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LokiSuicide

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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2005|01:28 pm]
LokiSuicide
sorry.
i'm just a bitch is all.
it tends to seep around the nice veneer when nothing is working out.

everytime i listen to this song i KNOW its time to leave... but i can't.
so i'm a little dark, a little cynical... sorry to disappoint you - I am not at all good at this...

just remember its my madness and not my mind and when this all sorts itself out, I may be me again.
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(no subject) [Sep. 18th, 2005|10:15 pm]
LokiSuicide
wow.

life can get so fucked so fast...


if only i had known to do everything differently......

do you ever have those days where you sit and trace all of the problems in your life back to one crucial decision that you just FUCKED UP ON completely? Yea... its own of those. evything would be different and i'd still be the same... instead of evrything being the same.... and I don't even know what i want.

hahahahahahahahahaaaaa

none of this needs to make sense, don't worry.


*sigh*
I miss that damn boy. Fuck.

oh well, what do i matter anyway? heheheheheheee
blarg.


so yea. see you all around.
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Let it bleed... [Jul. 19th, 2005|03:17 pm]
LokiSuicide
... 'cause I will not play dead so you don't have to feel.
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Not like anyone cares but... [Jul. 11th, 2005|09:49 pm]
LokiSuicide
[mood |annoyedpeeved]
[music |Dresden Dolls "Bad Habit"]

I bleed myself so I don't drink their blood.
I cut myself so I won't kill.
I hurt myself so they can't hurt me.
I don't need the goddamn pills.
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oh Family Guy! [Jul. 11th, 2005|04:19 pm]
LokiSuicide
Peter: That was good! That was even funnier than the one where Anus got the hamster stuck in his mouth!
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"Mulder, the truth is out there. But so are lies!" [Jun. 20th, 2005|09:06 pm]
LokiSuicide
Don't have to tell me twice. *sigh*
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(no subject) [Jun. 15th, 2005|12:01 pm]
LokiSuicide
[music |VAST]

you are the only thing that makes me want to love at all


how scary is it that I only now realized I've been at the bottom of a depressive cycle for weeks? not just sinking, sunk. I have been treating myself with my drug of choice, trying to smoke away all the screaming & tearing inside... and now I have pulled a muscle in my back from coughing so much... it hurts to breathe & to stretch & most of all, to cry...

I have never been a very good person and I am starting to get sick of it costing me people I care so much about.

I'M SO SORRY, I NEVER MEANT TO DO ANY OF THIS, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
please, don't hate me...

I HATE YOU!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? DON'T YOU CARE AT ALL? WAS IT ALL BULLSHIT THEN? YOU TOOK PITY ON ME? FUCK YOU!!!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU...
but only because I love you...
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(no subject) [Jun. 14th, 2005|10:55 pm]
LokiSuicide
[mood |blankblank]
[music |VAST - Here]

hold me now
you know I am so afraid to be
at all


'cause if I am real I cannot be silent & silence is golden when pain is so loud
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(no subject) [Jun. 2nd, 2005|12:50 am]
LokiSuicide
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[music |Dresden Dolls "Good Day"]

probabbly in the best mood I have been for the past few weeks... just rocked out totally to this song, focused all my frustrations and such and now... well things are looking kinda up at the moment actually. amazing how good it feels just to get it all out.

have a good night all
*loves*
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tagged! [May. 30th, 2005|10:35 am]
LokiSuicide
1. Number of books owned – 200 give or take
2. Last book I bought – Kushiel's Avatar - Jacqueline Carey
3. Last book I read – Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams
4. 5 books that mean a lot to me:
A. Fionavar Tapestry trilogy - Guy Gavriel Kay
B. American Gods - Neil Gaiman
C. The Kushiel Trilogy - Jacqueline Carey
D. The Onion Girl - Charles de Lint
E. Innocence - Jane Mendelsohn
5. Tag 5 people and have them fill it out:
kesrelsuicide
lezlie420
syren96
angel_thane
delapidator
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