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Oops! There Goes Another Rubber Tree Plant!
One Ant's Adventures in Plant-Lifting
Serenity/BtVS Xover: "Out of The Blue" (1/1), 500 words 
9th-Sep-2009 01:46 am
Grouphug
Don't ask where it came from, 'cause I dunno. Except for from the prompt. You hear that, Groupmum? I'm blaming you, again.

Out of The Blue. . . .(1/1)
Author: _beetle_
Fandom: Serenity/BtVS
Characters: The Serenity crew, and a couple of surprises.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Notes: Set post-BDM, and, obviously, well post-NFA. Very vague spoilers for both series and the BDM. Implied slash.
Summary: River watches and is watched by two passengers. Written for the slashthedrabble prompt watch.




They're . . . different.

River reckons that's why she watches them at mealtimes, though it could be that the truths she reads on faces are far stranger than the bland lies they tell.

Her? their doubtful eyes ask whenever they glance at River, cautious and curious, two jaded cats distracted mid-hunt.

*


When Serenity makes planetfall, Mssrs. Idol and Tiberius tend not to take any sun with t'other passengers. Ain't regular.

('Cording to Mal, ain't a gorramn thing wrong with ain't . . . anyone says different's just talkin' out their pigu, even and 'specially if it's Simon talking.)

But irregular don't mean not a thing but what it means, and what is means . . . is anachronistic. Outmoded, like whispering gold-blue and gold-brown eyes, and feral, secret faces.

*


They make friends fast and easy.

The blond, Mr. Idol, gets on well with Jayne--and Kaylee's taken a shine to his impeccable darkness that Simon don't approve of.

The other, Mr. Tiberius, gets on with everybody. He reminds them all, even Zoe (who mostly avoids him) of Wash.

Only.

There was a light inside Hoban Washburn, River could tell them. It was warm, like hearth-fire. Mr. Tiberius's light is cold and old, like the memory of dead stars. He was Wash before Wash was Wash, but he gorramn ain't Wash.

In the end, she holds her peace.

The only people more excitable than the dead about such things are the living.

*


The air 'round them tastes of myrrh and copper, of buried secrets unearthed. Ways and means that bear no meanin' in this 'verse of numbers and causal chains.

Ain't no demons, here . . . only Reavers. Possessed of no more magic than any human reduced to several natures below beast.

Ain't a need for demons when there's Reavers.

*


One mealtime:

Mr. Idol is charming the table with a story that's at least sixty-three point five seven four percent lies. River sneaks a glance at Mr. Tiberius--Kirk, as he says to call him.

Anomaly.

Kirk usually watches Mr. Idol when Mr. Idol is being charming, not River. At these times, the heart Kirk no longer has . . . beats. Glows.

There's an unsubtle, hammering wrongness to them, so blatant that it causes an itch on River's skin, on the skin of the entire 'verse. It follows that:

Kirk is wrong because Mr. Idol is wrong, and so they will always be wrong, because they will always be wrong.

Spike, look, Kirk breathes, so soft River can only taste it on the air, like ashes and blood.

Mr. Idol's gaze finds and lingers on her face for a moment. Marks her forever.

And they are, it seems, now watching her back.

Her? Slay her? they both wonder silently, and River turns her attention back to her half-eaten bao, the shine of a blooded ax in her mind. She corrects them.

No. Her? Slayer.

'Cause ain't no force in the whole gorramn 'verse.

*


Mssrs. Idol and Tiberius--and their fancy luggage--fetch up lost somewhere in New Dunsmuir. It's a cause for wonder, and more'n a head-scratch, but like Mal says, least they paid in advance, and left before they brung the law down.

At the pilot's station, surrounded by dinosaurs, River smiles.

“. . . and into the Black.”

She and Serenity break atmo.
Comments 
9th-Sep-2009 06:20 am (UTC)
Strangely, these verses seem to fit so well together. *I love this.* It makes me want to finish my own abandoned crossover of these verses.
13th-Sep-2009 01:09 am (UTC)
DUDE!

FINISH THE CROSSOVER OR I'LL ONLY TYPE TO YOU IN CAPS FOREVER AND EVER. AND EVER!

OH, AND THANK YOU :D
9th-Sep-2009 06:21 am (UTC)
Well hell, you can blame me for this any time. :D

Love it! As soon as I saw the names Idol and Tiberius I knew who it had to be: one bleached blond vampire and his geek. ♥

Now, shoo! Go post in StD so I can tag it properly when I wake up sometime tomorrow afternoon.

(Gods, I should have been in bed almost two hours ago, but I've been wrangling misbehaving manifestos over at ship_manifesto and I have a new layer of loathing around my heart for MSWord and its crappy hidden code.)

*YAAAAAAAAWNS*

Now I'm off to dream of Spander in Space and River as their pet Slayer. HA!
9th-Sep-2009 06:22 am (UTC)
Ha! I hit send on this, then refreshed my flist one last time, and there it was, all pretty at StD. *smooches*
13th-Sep-2009 01:05 am (UTC)
Consider yourself blamed. For everything! I'm sending my therapy bills to you, C/O The Country of England. So there.

Spander . . . in SPAAAAAAAAACE. . . .

Hee! Spike and Xander as River's Watcher . . . hah, they'd have to fight Mal and Simon, first :)

Nothing can beat Mal's tight pants.

MS Word is the very devil, mum, no mistake about that. Try Open Office. It's not as swanky as MSW, but overall, I like.

And I'll check out your comm, too. But only so I can later mock you for having interests outside of StD and BC. Prepare for mockery!

13th-Sep-2009 01:18 am (UTC)
I use MSWord, but I always handcode my html and save as txt files so the demoncode can't sneak in. The problem is other people using it, and then posting their stuff in my places and making it all messy and fouled up.

Did you know that MSWord hidden code can break an lj-cut? Not stop it working, but terminate the cut partway through the posty, leaving things like, oh, for completely random example, a graphic of the cast of Family Guy all in basques and fishnets outside of a perfectly coded cut?

That was what I was fighting when I made that comment. *SPORKS MS WITH MALICE*

As for the comms. Ha! You obviously have no idea. StD and BC were just the start. The current list looks a little like this:

bloodclaim (+bc_updates)
gpfg_studios
ship_manifesto
slashthedrabble
slashtheimage <- sister comm! Cos I had so many cool/freaky/weird/inspirational pics I had to share
spn_betas (Gods know, somebody had to do it!)
we_love_damian (With Suki)
we_love_dick (With Suki)
whedonverse_nb (+whedon_updates)

*uses Simpsonsesque icon because IT'S SO TRUE!*
13th-Sep-2009 01:21 am (UTC)
Also, therapy schmerapy. That's what writing's for! Exorcise those demons in fic; let someone else suffer for your sins. :D

*loves on Cap'n Tightpants*
9th-Sep-2009 07:54 am (UTC)
Ooh, very nice.
13th-Sep-2009 01:07 am (UTC)
Why thankees :D

Spander's like the big "RIGHT" of fandom for me. To paint them as right for each other, but so, so wrong, so alone and out of place in the universe--the last of a dying breed. . . .

Oh, teh ahngst.
9th-Sep-2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
Aahhhhhh, so neat. Sad and a little lonely, but still very...good. Together, and that's good.

Kirk!
:)
13th-Sep-2009 01:14 am (UTC)
Last of a dying breed, our boys. No purpose or place in the 'verse, anymore. The hunting is too easy, like hunting in a preserve. There are no challenges, no apocalypses, and no Slayers or Watchers. Their unlives are mostly about distraction and killing time.

But hell, I'd think they've been bored since the Unification, at least. And even the Slayer--a Slayer is warning them off, rather than battling them. She's got bigger fish to fry than two vampires. Poor guys :/

Icon? Dude. Win.
13th-Sep-2009 02:53 am (UTC)
They truly are. Sometimes, eternity is boring. Heh.

And i love that icon. I don't follow the comics at all, but some of the art is utterly amazing.
*smish*

:)
9th-Sep-2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Hee hee!

*giggles and claps*

You River was excellent, and the style really fit her point of view. And of course Spike and Xander are still together.

It's in the bible.

~Alice~
13th-Sep-2009 01:29 am (UTC)
::bows::
::is made of win::
::and of marshmallow::

The Book of Vampyres, 1,5: And lo! Ye shall have no other pairing before Spander. It is teh alpha and teh omega, teh pr0n and teh funny, teh beginning and teh ending. And ye=ou shall go out among the peoples, and into the desert places, and be fishers of fangrrls. The Whedon be with you.

Sometimes, I have a little too much free time.
::hugs::
1st-Feb-2010 05:42 am (UTC) - And also with you.
Amen and amen!
9th-Sep-2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
I loved the ebb and flow of this lyrical piece. River watching Spike and Xander, knowing how wrong they are was breathtaking, and I enjoyed their little name joke that nobody will ever get. This was a seamless meshing of these two 'verses. Nice work.
13th-Sep-2009 01:25 am (UTC)
Wow--jeebus, your fb was better than my fic, lol.

To River, their wrongness isn't about the demon, or death, or even killing (though she'd totally dust them if they threatened her family--even Jayne), it's about the fact that they simply don't fit anymore. They belong in the 'verse less than a horse-drawn wagon. They're the lonely leftovers of a bygone age. The 'verse has problems enough with Reavers. Don't need demons.

I like to think the name thing was all Xander's idea, and he sexed Spike into it. But half the time, Spike doesn't even realize people mean him when they call him "Mr. Idol".

Plus, Xander's always slipping and calling him "Spike". . . .
10th-Sep-2009 03:13 am (UTC)
I love this. Of course River is a Slayer. That was amazing. Tiberus. *snorts* Awesome. *g*
13th-Sep-2009 01:17 am (UTC)
Thank you!

Of course Xander wouldn't settle for just "James" or "Kirk". And you know he badgered Spike into being "Mr. Idol".

She's a Slayer for a whole new 'verse. One that, for better or worse, is mostly bereft of demons.
10th-Sep-2009 08:50 am (UTC)
Very nice. Thanks for posting.
13th-Sep-2009 01:16 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading :)
13th-Sep-2009 03:52 am (UTC)
Lovely work! Most of all, I like this bit: There was a light inside Hoban Washburn, River could tell them. It was warm, like hearth-fire. Mr. Tiberius's light is cold and old, like the memory of dead stars. He was Wash before Wash was Wash, but he gorramn ain't Wash. That's just plain gorgeous on the tongue and in the mind.
18th-Sep-2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
I love fics from River's POV when they are well done, and this is wonderful.

I can imagine Spike and Xander must have been pretty shocked to encounter a slayer, and yes, I love River as a slayer.

This is a great fic.
1st-Feb-2010 05:43 am (UTC)
ICON LOVE!
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