|Cross Posted to my new BLOG
So I have finally kicked myself and since I can't use "taking my attention away from my "art blog" which I never update anyways, I have started How To Go Lightly, Because I want to blog about art, fashion, news, pop culture and the like, I think of it as good practice for my future venture with Jes *wink wink*.|
I think I'll continue to cross-post entries from there into this journal so you don't have to click all over the place to keep up...
So I am going to write it sitting on my pink couch in my even pinker apron, listening to Le Tigre and waiting for my Gluten Free/Vegan Self-Birthday Cupcakes to finish baking (second batch) so I can put my terrible Vegan-Banana Icing on them.
Patrick took me Birthday Present Shopping yesterday and since the bathrooms at The Rideau Center are disgusting I opted for Chapters, as I was waiting around outside I happened upon this BOOK in the humour section (Which for some reason Chapters has put right outside the bathroom)...
"Friend or Faux: A Guide to Pity Junkies, Creepy Clingers, Shallow Scenesters, and Other Girls Who Will Quietly Destroy Your Life" by Heather Wagner
The author I'm sure has the best of intentions, but I always have an issue with bad advice whether it's marketed as humour or not.
This book outlines types or friends, in a way which, although pigeon-holey is somehow fairly succinct and doesn't go too into depth.
My issue comes not with the way the author categorizes these friends into "Terrorist Threat Colour" categories, but the ones the puts where.
Low threat friends in this book are vapid, flaky and un-infections characters, where as more career-driven self-assured types seemed to be in the higher threat category. Annoying things include talking about DIY as annoying and weird but I guess to each their own... you wouldn't want to get glue on your new Choos, after all...
I'm not going to bother going into a tirade about this book since I only briefly skimmed it, what it make me think of is some of my less (according to this book) "safe" friends and how I think about them, and how they might be friends that you have too but haven't figured out how to appreciate:
The Friend who has the Same Food Allergies as you Friend: This friend is pretty awesome, mine shows up some times and makes me dinner, will taste bizarre "gluten-free-vegan-mud" tasting things that I try and cook, and understands why I'm picky about restaurants.
The Lives Far Away and Likes the Same Stuff as you Friend: I have three of these, soon to be four. I'm not a very good correspondent but I'm trying. These Friends are great for sending you stuff from where they are that they know you will like, and vice-versa. They are pretty great because since you don't see them too often you always have something wicked to catch up on and share. You also get to pick out things that remind you of them so that when you hear a Sarah Harmer or eat a giant sandwich you are filled with happy memories.
The (probably) Older than you who may or may not have made the same Mistakes you Might Make who you can Look up to Friend: Mine also has the benefit of having a really awesome attitude towards life (she'll know this is her because I told her so). So she's someone I feel like I can learn a lot from. I know she isn't perfect either and she makes me feel like I can be less afraid to try new things.
The Loud Center of Attention Friend: Personally I think these are awesome, especially if you need to go to a party where you don't know anyone. If she is more out-going then you are, you might meet EVERYONE and if you're not out-going, that's probably a good thing. I find this girl is as good at diffusing awkward social situations than she is at causing them and hey, it's all about balance.
The Married Friend: So she's totally busy and pre-occupied since the engagement/wedding... that's what email/facebook is for. I learned a lot about how I feel about marriage in general and since this friend is my age it changed my perspective on both the serious and non-serious parts of marriage. In a good way, in the 5 or so hours I spent at the wedding...
The "Boyfriend/Girlfriends's Gal-Friend" Friend: I am lucky to finally have a boyfriend who A) doesn't bitch about me to his friends, and B) Isn't insecure (not very anyways) about me being friends with them. The key to the "boyfriend/girlfriend's gal-friend" is time. One-on-one time, and alone time. You have to see these people as their own wicked-gal self rather than an accessory to your couple-dom or someone to be threatened by (they are often also threatened by you). And one-on-one time needs to apply to both you and them and your boy/girl and them (since they were theirs first).
I think the thing that made me the maddest about this book, yes "maddest" was that it ranked friends by their quantitative value to you. As a rule, you should probably surround yourself with people you LIKE. And a lot of that is YOU being a good friend to THEM. No friend is going to screw you over just because they are a busy Lawyer or kind of a "Slut".