I'm going to try to update more, I have just been so busy...believe it or not lol. Songwriter's was fun last night, I kept having laughing spasms on the mic, haha. It was very random last night, lol. Paul's song has to be my absolute favorite Christmas song...and Eric's "I Hate Christmas" one. Boy oh boy, I love that group.
OMG, today I have been trying to boost my confidence, well I have been trying for a while but today i took action. I saw Jeff randomly playing gutair in the hall and I was like why not start talking to people i don't talk to much so I can get use to talking to people? So I said while passing him, "O yea, that's real sexy Jeff." and he laughed and said Thanks lol. And then it will be Harry who i talk to, which will be easy because I have a plan lol, yes a plan to talk to Harry...his staring is creepy me out and I just need to make the weirdness go away. I also talked to AJ randomly, lol, i asked him if he neeeded help with the drums. I'm so proud of myself, lol. But I think the main reason I'm trying to boost up my confidence is for AB, i want to talk to him again. And if we can't pick up from where we left off, why can't we start over? Either way I need to talk to him. Everyday I go without talking to him I kick myself and I wonder..."What would have happened if i talked to him TODAY?" I keep asking myself the same questions and I'm going crazy without the answers so I'm going to make the answers happen. And I don't think I even care about gettting embaressed anymore. I just need my questions answered...and hopefully start over, or pick up from where we left off. I just need to close this part of my life, the depressing, questioning myself, and kicking myself all the time part of my life. I really think I'm still in love with him. The other day I heard his name and I got butterflies in my stomach. And i was walking behind him today and I looked at the back of his hand and silently asked Why? i can't stop thinking aobut him, and I wrote him a letter...but i think i'm going to try to start talking to him before i give him it.
OMG me and Angela were walking down C hall after school yesterday and Harry is walking all by himself and once we spotted him we stopped talking, lol. We always try to say hi so this weirdness can stop but it always ends in akward silence. Okay, so the way we look at him makes it look like we are really nervous and OMGish, which looks like we like him. But we really don't, yea he is good looking, but please...he's to extreme for me. lol. So while he walked past us he laughed. lol. Not a laughing at us laugh but a aww it's so cute how these girls like me and act so shy around me laugh. It's so funny how he thinks we like him so much. I saw him in the weight room today, omg. First time we looked in he saw us and then the second time i am speaking loudly while approching the weight room and I said" I look dead on, right into the weight room!" ANd when I looked in Harry was standing right near the doorway and I looked in and I think he heard me, lol. He had a confused look on his face. HAHA.
Well well, I'm am going to the Inkwell soon with a bunch of random people, I can't wait! WOO HOO! lol.