?

Log in

open-mouthed and mystified. [entries|friends|calendar]
.stiner.

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

this is the real shit. [14 Apr 2005|09:31am]
[ mood | flirty ]

mickey: "if you slit my throat with my lasp gasp of breathe id apologize for bleeding on your shirt."
cristina: :::jaw drops:::

OMG MICKEY IS LEARNING!!!! im so effin proud. gotta teach me the ghetto slang now.

today will be a good day... because i look pretty :)
i voluntered to help out at the science night at FSU. im so proud im actually going to do stuff. and free pizza.

i get my license at the end of the month. :DDD then i have to pimp my riiiiiiiiiiiide.

and wow today has been good :) i have all As as of right now... which is amazing. i just gotta maintain it.

so hyperrrr so happy :) i love AP English. what a weird group of girls.

blehh. i have to present my personal goal in about 5 mins. im nervous!! i know its good though :)

and wow its almost a year :x i feel like a grandma. i love you. thanks for being a part of both the best and worst moments of my life .

- roo face.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

i miss you. [31 Mar 2005|06:18pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i was reading my 9th gread autograph ghetto book thing... and wow.

colleen lu, you prob wont ever see this but i miss you dearly as a friend. hopefully one day we will pop into each others lives again. you had such a huge impact in my life and i was always so proud to say that YOU, future valedictorian of everglades 2006 graduating class was my best friend. i love you and i cant believe i let you leave my life without a fight. im giving you a call as soon as possible. hopefully we can make up for lost time. <33

danielle parra, wtf happened man??? i used to love being with you and hanging out. i guess we've both gone through some changes... and we have some guys in our lives now... eww how gay... who would have thought... but i just want it to be known that you have a huge place in my heart. you were always fun to hang out with and i felt as though i could relate to you on certain things. gosh give me a fucking call bitch! <33

melissa mohadeo (is that even spelled right?? what a terrible friend :/ ) you were like my other half... what the hell. i hate being at charter... im so far away from you guys... the only real friends ive ever had (plus a few from charter) i have so many dumb ass memories with you in them... i think you should become a lesbian because you are to wonderful for any man that i know. dont be afraid to call me either... i love and miss you. i hope all is well. <33

christie matheis, you are by far the goofiest girl ive ever met. i miss your weirdness. you made me feel as though it was okay for me to be a little weird sometimes lol you were a great friend with a good heart... i swear i could smack myself for not keeping in touch. if you are free sometime call... im sure you have a lot going on in life with cheerleading and shiz because thats how you always were... active and crazy. i love you hun. you'll always have a friend in me. <33

adrienne zamora, what can be said about you... ive known you since i was in 4th grade. you were one of the first kids i met when i moved to florida. you are a super cool girl with a good head on her shoulders. ive always admired you for that. you are brilliant and im sure you will do great in every aspect of anything because thats how you are. i miss you... and you live like two feet away. maybe we can hang out this weekend... or anytime soon. you are like the sweetest girl ive ever met. call me. <33


i miss the old times... i miss the laughs... i miss having my girls there.

when we just thought of guys as objects to satisfy our needs... well somethigns just dont change :) hah kiddingg

-stinerrr

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

made a date with divinity but she wouldnt let me fuck. [09 Mar 2005|10:08pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

love encourages stupidity in the worst way... so does revenge... and so does hurt.

another cold rainy day. its depressing as fuck. rainy days leave ample time to reflect... time i dont need. beautiful eyes, and scrupulous lies. random lines from songs always seem to stick in my head. i love hip-hop it puts me in sucha good mood... well that reflective mood that its okay to be in. the happy kind :)

watched aladdin today... which cheered me up a great deal. sleep also works wonders for a shitty mood. when you're awake and like that... time just seems to go by extra slow. ive been staring at the clock and its been 10:35 for what feels like an eternity. just fucking call me already!

that song ghetto musick by outkast is great. the video makes me smile :D and so does ludacris. gotta love that man.

-stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

i wanna go home! [04 Mar 2005|12:49pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

I would wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares. I couldn't even look at his face because I thought he was a different person. I had horrible pictures running through my head about what happened between him and her, and they made me feel really sick.

its so cold outside... its ridiculous.

-stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

Breathe in, breathe out, the sign says "keep out" [15 Feb 2005|07:54pm]
im tired of this journal. i was looking back on past entries and wow. its time to end it.

_allthatsnasty

add it now. i want my fucking paycheck already. :)

-stiner
But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

im not sleeping... im just resting my eyes. [10 Feb 2005|09:28am]
[ mood | roar. ]

please sew my eyelids shut, life is so much easier with closed eyes... but hey who wants simplicity??? ::raises hand:: meeeeee!! hah. its like, no matter how hard i try this shit will never go away. everrrr. why the fuck do i bother? just to fail... oh yeah because im stupid :) a normal person would have given up long ago... but when you're name is cristina alexis you look for excuses to keep on going. you even start to make things up. whatever will help you to rest your little coconut head at night. give you some sense of security that you arent fighting a losing battle. sometimes you just gotta let people go like my mama says. i refused to see that when she first said it, "nonononono mom i cant give up just yet" but now its becoming more clear. with each passing day i realize i know nothing at all. im going to hurl my cell phone at the effin wall. why why why go through this shit? because id do anything to reach that feeling. all just for that feeling... its so addictive...i need my fix and to reach it ya gotta make some sacrifices. jesus christ id do anything to keep that...but its like enoughs enough damnit. wake the fuck up. get that feeling elsewhere. and i can feel it... that knot in my throat does not lie... its still there... everything is and im djkghGOINGCRAZYdfjkghd!!!! just for once... i want to be happy... truely and genuinely... without all this motherfuckinghomo-ness. complete and utter exstacy. but hah thats always asking for too much. ill keep kidding myself as long as you keep playing along :) none of this ever happened... im just fine... lalalalala... shes my hero... thank you for opening my eyes. tough love is the best love and brutal honesty is always appreciated by buc nasty. thanks for keepin it real. and thanks for not treating me like some stupid fucking teenager... because you know im better than that. i hope i make you proud because living a lie is like not living at all right? only one person understands the madness. thanks. so ill speak with half words and you read in between the lines... i want whats mine... and i want it now. ill write the sentences and you try to interpret. theres nothing left. my brains turned to absolute mush and im just waiting for the liquid to ooze out my ears.


-stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

tryin to bend me over backwards but i aint having that. [04 Feb 2005|10:07am]
[ mood | cold ]

My baby girl is pregnant with a future m-a-c.
waiting for me to come back but the old judge aint tryin to hear that...

debate class can be interesting. ♥

-stiner.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

bite this bitch. [30 Jan 2005|10:34pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

new york = amazing. words just cant describe it... so here are pictures.

your mom goes to college.Collapse )
But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

relay for life. if interested please read!!! [24 Jan 2005|05:09pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

if you are for sure doing the relay for life thing comment in this entry because i have to report to these people tomorrow, because im leaving for new york on wednesday. so comment with your number screename or email or something so i can give you all the information. also i need a minimum of a 5 dollar donation from anyone who is doing it because there is a registration fee of 100 dollars and i am not paying that shit all by myself lol :) its due tomorrow. sorry for such short notice but i didnt realize that i wouldnt be going to school on wednesday. if you have any questions i/m me or call me :)

- madd love niggas <3
stiner baby.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

shit happens. [23 Jan 2005|03:02pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

dear god, please make the next few days go by quickly so that i may be in new york already.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

dear diary... waz up wit dem niggas??? [20 Jan 2005|03:24pm]
[ mood | cold ]

i start work at 6...
someone please gag me.

relay for life is getting insane. but ill do it in the name of getting me community service hours (and not to mention it makes me look good :D). if anyone is interested in getting community service hours PLEASE COMMENT because im starting my own relay for life team and i need 15 people to join and so far i have about 4. so holla you get like 20 service hours or something like that :). you dont have to go to charter to be a part of it (cough cough danielle melissa adrienne and christie cough cough)

andd another thing. i miss my old friends. people like brandi, nicole fernandez, kristen spotts, and everyone else i used to chill with wayyyy back in 10th grade. my new years resolution was to rekindle ALL old friendships so guys whenever you're free give me a jingle please. oh and im also in the mood for hanging out with new friends so if you wanna hang this weekend call a nigga up. 954-336-1662.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

so take a look at me now. [19 Jan 2005|06:33pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

its safe to say that im "out of my tree" as britty would so nicely put it :) i cant help it, ima fucking nutcase, but you love me anyway, and i dont get why.

the past few days have consisted of...

+ dyed hair that looks awesomeo.
+ getting a job = paper dollas.
+/- first day of work on thursday. 6:00-9:30.
- going to bartow for the weekend. ew never again.
+ getting fitted for my cousins sweet 16. the dress is b-e-a-u-t-f-u-l.
+ ending up with a B+ in AP american history.
+ leaving for new york soon. 4 days of awesome times soon to come.
- losing it.
- im going to smack the fucking shit out of my sister in about .05 seconds.
+ coldness.
+ eminem is great.
------ reading sparknotes for catcher in the rye. :(
- my lip hurts.
- blah blah blah emo.
- saw things i shouldnt have.
- memorizing this effin menu. damn asians.
+ its almost the weekend :D kinda....sorta.

catcher in the rye stuff. emo emo emoCollapse )</span>

jesus christ that sounds so familiar :( stupid catcher in the rye book. now im in a terrible mood. but eminems angryness makes me incredibly happy. i know this might not make sense to anyone... but being angry puts me at ease. it makes things so much easier to deal with.

Every time I think of youCollapse )

-stiner face.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

thank you for making me smile. [14 Jan 2005|03:36pm]
[ mood | blank ]

TEARSisworeiLOST: she shoulda faced paris hilton in the whore off
TEARSisworeiLOST: she woulda won
thatcristinagirL: lmfao


TEARSisworeiLOST: sick...its like u kno those black people from africa that make there lips bigger by putting disks in it
TEARSisworeiLOST: well she puts dicks in her cooch
thatcristinagirL: LMAO!
TEARSisworeiLOST: sick!


i love you brittney kelm with every fiber of my being. thank you i needed to laugh.

<3

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

when i think of you, it makes me wanna fucking gag. [11 Jan 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

keep thinking so low of me, its just more fuel to my fire baby.

you know, you're supposed to be able to count on your family, and man i sure can. -sarcasm :D- that shit is over now. you guys will no longer bring me down. i know better. its 2005, which brings me one year closer to life on my own. keep it up. throw more nasty and hurtful words my way :)

but on a happy note things are looking up for me. im content, for the first time in nearly two months. i have a lot of things going for me, so im going to do my best to focus on the positive and keep my head straight. things happen, the strong always recover, ending up stronger than they were before. no longer will i be looking back, because it hurts way too much to, even though every so often i get in that mood like "why god, why???" lol i know better now. no more depression. hurt makes you do crazy things, and it makes you feel emotions you know arent true (well okay maybe they are a little true). it drives you to over-analyze, and just feel so much hatred towards everyone, especially yourself and... just yeah im going to stop now. positiveness :) i know now that i have to accpet things for what they are, because i cant change whats already happened because if i could, believe me i would, in a million and one ways. all i can do is just focus on the future, its looking really bright, nothing like the blackhole ive been in for quite sometime. my grades have been phenomenal, (minus yucky midterms but it didnt affect my final grade so :p) im in love (yes sickening i know, it makes me gag every now and then but its nice sometimes) i have my best friend back (well sorta... shes so far away!) and i have amazing friends who are there for me in each and every way possible. yeah i bet you're jealous. :)

so now that im all cheery im going to go work on my tons of AP english work :( booo!

-stiner alexis.

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

i couldnt do it sorry. [06 Jan 2005|05:14pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

"i dunno, people are too dumb at this age... too arrogant. all they do is make all the wrong choices and they just hurt each other"

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

i came... i saw... i hit him right dead in the jaw. [04 Jan 2005|05:24pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

My 2004 in picturesCollapse )

<3stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

nigga please. [03 Jan 2005|02:23pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

i dont know, some people are just seriously sick, and i want nothing more to do with it. keep doing what you're doing, ill hand you the shovel while you bury yourself deeper.

my 2004Collapse )

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

blah blah bloop [29 Dec 2004|01:35pm]
im here at jennas house. this is the first time ive touched a computer since christmas eve. this break has been interesting to say the very least. my cousin nelson is in town which is the bestest :) :) :) christmas was good. everythings been peachy despite peoples attempts to bring me down. (dumb bitches) but yeah whatever pointless entry. im on my way to the mall now because my little sister wants to go waste her christmas money. ive been spending some quality time with jennita and the family. i missed them. ddr is the best game ever. i love hopping around and shiz :) well now i must change. peace and love hoes.

<3
But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

:) [24 Dec 2004|07:24pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

people are so dumb... but that doesnt matter because tomorrow is christmas :)

madd love to most of you people. and to the rest :x ill keep my mouth shut.

<3stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

why does hello feel like goodbye? [22 Dec 2004|02:56pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

i dont have to wake up at 6:00 a.m. for about two whole weeks. yay. im so happy, despite the fact that i probably did horrible on most of my midterms :( christmas is very close which is always great. i gotta finish shopping... waiting until the very last minute as always. tonight i believe im going to the culture room. i havent been to a show in ages, its about damn time, i need to get out of the house. i love my hair color so much! it faded so nicely and man for the first time in ages my hair has been behaving and its been looking so pretty. everyones like you looks so pretty blah blah bloop. wow that was random. im going to miss mrs. philips over break as weird as that sounds. i dont know, she motivates me and makes me want to become a better writer. thank god for her class <3 also thank god for my grandmother. she annoys me sometimes, but the talk she gave me not to long ago made it seem like im actually capable of making it through all of this. im quite grateful for that, i needed it.

boredom leads to crazy things. i hadnt been on microsoft paint in ages so i took random atmosphere lyrics and drew out the scene. so here they are, because i enjoy displaying my artwork ;) there are also some random ones up in thurr.

she closed her eyes and she gently bit her bottom lipCollapse )

man i was getting so tired of those serious/emo entries. :o) its time to just enjoy life. i mean theres no more school, ive got no reason to be down.

-stiner

But A Bitch Aint One 99 Problems

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]