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[27 Aug 2005|01:08am]
new livejournal.


add it (friends only).
1 | comment

[24 Aug 2005|12:35am]
1)Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
some shit from the gap.
2)Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
cherry pepsi, iced tea, cherry pepsi, iced tea
3)Last Time You Cried?
4)What's In Your CD Player:
new ETID
5)What's Under Your Bed?:
6)What Time Did You Wake Up Today:
7)Current Hair?:
a mess.
8)Current Clothes?:
some goodwill shirt and camo shorts
9)Current Desktop Picture?
10)Current Worry?:
nothing really.
11)Current Hate?
oh man...
12)Favorite Place To Be?:
joe's house.
13)Least Favorite Place?:
any nursing home.
16)How Tall Are You?
5'10 or 11
17)Favorite random quote?:
Shake: I got rid of my teeth at a young age because I'm straight, teeth are for gay people.
Meatwad: If teeth make me gay then sign me up, 'cause I wish I had them
18)One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:
19)Favorite Day?:
I don't know.
20)Where Would You Like To Go?:
i'm not sure, england looks pretty gnarly. oh wait, paris. definetely.
21)Where do you want to live when you get married?:
probably somewhere where the population isn't mostly cannibals.
22)Favorite food?:
23)Color of most clothes you own?:
24)Number of pillows you sleep with?
25)What do you wear when you go to sleep?:
some clothes or something.
26)What were you doing 12AM last night:
sitting on the goddamn computer
27) If you could have anything you wanted for a pet, what would it be?
something really brutal that can fuck people up real bad, like a panther.
28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?:
i have no idea...
30)Are you paranoid?:
31)Do you burn or tan?:
burn like a bitch.
32)what is the brand of your wallet?:
whatever brand they sell in that rest stop where i got this badass wallet.
33)First piercing/tattoo?:
34)first enemy?
i don't know
35)Last person you yelled at:
36)Last crush?:
37)Last thing you ate?:
38)Last traumatizing event?:
the car wreck.
39)Fav animal?:
my bitchin' dog, rudie
40)Fav song?:
41)Fav flower?:
fuck flowers.
42)Fav person?:
muh cheeseball<3
43)Last person you called?:
44)Last person who called you?:
45)Best time of your life?:
this summer
4 | comment

[18 Aug 2005|03:55am]
i just watched the movie High Fidelity for like the hundreth time. I now have a second favorite movie, a close one, but Fight Club will never be topped.
There is no way to describe why i like this movie so much, except for a list (if you've seen the movie you know what i am talking about)

Top 5 Reasons Why I Like "High Fidelity":

1.) John Cusack

2.) Jack Black

3.) that weird bald dude that plays Dick.

4.) The one scene where Laura's father dies, and Rob says to Jack Black's character "Laura's dad just died..." and he responds with "Oh, drag." Ah, that kills me.

5.) All the list making that goes on.

so yeah, i'm a loser.

i'm tired.
but i can't sleep at all.
my mind is racing. and not because of anna at all. well, maybe a little. just thinking if she is going to call and ask me if i hate her again. i don't hate her at all, i feel no need to talk to her. if i did i would probably lash out on her at random.
i am so happy that the bulk of all this drama, etc. is over with her. all it did was weigh on my mind terribly to the point where i couldn't think straight about anything.

i also feel better that i moved on, and should have made the decision i am going to make soon a lot earlier.
moving on made me a much happier person. sure i bitch and complain about anna, but i have someone else who has completely surpassed her, and by a lot.
every second we talk i just have no worries or anything of the sort for those few moments.

this better all turn out well.
4 | comment

[17 Aug 2005|12:16pm]
Best Band Lyrically: Every Time I Die
Best Band Musically: the Number 12 Looks Like You
Best Band Live: the Number 12 Looks Like You
Best Singer: claudio of Coheed and Cambria
Best Screamer: jase/justin from the Number 12 or the guy from Cattle Decapitation.
First time you heard them you loved them: the Blood Brothers
Hottest Band: the Number 12.
Favorite Instrument: do vocals count as an instrument? if not then bass.
Favorite Band: all time? well of course, Nirvana.
Favorite CD: Bury Your Dead - Cover Your Tracks.
Favorite song: Every Time I Die - Bored Stiff
1 | comment

[12 Aug 2005|07:39pm]
check it..
i am over her, completely.
it wasn't worth all that hurt and stuff.
so i feel a lot better.

i would like to thank alex, kiley and chris especially. they are awesome friends and really helped me out.

anyway, TTLF practice tomorrow.
shit is gonna go down...hopefully.

hung out with hanratty today, and found a girl that thinks he is hot. no lie.
it's nuts.

things are going pretty good now.
6 | comment

[10 Aug 2005|03:38pm]
fuck that last entry, DELETE'D.

all you need to know is that the number twelve looks like you is probably the most amazing band, ever.

++oh, this is nothing for attenion.
this is not just so you fuckers will make me feel good.
i just need some help with all of this.
i really need some guidance.
please, someone.
3 | comment

[29 Jul 2005|10:43pm]
check it...

...Leave a comment with your name if you want to know what I really think of you, and I’ll reply and tell you. No lies, all honesty.

Post it in your journal after I do yours so I can see the reverse.
29 | comment

[27 Jul 2005|12:40am]


5 | comment

[20 Jul 2005|01:26pm]
i've seen family WAY too much this summer.
i'm about to kill 'em all.

OMFGLMAO FEST is monday, i'm pumped.
2 days after that is my birthday.
i expect you all to buy me presents.

well..that's all.
i was bored.

oh, and let my just tell you all that i am the happiest i have ever been, ever.
3 | comment

[16 Jul 2005|02:00am]
2:00 in the morning.
bored and tired.

i think i am going to pittsburgh today.
i really don't want to at all.

ian, tyrone, joe, etc. etc. have made my summer a total blast.
it's the best one in a loooooong while.

she is so indecisive that it has now made me the same.
sometimes i really can't take her.
someone else has come back to me.
this is making me feel terrible.
11 | comment

[13 Jul 2005|11:45pm]
i don't know anything anymore.
i need some guidance.
someone help out.
i want this more than you believe.


other than that i got a new cell phone today.
i love it.

yesterday ian had a little birthday bash for tyrone.
didn't go as well as planned but XFUCKDEADBABYCORPSEX rocked the house. hahaha.
i stayed over.
threatened joes life.
cuddled with joe.
annoyed everyone with joe.
today i got up about 3.
me tyrone and ian went over to tony's to get food.
lorenzo showed up, i finally got to meet him.

hopefully i'll make this work.
3 | comment

[07 Jul 2005|02:44am]
that last entry was a dud.
i was expecting a bunch of anonymous girlies that i don't even know that say "OMG U iZ s0o0 t3h h4wtZ0rZ!~~!~!"
it didn't happen.

i went to the village with anna, ian, and tyrone.
i love thrift stores.
especially the people in them.
and, i didn't know it was legal to sell underpants in a thrift store...
that creeped me out.

i enjoyed singing to tyrone. he is so gay for me i know it.

guess what?
i put myself in the same situation with the same person as i was earlier this year.
remember all that lj drama?
i sure do.
well damn, i don't know what i'm doing.
i guess a simple "go with da flow" is appropriate for something like this.
but, i think there are really meaning in certain words.
and i really really really really really don't like getting my hopes up.

5 | comment

[05 Jul 2005|10:21pm]
Post anything that you want but post it anonymously. Post anything: a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, your opinion about me...anything, but be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Then put this in your own LJ so you can see what others have to say to you
15 | comment

[05 Jul 2005|01:11pm]
stupid journal, i can't see that cat picture now.

well it fucking ruled.

so if you can't see it, you're missing out.
3 | comment

[03 Jul 2005|06:03pm]
first off, today is ian's birthday. so happy birthday ian, you fool.

i don't even remember the last entry.
but, i went to the carnival in sharpsville the other day.
and ew.
but mostly stupid.

friday? maybe...yeah i think.
small ships.
lots of fun.
a lot of drunken white trash.
a lot of joe/ian fights through pat catan's and downtown sharon in general.

yesterday was joe's house which was awesome.
i got to see the tyrone movies. i didn't get it at all. the only thing i got from it was tyrone likes to make out to hilary duff in the rain.
poop dick and the burning brown eyes played.
we sucked thanks to chris the fucking asshole who didn't show.
me and kyle got bored and wrote new shit too.
wrestling match to Andrew WK in his backyard.
more like...royal rumble.
blah blah blah whatever.

other stuff...
i don't know.
3 | comment

[24 Jun 2005|11:49pm]
no update.
since whenever.
that last entry was pretty weird to me.
i'm glad everyone gave me their input and everything.

well, things are going better. i mean, i still feel super lonely a lot, but i realized that i have really awesome friends. especially anna. the night of that post she called at 3 in the morning just to see if i was alright. and we talked all night. she helped a lot. a whole lot.

and i'm glad ian is back now. i love that motherfucker. he's just there for me, and all that awesome stuff. even though he bought me a $1 shark and retarded dolphin and though it was a gift...

i gave the dolphin to joe.

speaking of joe...i got his mom's number tonight. SCOREEEEE!

i've been talking to someone lately.
the just cheer me up with everything they say.
and make me feel super good about myself.
but i'm not sure what's going to become of it. i guess i will just wait and see.
9 | comment

[18 Jun 2005|02:11am]
once again, another 2 in the morning update.

i've realized life is pretty much a bunch of nothing revolving around nothing. sure, decisions we make all turn out to change something in the future, but we all end up in the same situation. maybe religion can help out? WRONG. no matter which god(s) you pray to, you will end up fucked in the end like everyone else, dead. and death is more nothing. at least you can live life. this all seems too obvious but i took a deeper look at it. i will probably stumble across things that will change my perspective on everything, but it won't matter. which leads me into this...

...love as much as you can. love and care about everything because it's the best non-tangible thing that you can hold on to before you kick the bucket. everyone wants to be loved so dearly. everyone needs to be loved. that's just how we function. i've realized love comes in every fucking shape, size, what have you. it's there. i am loved by people. that makes me happy.

see, that can also be reversed. people die because of love. people kill because of love. it is a twisting, hateful thing that ruins people. no one wants to see love end. and no one can do anything about it.

and people needs supreme attachments to others physically and emotionally, aka relationships. this is where my dilema runs through. well, i am a teenager that knows nothing about anything and hasn't seen the slightest bit of the real world yet. and doesn't mean shit. all people work at relationships, no matter the age.
and this is what fucks with me.
i seem to have problems with this. and i'm not coming from the "OOH I'M LONELY AND UGLY AND SAD, PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" standpoint. i just seem to not know what to do now. i'm stuck in a situation that has me worrying if i am here for anyone to be with. people come and go but i can't seem to stay with anyone, be it mine or their problems.

i complain too much about the same thing. i ramble too much about nothing.

i don't care at all if you didn't read one bit of this. it was totally spontaneous and probably makes zero sense.

fuck off.
15 | comment

[17 Jun 2005|02:09am]
[ mood | crappy ]

it's two in the morning. i don't know why i am updating. i really don't have any reason to.

that last entry was completely done out of nowhere when i just fucking blew my top. i don't know. i don't understand anything, it could get explained to me a million times and i still would not get it. it just seems so odd that it just kinda happened. i can't help but suspect something.

and now i don't know what to do. i don't if sitting and waiting would be the right thing. i don't know if i could move on, there is no one to move on to. i'm not relationship dependant, i just need something. i don't know understand. but i need something, something i can hold on to. something that i can have trust in. this has me so...fucked up. i don't know why. am i just rambling?

i said so many things. of course they were all true, but it feels like they are being used against me now. i hope i dont end up regreting it.

someone fucking help me out.

okay i'm done being a bitch.

sad to say, but i'm excited to got to the OLYMPIC FUN CENTER!! tomorrow. i think it will be funny as all hell.

i'm boring.
eat shit.

3 | comment

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