love him.

end of story.
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[19 Sep 2005|01:00am]
i love life.









when i donr stop to thinkg about it.











ps; you can tell me how you just dont fit in. & how you're gonna be somethinggg.
lead us thru this one

[08 Sep 2005|12:29am]
college isnt bad.

met a LOT of cool people.

possible boys too?

this pimp got a few numbers.





aha. but i will forever love my best friends & nothing will change that.<3
lead us thru this one

[05 Sep 2005|02:29am]
i had a two hour conversation with ashley richards tonight, & it should be known that i love her.

i start classes on tuesday, & i dont want to. i refuse to grow up, i won't do it.

life is decent.

kaitlyn needs a boy. mhm.








werd up. fxck the bitches&hoes.
lead us thru this one

[28 Aug 2005|01:10am]
i love my friends

&

i love my life.





that is all ladies&gentlemen!
(1) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[21 Aug 2005|02:08am]
oh
the
summertime.
lead us thru this one

[15 Aug 2005|09:39pm]
i enjoyed warped tour.

thinking about it now, i wish we stayed for: senses fail, mae, motion city soundrack, i wanted to see my american heart, um & others too. btw, amber pacific - they're gorg.

i was against the barrier for:
-falloutboy (we thought it was senses fail =\)
-storyoftheyear
-mychemicalromance
*just so you know, my chest & arms are bruised from being there the whole time. seriously, in pain. my head & neck also hurt from being kicked in the head and having people fall on me. me and nikki were CHAMPS! haha, it was a good time. we made friends with the security guard who brought us water even though all the toher ones were assholes. AND we totally saw the guy from MTV that got calf implants. mhm.

we saw boys night out for a song, i enjoy them.

& watched starting line from the side against the fence because we were dead. but they were good.

im going oout tho so ill finish later.
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[09 Aug 2005|12:10am]
this is me, whining about my life - so if you're going to complain about it ; dont read it. thats simple enough right?



so, anyways, my aunt had to shave her head because of the kemo?[sp.] i saw her today with her wig on and stuff. i also bought her some bandanas from AE. its really sad and scary. all my aunts had to get checked, including my mother. i feel like im in a really helpless situation, adn there's nothing that i can do about it. except feel sorry for my aunt, her kids, myself & my family. what else can i really do, besides just be there? it sucks. i dont want anything bad to happen to my aunt, i wont be able to deal with it. just writing about it makes me really sad & teary.

PuRe suqar [1:57 AM]: whatever. its just funny how we were all " best friends " thats all. everyones just got a real fucked up version of what friends are. and i dont need it. im done with it - its high school bull shit, im just over it. id rather have no 'real' friends than fake ones.

i said that to brenna the other night, it made me feel good. but at the same time its kind of sad, how quick people change & stuff. not to say i thought i'd stay friends with those girls forever, or even for a week. but in general. my dad is friends with the 5 or 6 guys he was friends with in high school, and i wish i had that. i know for a fact that there's people that i'll still talk to just because. but most of them are guys, and thats not really a problem. its just something i wish i had, that one best friend that is always there. cause i do have friends, a lot of them. sometimes too many it hink. but its just not the same, and i used to have it. i miss it, a lot.

and boys in general just suck. more & more i meet guys that only want sex, and its starting to actually get irritating. but i just dont get when theyre gonna grow up? cause im sure that college isnt much different. and i feel like i need a guy, always. not a boyfriend, but just a guy who's there. kind of as a security blanket or something. im sure most girls feel this way. but then again, at the same time i htink that real love is impossible at this age. so it would just be pointless to attempt starting something with the enevitability of it ending, and hurting one or more people.

another thing : im really glad that im not just one of those girls who have sex all the time. or random sex. or sex just to have sex. but sometimes, i feel like i should be like that. ive had sex three times in my life. yes, three. and im sure that no one believes that, but its true. three. 2 of them were terrible expiriences. one, maybe, that im just not over yet and therefore not ready to do it again. but thats something that not one person has been able to understand / or care about yet. so whatever. but anyway, is sex really that serious? does it feel good to have sex with some random chick/guy that you just met, or know nothing about? theres so many unanswered questions. i think i just kind of rambled on about nonsense for a paragraph, so ill end that here.

my mom told me that sooner or later i'm going to have to choose who i'll be living with when everything is finalized. that hurt. that is something thta is going to be impossible to do,a nd idk how im going to. its different for my brother, i know he'll pick my dad without a doubt. he's also only 12. him picking my dad only makes things harder. i mean, im not sure when all this is gonna go down, and it probably wont be for a while knowing my mom.. but still. how can that be expected of me? choose your mom or dad?! idk =\


i dont want whoever is reading this to feel bad for me. im actually suprised i wrote all this, and this much. because im not one to talk about things. but i guess i was bored & im hope at 1130 after work and had nothing better to do. before i go, ill leave with this awesome quote from: the perks of being a wallflower:


" i think that if i ever have kids, and they are upset, i wont tell them that people are starving in china or anything like that because it wont change the fact that they are upset. and even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesnt really change the fact that you have what you have. good and bad."


werddddddd. thats all.
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[01 Aug 2005|07:54pm]
define the word friend.



it will amuse me.
(1) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[31 Jul 2005|01:18am]
i'm on fire

& now i think i'm ready

to bust a move.

check it out

i'm rockin steadyy
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[23 Jul 2005|10:50am]
i'm not okay.
(2) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

weird. [21 Jul 2005|12:57am]
[ mood | weird ]

so, tonight i'm on the way home from work. all happy because we got out at 10:15 & crap. and i call my mom to let her know, no answer. & then dad picked up his phone all weird.

"whats up"

him: nothin too good.

" what happened?"

him: your brother got hit by a car.

woah. huge punch in the stomach. tears formed in my eyes. & like it was very weird. i panicked. my dad had to calm me down. its weird how we really neglect the people we care about the most. i dont really want to talk about it much because i kind of get upset. but yeah, tell the people you love that you love them - k?

look at me gettin all mushy & thoughtful. well its true, tomorrow isnt promised gangsTAa. ♥

(3) found hope was gone lead us thru this one

[17 Jul 2005|12:32pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

"the only one who can help is the one that isnt there"
dontmakeitharderthanitalreadyis





show last night = very good.

i need a boy. i really do, & its sad.

girls piss me off more&more every day.

just surrender is amazing
i reall am in love with them.
nD lYKE i tOtaLly luV hoMEtoWn AntHEm<333!!& no.

i want to go to the whashington township show tonight just so i can see steven jasko sing. it will be amusing.

lead us thru this one

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