Meredith Wilkie has died. She was my friend. I loved her.
I can't believe this happened to her, of all people. She was truly an original soul. She cast off societal norms, and she really didn't give a fuck what people had to say about it. She was sarcastic and beautiful and completely unique, and she did things she cared deeply about. Literature. Bikes. Wine. Running. Music. So many things.
I remember, back in high school, I had a crush on her. I told her about it. And even though it made her slightly uncomfortable, she stood unflinching and continued to love me as a friend. All the way until yesterday afternoon.
That girl cared about people deeply. Once, it took her years and years to finally shed herself of a poisonous relationship... Simply because she was so loving.
And I remember once, she gave me her turtle because she couldn't keep it any more. I kept it for a few weeks, but eventually became so disturbed by its captivity that I let it go in a pond near my house. She came over after another few weeks, and wanted to visit her turtle. I had to tell her. She cried. But she forgave me. I can't believe she fucking forgave me. I should've told her I was going to do it. But I'm a huge idiot. And she was amazing.
I think the last time I saw her, in person, was at the Harry Potter premiere. We hugged. And we stood around and talked as the people kept pouring into theaters around us. I'll never be able to do that with her again.
I can't believe I missed her birthday party this year. I could've seen her one more time. You'll never know how much I'm going to regret that. I already regret it much more than I can stand.
But I'm sure it's much worse for her boyfriend, and her parents, and people like James and Leah that were much closer to her. She was an only child. Her parents will be completely devastated. And lost. Oh my god, I can't even imagine what they're going through right now. It's too terrible to think about. Their only child gone, at 24.
None of my close friends has ever died before. I never imagined young, amazing people like Meredith could die. I thought we'd still be twitter friends for years and years. Each silently giggling at the others silly posts.
She was so. fucking. brilliant. She was so talented. She could write like no one else I knew. I hope one day I will be able to write beautiful things like she did.
Ya know... at least it was nature that took her. And not... Some douchebag in a car hitting her bike or something. I always worried about that with her. She biked a lot. She got hit at least once. People are terrible and prone to accidents.
At least nature doesn't have to give excuses for its actions.
I remember one time, around Christmas, as she was coming out of symphony practice holding her clarinet, I ambushed her under the mistletoe and kissed her cheek. She stood frozen for a second, completely shocked. It was a brilliant moment of confusing human emotions.