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December 12th, 2017

11:42 pm - I want to be one
Yikes the rest of this week I have holiday/social engagements, then I go on-call starting Saturday night, so I'd better squeeze out a few more days of the December meme while I have time!!

December 07 → talk about music this year:
Since I love to travel, I usually try to make it to a music festival every year, but this year I didn't have to go far... just to Dallas for Convergence XXIII to see my favorite band :D Hmmm I'd say the new album I played most this year was Lionhearts, I'm looking forward to the remixed version coming out in a few weeks... I need some new music. :p

December 08 → talk about games this year:
Ummmm nothing. I haven't played a game on my xbox since I finished the Borderlands pre-sequel two years ago. I loved that whole series though, if they ever come out with another one I would definitely play it.

December 09 → talk about art this year:
I don't produce any art of my own. I'm about as unimaginative and left-brained as you can get. I have all kinds of artistic and creative friends, I'm in awe of their talents, really... and frankly a tiny bit jealous too.

December 10 → a photo of you taken over ten years ago:
Two terrible low-quality pics from summer 2004ish**. I think the first photo is at Sin 13/Atomix, and the second one is at the Flying Saucer? I chose these two photos because they both have sacredwater in them, and because I still keep in touch with all of these people, after all these years. :)

Marina, me, Susan, Phox, Megan
**LOL I dated these pictures by my hair color. My hair has been every color of the rainbow but was only black for a short time in 2004.

December 11 → talk about volunteering/charity this year:
I fostered rescue pets for the Animal Defense League. I signed up after Hurricane Harvey because I wanted to do something for my hometown of Houston... I got one litter of hurricane rescue kitties in September, and another litter during peak kitten season in October. I'll definitely do it again once my schedule is back to normal (I timed my foster sessions during my off-call three weeks, so I'd have more time to spend with them). My cat Kaiser *loved* having playmates to chase around the house. I might even consider a puppy? (maybe, I've never had one before)


December 12 → talk about this year in medical news:
As far as I know, I'm healthy as a horse. No complaints except my worsening vision. My grandparents all drank and smoked and ate lard happily into their 90's, I hope I'm so lucky.

The rest of the meme...Collapse )
Good night, sleep tight xoxo
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Paramore - Still into you

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December 6th, 2017

01:08 am - I'm a kook in the kitchen
Up late prepping dinner for ladies' nite Wednesday.... so I'll chip away at zhelana's meme while everything is in the oven! :D

December 01 → a picture of you taken this year:
ummm the last selfies of me on my phone are from the bathroom at Hanzo a month ago. (it is a really awesome bathroom)


December 02 → your holiday wish list:
Tangible/material items? None. I've gotten rid of much more this year than I purchased. I'm in a downsizing mood. I don't really collect anything (except maybe CDs); I don't even buy souvenirs when I travel anymore. My siblings and I agreed many years ago that we wouldn't exchange obligatory holiday presents; the real gift is just to spend time with them. :) I still buy gifts for the nieces/nephew and mom; I'm thinking about buying mom one of those DNA/Ancestry kits for Xmas, I think she'd really like it.

December 03 → talk about movies this year:
Ummm I really enjoyed Blade Runner? And I'd like to see Guillermo Del Toro's the Shape of Water sometime this month. My pal HG and I crashed Fantastic Fest back in September. And for Paul's Xmas present I bought the two of us tickets to see Master Pancake this coming Saturday, I'm very excited about it.

December 04 → talk about television this year:
I watch very little TV, I should just cut off my cable (I know I already promised I would do this). Ladies' night is technically "tv night" at my house because we run some program in the background while we eat and drink wine (this year we watched Fargo, American Gods, and Project Runway) but the rest of the week my TV is rarely turned on. I do love Game of Thrones (even though they killed my favorite character, Littlefinger). I've finally started watching Stranger Things during slow times of my on-call nights.

December 05 → talk about books this year:
GRRR. I started 2017 SO STRONG, reading a book a week! But I fizzled out and disappointed myself. I'm always buying books and half reading them... I put them down for a few days, then forget where I was, and have to start all over again. I'll probably renew this resolution come the first of the year, mom usually gives me a few books at Christmas.

December 06 → talk about food this year:
I'm an amateur vegetarian. My biggest obstacle is my roomie, who is a committed carnivore, and who constantly criticizes my choice. I always consider it a huge success when I cook a vegetarian meal the roomie approves of!! I've struggled with dairy (giving up cheese is harder than giving up meat) but I did successfully replace my yogurt addiction with KOMBUCHA, which I looove, and I bottled my first home-made kombucha batch a week ago!! :D

the rest of the meme...Collapse )

AH!! Perfect timing!! The veggies for tonight's dinner are finished roasting and it's time to assemble my casserole. Gotta run XOXO

Current Mood: busy busy busy
Current Music: Monarchy - Almost Human

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December 3rd, 2017

11:52 pm
zhelana's December meme, for those of you who need suggestions (like me, I'm rusty)

December 01 → a picture of you taken this year
December 02 → your holiday wish list
December 03 → talk about movies this year
December 04 → talk about television this year
December 05 → talk about books this year
December 06 → talk about food this year
December 07 → talk about music this year
December 08 → talk about games this year
December 09 → talk about art this year
December 10 → a photo of you taken over ten years ago
December 11 → talk about volunteering/charity this year.
December 12 → talk about this year in medical news
December 13 → talk about hobbies this year
December 14 → something that made you proud this year
December 15 → something that made you laugh this year
December 16 → something that made you sad this year
December 17 → something that made you happy this year
December 18 → your favorite photo this year
December 19 → what you learned this year
December 20 → a picture of you taken over 20 years ago
December 21 → your favorite websites this year
December 23 → travel you did this year
December 24 → Something which caught your interest this year
December 25 → a photo of you and your family
December 26 → talk about politics or current events this year
December 27 → 3 goals for next year
December 28 → your plans for New Years Eve
December 29 → talk about things you are excited for next year
December 30 → a list of what you got for your winter holiday
December 31 → best moment of the month

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November 30th, 2017

02:48 pm - Hold your breath and count to three
Well, I missed the traditional Happy-Thanksgiving post, so I hope you had wonderful family time. I usually work on Christmas instead of Thanksgiving, but this year my holidays were swapped, so I had Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house and then immediately started my on-call week. I am very sad about not having Thanksgiving leftovers all weekend!! I am far behind my usual annual intake of pumpkin pie. And yes, while everyone loves to rank pies, there is no question in my mind that PUMPKIN PIE REIGNS SUPREME ABOVE ALL OTHER KINDS OF PIE (this is not negotiable), so I must work on satisfying my quota next week.

My pre-Thanksgiving spontaneous vacation to Charleston with my mother was delightful. Mom and I hadn't taken a vacation together since 2014 (Prague-Budapest-Vienna), and unless things change this may be the last big trip we take together. She's 76 now and in great health, but she had a back injury last year that laid her up for six months, and she's never fully recovered her strength. She walks flat surfaces pretty well but gets tired very easily. Most days on our vacation we would get up for a big breakfast, go do something touristy, then come back in the afternoon for her to nap/rest before a fancy early dinner. I'd be off after dark to explore on my own (no biggie, Charleston has a incredible cocktail/rooftop evening scene downtown). She's promised she will ask her doc about a short course of physical therapy at her next appointment, I think she would definitely benefit from it.


Oh but back to Charleston, what a surprise. I didn't really know much about the city before we left (I read the tour guide on the plane). But the historical district on the peninsula is about a mile across, and about 1.5miles north-south, so everything is very walkable (we didn't rent a car). The weather was clear and in the 60's. We were kind of in-between the prettiest tourist seasons (not all the summer flowers were still blooming, but the Christmas decorations weren't up yet). If I ever go back again, I would go a month earlier or later, plus I'd add in a day trip to Savannah (only 90 miles away) and the beach at Hilton Head (30 minutes). You could easily spend a week in the region.

(so many pictures to upload but I must get ready for work! More later)
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What is AMAZING about Charleston is how well preserved it is.... the city of Charleston was founded on a charter of religious freedom (they had no puritans) so there are pretty old churches every few blocks (even the only French Huguenot church in North America). In the early 1900's they passed a law saying that no building downtown could be taller than a church spire, so the tallest buildings are only seven floors high (the best rooftop bars are there). Also any building 75 years or older cannot not be torn down.... if damaged by termites or hurricane it must be restored. (if you buy an old house to use as an office building or store you can remodel the inside, but the outside but still look like the traditional Charleston style). So when you are walking downtown you can imagine it looked the same 100 years ago (minus the cars, of course)!! New Orleans has a similar style/flavor (Charleston has a French Quarter), but Charleston is honestly superior because of how they have prevented the invastion of modern architecture. Even most of the hotels are boutique inns or B&Bs instead of large chain hotels. (We stayed at the Elliott House, which had a courtyard garden breakfast and afternoon wine/cheese happy hour).

I won't bore you with the touristy details, but we did all the standard stuff including a visit to a nearby plantation, the wine bar with adoptable cats, a boat trip through the harbor (they have dolphins!) past Fort Sumner, and a narrated carriage ride. The *best* thing we did was a private tour of some historic homes/gardens by two very southern ladies (video above) that finished with lunch in our host's formal dining room, on her family china, overlooking the park. I can't recommend this tour enough, these ladies are hilarious and well-informed. They even snuck us into the 20-million-dollar SwordGate house (they are friends with the caretaker, the owner only lives there one month a year).

Totally unrelated: watching for the Charleston tour video sent me down a YouTube rabbit hole looking for new music. I don't know how I've missed this Monarchy video since 2013 (very NSFW) but I'm obsessed with this song now and it's been my stay-awake-in-the-middle-of-night-jam this week... Probably because it reminds me of someone I want to see again. XOXO

Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: Monarchy ft Dita Von Teese - Disintegration

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November 6th, 2017

11:45 pm - working title
Yes, yes, I've been absent.... I've fallen off since the summer, but that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to you, quite the opposite! I don't know really what to talk about tonight, but I'm wide awake after watching a scary bear movie, so I figured I would start typing and see what came out :)


Going on vacation with my mom next week... her family is about as quintessentially south Texas as you can get. My grandfather was the chairman of a trucking business and a part-time cattle rancher. He had a herd out in San Diego (Tx), and I grew up eating cows that me & my cousins had played with and given pet names to. Of course all the men in my family were hunters; my grandfather owned several hundred acres out by Kerrville where they would go every autumn for deer season. To this day, my cousins are still avid hunters, they think it is hilarious that now I am an amateur vegetarian and feed the friendly deer that wander through my backyard.

My grandparents had taxidermied deer heads mounted all around their living room.... they would put red foil on their noses at Christmastime for the kiddos. :D One time my grandmother was cleaning and bumped against a wall, knocking a deer head off and the antlers IMPALED HER IN THE BACK!! REVENGE FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!! LOL She recovered, of course.... she was a tough old broad. She also ran over her foot once with the lawnmower and chopped off several toes. :D

granny and grandpa mid-1990s. He died 2003 and she died 2015. They were fucking AWESOME and I miss them terribly.

But I digress. My point is that not all Texans love guns (for my international readers: only about 30% of Americans own guns, despite what the media may represent). I've never held a gun and I can't imagine any reason why I would ever own one. Having a gun around doesn't make me feel safe; it makes me feel less safe, I am scared of them. I'm sure you have all seen on the news the incident that happened yesterday near San Antonio where a young man barged into a church and killed 26 parishoners. I don't understand; I've never been angry enough to want to kill another person. This event has been particularly upsetting to me for many reasons, not just the proximity to my home; I'm always most disturbed by violence in schools or churches because you presume those are sacred and insulated spaces. I certainly don't know the answer to gun violence in the US but I can't think of any good reason why semi-automatic or automatic weapons should be legal for private ownership; you aren't hunting doves or defending your home with an assault rifle.

Human beings are emotional and IMPULSIVE, if they have easy access to weapons they can make an irrational decision with irreversable consequences that they will regret later. A relevant example? One of my employees was killed in a domestic dispute last week. He stopped in the middle of his southside delivery route to say hello to his son practicing football (news) and got in an argument with his ex-wife and her new boyfriend. He stabbed the new boyfriend, and boyfriend's pal unloaded NINE bullets into the scuffle, killing my employee. AWFUL. (Why both of these men were armed at a children's sports park baffles me.) I'm so SO grateful that no bystanders or children were killed. What should have just been a nasty exchange of insults turned into one person dead and one in the ICU because they were armed. :(

GRRR I'm all worked up now. Sorry if I pissed you off. I'm a pussycat so I always feel like I have to apologize for having an opinion about anything controversial. At any rate, I'm glad that I am going on vacation soon... originally mom was just going to come here and hang out for a few days, but on Saturday I asked her if she wanted to go anywhere, and she said "San Diego or Charleston!!" I luckily found some cheap last-minute plane tickets and we are on our way out of town this weekend. YUM I see biscuits, collard greens, and grits in my future :D mmmm but I still would rather nibble on you, my sweet prince XOXO
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Wolfsheim - Closer Still

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October 28th, 2017

04:06 am
I think about you all the time.
When will you be mine


October 24th, 2017

01:02 am
silly rabbit I don't want to wait another 6 months to see you again


October 22nd, 2017

11:59 pm - In the midnight hour
This wasn't planned, really.... but while deleting cat pictures off of my phone tonight (to free up space for new cat pictures) I figured I had enough snippets to make a September. It's rather dull but at least I posted something, I've been off for a while :p

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Iris - Guide on Raging Stars

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October 5th, 2017

11:09 pm - Harvest Moon
My boss would be pissed if he knew I was wandering around the parking lot in the middle of the night....


We are under the same full moon XOXO

Current Mood: working hard/hardly working
Current Music: VNV Nation - Nova

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September 9th, 2017

11:30 pm - retrospective
I was born in the dark.

It was a new moon.... and there was a massive electrical outage in town, in the days before everyone had emergency generators. The hospital hadn't had power for two hours... I was born under flashlights and laid in a crib with hot water bottles.


Me & two of my siblings were born at that hospital... they take your photo immediately after delivery. My siblings are crying and puffy and misshapen in their birth portraits, while I am sweet and glowing.... because my photo wasn't taken for several hours. My mother has all three pictures, and if you didn't know the story, you would assume I was some sort of angelic special baby.

But I am not special. I am timid and indecisive. You are special. As much as I want you, I don't think I deserve your attention. XOXO

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie - I will follow you into the dark

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September 4th, 2017

03:30 am - step right through the door
WHAT!! Two posts in two days? Well now, keep your panties on. Don't go expecting this kind of thing.... I'm just a little wired. I had cocktails with my friend Hans in the evening, then pizza with the Moodys at midnight, then rode shotgun with my roomie while we drove around looking for gas (we finally found some but waited 30 minutes at 2am), and now I'm still wide awake!!

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I love the Moodys bunches though I'm sure it seems strange we are even friends. They got married at 18, right after graduating from a Christian high school, and had a bucketful of kids. I think they are hilarious and adorable. We don't get to hang out much because of their responsibilities but I always have a lot of fun when we do.

Plus Mrs M and I had a lot to talk about... we are both recent converts to extended fasting. A friend of mine had recently suggested it to me... I was complaining about gaining a few pounds over the summer (until this week it's been too dang hot to exercise outside) and my worsening eczema problem. I read up on the metabolic and immune benefits of fasting (this book is a good resource) and figured I had nothing to lose.... so I tried a seven-day fast last month and I felt GREAT. It was easy; the carb withdrawal in the first 24 hours can be difficult, but once you are in ketosis you feel fine and have lots of energy. I lost several pounds and my skin cleared up. Mrs M has a teenager with a severe seizure disorder that is now completely controlled by periodic fasting and a ketogenic diet... previously she was on a complicated cocktail of drugs. Now I figure I'll just fast once monthly (during my on-call week, when I am isolated from food anyways) for a while and see how this goes. I'm beginning to seriously believe that this is the way humans are genetically programmed to eat (feast or famine). I know, I know, it sounds like an eating disorder, but it really isn't. Plus I like food too much to have an eating disorder :D

I'd post about it on FB but I know that would just entice the trolls. You really can't have any kind of controversial (or mainstream, really) opinion anymore without inviting drama. I've abandoned politics on FB but still managed to get into a heated exchange with some libertarian friends today about how EXCITED they were about pharmacies in Colorado dispensing birth control without a prescription. Ugh. As a medical professional, I think this is a terrible idea!! Yes, I understand their arguments... that women don't need a pap smear every year (true) and pills are generally safe (true) and that it can be difficult for some women to get annual exams, because they are rural/unemployed/busy/indigent/whatever. But just because you don't need a pap smear every single year doesn't mean you NEVER need one. I'm just afraid this option is going to be abused by irresponsible teenagers, who are going to wind up with cervical cancer and undiagnosed STDs. I have a better option... want to improve access to birth control? Require the medical exam, but make the prescription valid for three years instead of one year. See how easy that is?? I know, I know... I'm biased but all of my female patients under the age of 30 are dying of cervical cancer. :( grrrr

oh wow I thought pecking away at the keyboard for a bit would make me sleepy... but now I'm even MORE worked up. Huh. Too bad there isn't someone here that I could take out all this excess energy on. :p Sweet dreams ~ XOXO

Current Mood: too bouncy for 3am
Current Music: Depeche Mode - welcome to my world

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September 3rd, 2017

02:40 am - Katrina and the Waves
Howdy LJ! So nice to be off for the Labor Day weekend... so time to catch up, I have missed you :)

A few of you who know I live in south Texas have messaged me... yes, San Antonio escaped mostly unscathed from Hurricane Harvey. Even though the eye of the hurricane was parked closest to SA, the counter-clockwise spin meant everyone else around us (everything coastal, Houston to the east, and Austin to the north) got much more rain than we did. My mom in west Houston and my sister in Bryan/College station both got three feet of rain but live in higher parts of town, so neither flooded or lost power. We had asked my stubborn 75-year-old mother to evacuate in advance to my sister in Dallas, but she refused... she's lived in Katy for almost 40 years and never had more than a few broken tree branches, so she decided to sit it out. Miraculously only about 50 people died in the flooding, but hurricane Harvey is on track now to be the most expensive natural disaster in US history. Here in SA we have a massive gas shortage caused by panic/hysteria (90% of gas stations in SA were closed today... I only have a full tank because I fueled up at 3am last night).

* * * * * * * * *

Back in 2005 I was in-between jobs when Hurricane Katrina hit NOLA, so I volunteered full-time for the Red Cross for a month. San Antonio took in 25-30K refugees, and about 10K were processed through the two shelters at Kelly Air Force Base. I worked as the night shift supervisor at Kelly shelter 1536, a converted warehouse filled with lines of cots; my biggest responsibility was taking care of ~100 elderly evacuees waiting for nursing home placement. They were all very sweet and appreciative (I got the impression most of them lived alone and had no close relatives, it was heartbreaking). In the first few weeks, about 200-300 people/families would leave every day as social workers found them found permanent housing and new jobs. Emotions ran high (people were obviously sad about not being able to return to NOLA, and anxious about their new homes here in SA) but everyone was thankful for the help and my job was very rewarding.

But it wasn't an entirely positive experience. After about a month, as the population trickled down, the environment in the shelter dramatically changed. All the residents had been given >$3000 cash, bus passes, food stamps, and unemployment checks, but there was a fraction of them that were belligerent/ungrateful/demanding. Basically their needs (food/shelter) were being taken care of, so they wanted to just blow their cash and stay at the shelter instead of moving on to other (free) housing. We started to have daily arrests for prostitution, selling drugs, child abandonment, assault, sexual assault, and public intoxication; they installed metal detectors at the doors and increased the police/security staff (even though there were much fewer residents). I didn't even feel safe walking in from the parking lot at night... that's when I quit. They closed my shelter shortly afterwards and combined the leftover residents from the four SA shelters into one location.

not my picture, but this is my Kelly AFB shelter in 200

For hurricane Harvey, I wanted to do something for my hometown of Houston, so I applied to take in rescue animals from the Humane Society and the Animal Defense League. Sadly/Happily they've been overwhelmed with volunteers and so nobody has called me yet *sniff* even though I am an excellent candidate!! I have a spare bedroom for the rescues and I am very good at giving pettings and kisses.... of course you would know that if you ever saw me in person XOXO

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: VNV Nation - Tempest

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September 2nd, 2017

12:38 am

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August 10th, 2017

04:10 pm - Correlation does not imply causation
Howdy LJ. I'm on-call until 8am Saturday morning, so I started writing this catch-up entry overnight... then slept through some awful news this morning. So excuse the rather irregular/disjointed tone of this post. :/

1. So another friend of mine has committed suicide... we called her Flout (her old DJ name). She was the ex-wife of my friend Jon (who died in January) and a good friend of M (who died in April). She joined the Army in 2011... and came back from Iraq & Afghanistan with terrible PTSD. She got a medical discharge from the army earlier this year, and just moved back to San Antonio two months ago, to be with her parents. Yes, she was sick, but she seemed to be doing better? She was in school, and we were planning a repeat Sagittarius birthday party at my house in December. Sadly because I've been working so much this summer, I hadn't seen her in the past two months since she returned... we were always missing each other (I was on call during her homecoming party and Hans' pool party, she was out of town at Martin's birthday, etc). I was excited to have a new girlfriend back in town. It hasn't really sunk in yet... I'm completely in shock.

I'm very worried now about one of my friends, in the same social circle, who has flirted with suicide repeatedly in the past. He's been depressed and made jokes about it in the past year... it wasn't funny at the time but it is disturbing now in retrospect. I don't read people well so I never know when he's just kidding. I called him this morning, expressed my concerns, and told him he's welcome to move into my guest bedroom at a moment's notice. Then I told him I would re-murder his dead body if he committed suicide so that he knew I was serious. I don't want to lose him. :/

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2. The boss came back in to town for two weeks in July and gave me a much-needed break... I'm still too busy to take vacation but he gave me a few afternoons off for my mental health, and I went TUBING!! Back in the day, I used to go tubing almost every other weekend in the summer with my gal pals... but Brookie is now married with kids, Phox moved to Austin, and Kcat moved to Killeen... so I hadn't been in years. It's very therapeutic.

FYI if you are ever interested in Texas tubing, you should totally float down the Comal. I know the Guadalupe is more exciting (more rapids) and the Frio is more scenic, but because they are true rivers, the water is warm (80's) and too low during the hot summer. The Comal is spring fed, so the water is clear and cool (70-72 refreshing!!) and it never closes due to flow issues. Plus the Comal has a stone bottom instead of grass, so if you hang your legs through the tube they don't drag through the muck. The Comal is highly superior! You know, if you are stressed out about world politics, it's very relaxing. And if you wanted to go, I already have the inflatable floating cooler... ;)

3. Of course, the boss is now gone again for another month... the two weeks he was here? Delightful. But the minute he leaves, the shit hits the fan. He left on Sunday last week... on Monday two employees quit (one pregnant, one moving to Houston), Tuesday we had a naked man give my front desk a helicopter show (surveillance pics), Wednesday another employee had a car accident, and Thursday we lost a major client. Funny because the boss doesn't really work much, but he is clearly my good luck charm, I need him to come back STAT!! I don't like all this work drama. :D

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4. Kitten is freaking adorable and helping me type this entry right now. No name yet, but I think it's down to Leo or Simon. Paul insists that no matter what name I choose, he's gonna call the kitten "Crom", the god of Conan. I think it is a clever play on "chrome" because he is gray, but I still hate it LOL.


oh wow I have so much more half-written (I know, I've been lax about posting) but I must get ready for work. I have Saturday-Monday off so I'll finish up in my free time... I'm going to Austin on Saturday night for a housewarming party, but I wish I had an invitation to stay the whole weekend. When will you be mine XOXO

Current Mood: busy busy busy
Current Music: Lefty Frizzell - I Love You a Thousand Ways

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July 27th, 2017

01:40 am - So I have a new man in my life...
...but you shouldn't be worried. ;) This is my new baby boy Earl, who I get to pick up from the Humane Society next Monday. I'm very excited, I think he will be a fine addition to my family! :)

Of course the reason for the new addition is not a happy one. Two weeks ago, my teenager Bartacus suffered some sort of a head injury... I'm not exactly sure how, but he liked to climb trees and run around on the roof, so he probably just fell. He was sluggish and growling and had unequal pupils (see the last pic). The vet said it was most likely a concussion, he would be fine in a day or two.... but 48 hours later he was much worse and having seizures. We sedated him and started steroids but it was too late, he died 3 days after his injury. I was upset afterwards that I didn't press for more aggressive treatment in the beginning, thinking that maybe if we had intervened sooner he could have been saved... but honestly even if we had ordered CT scans and ICU care, the result probably would have been the same. I hope he didn't suffer... it's so incredibly hard to tell when cats are in pain. He was a sweet boy. :(

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It probably seems premature to get another kitten so soon, but Tranny Cat does not like being an only child. After I lost Miss Riley and Miss Trixie in spring of 2015, Tranny Cat didn't eat for weeks... he finally had to go on kitty xanax for a short while. He's been anxious and clingy with Bartacus gone, but not as bad as before because roomie is off for the summer and keeps him company. Roomie has to go back to work in early August for teacher inservice, so I figured I'd better have Tranny's new sidekick ready to go by next week :)

BREAKING NEWS!! I also have ANOTHER new EXCITING addition to my menagerie... my friend Jenn texted me late tonight and said I can come pick up this little nugget on Thursday evening!! :D He's been getting a little too friendly with her chickens. Do you think he will ride in my cat carrier? :D

EDIT: picked him up, he's so tiny! ready to go into my backyard! Welcome to the neighborhood, little fella!
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So yay new kitty and possum friends.... though I would really like a silly rabbit to give kisses to as well XOXO

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Ladyhawke - My Delirium

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July 8th, 2017

02:25 am - Nucleus Accumbens
a brief respite in my on-call weekend for a quick post...

We got the results of my friend M's autopsy yesterday. We all presumed she died of a drug overdose (whether accidental or intentional) but nobody expected this cause of death: inhalants. We all knew she was abusing xanax, alcohol, and weed.... but what a surprise. All we can assume is that she was huffing because difluoroethane doesn't show up on routine drug tests, and she was having regular screenings because of her second DWI.

I don't pretend to understand addiction at all, even though I deal with drug addicts on a daily basis. :( Seems like everybody is addicted to something.... drugs, alcohol, sex, food, whatever.... just some people get their dopamine fix from things that are more socially acceptable/productive than others, I guess. Everyone is trying to escape, everyone wants to fill a hole but some people are more successful.

Play a song for me, something beautiful, I need it XOXO

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: Cause & Effect - you think you know her

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July 5th, 2017

01:32 am - Single White Female
Well howdy, LJ. Nothing significant to report here.... I'm almost done with my first 48-hour shift this week (I have another coming this weekend). I'm totally bummed I missed my pal Hans' annual July 4th rooftop pool party, but it reportedly ended in a drunken brawl with security guards, so maybe it was a good thing I didn't go after all. :)

I hate to jinx myself by saying there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but things are finally looking up, work-wise. My new employee swung by tonight to pick up some paperwork (and as I've already mentioned), I LOVE HER ALREADY. Her Toyota SUV has a purple glitter custom paint job vinyl wrap and a vanity license plate dedicated to her Great Dane. We discussed our mutual love of all things purple, her pet squirrel, and the ducks that live in her swimming pool. SHE IS SO AWESOME she kinda makes me wonder if my employees are gonna like her more than they like me. LOL :D

uh, no, I don't think it is creepy or SWF-ish that I went out to the parking lot to take pictures of her car :D
LVADG IMG_20170704_173941.jpg IMG_20170705_195640.jpg

So it's still terrible around here, but the worst is over. The new employee starts later today, and my second-in-command Dave comes back this weekend. *sigh* In all the craziness of the past month, I actually turned down a sweet 9-5 M-F job offer, and now I regret it. It came with a significant pay cut, but I'm totally ready to trade my salary for a better quality of life... though I think my boss Larry would have a coronary if I resigned, he totally depends on me.

Funny because my boss Larry fired me twice in the first six months I worked for him... on one occasion, two young girls came into the office, told me they used to work for Larry. We chatted for a few minutes, then one of them said, "oh!! That stereo on top of the fridge? It's mine, I left it here when I quit a few months go." So OF COURSE I suggested she go to the back of the office and retrieve her stereo from the top of the fridge. OF COURSE! After a few minutes, my technician (who was watching them suspiciously, I was not), asked me why they were digging through the freezer.... when I confronted them, they bolted out of the office with both the stereo and a mysterious package from the freezer.

In the purloined package? FROZEN FISH. My boss, who showed up a few minutes later, told me the two girls were employees of his estranged ex-business partner, and the frozen fish that they stole was used to make specialty veterinary treats. And yes, the stereo they stole as a diversion belonged to Larry. He decided not to call the police, because I had essentially *invited* the girls to rob me... AND WHO STEALS FROZEN FISH?? but he did fire me for a second time. LOL.


Anyways, I'm gonna take some extra days off in July to lay around and do absolutely nothing! It's a terrible time for me to be on vacation, but my boss can't complain after I worked almost every day in June. I haven't been taking care of myself.... I've hardly exercised, I've been eating crap, and I'm sleeping terribly. I think I will text around later today to see if anyone is off to meet me for a tubing trip on Monday; I haven't floated down the Comal in probably three years, and right now it sounds immensely relaxing. :D

Let's get away. Silly rabbit are you ever gonna be mine XOXO

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Iris - Cries of Insanity

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June 27th, 2017

11:55 pm - Eat me :D
uh... remember shittiest day ever? Now turning into shittiest WEEK ever!

Strangely, I'm not really stressed about it anymore... everything is so out of control and ridiculous that I've just come to accept it. Resistance is futile, after all. I keep telling myself that three months from now, I will look back on this week and think it is HILARIOUS. Oh, and I'm blogging about it instead of sleeping in case I *accidentally* murder someone in the next three days (I don't think you have internet access in jail). c'est la vie. :)

to review my craptastic week:
1. DOJ anal probe, including forced destruction of 10k of inventory
2. boss man blissfully fishing on a lake in montana without cell phone access
3. second-in-command resigned
4. third-in-command joined boss on aforementioned lake three days ago
5. TODAY: part-time employee covering the three absent staff members CALLS IN SICK FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.... yes, going into a holiday weekend.

IN SUMMARY: I'm fucked. I physically do not have enough licensed management to legally open for business for the next three days (there is a mandatory ratio of management-staff). Unless I can clone myself in the next 10 hours, I have no idea what I am gonna do. I'm probably gonna have to hire a temp ($100 per hour, ugh!) but they almost create as much work as they do, because they are essentially a warm body that requires a full-time babysitter... and I have a shortage of babysitters because one of my techs is in the phillippines picking up his mail-order bride (a story for another time!). Thankfully my staff has been remarkably dedicated and helpful this week (even when I occasionally slip into Kraken mode); I don't know what I would do without their support, they are all wonderful.

Oh.... uh... what was the point of this post? Oh yeah... soooo (hypothetically speaking):



There is NO food in my house, and my dinner tonight was a six-pack of those tiny, waxy, chocolate donuts I bought at the gas station (due to my work overload, a disproportionate number of meals I have eaten in the past two weeks have come from the Shell station). Anyways, those donuts (or, "donettes") are terrible little chemical pellets. I'm sure every single one I eat shortens my life span by ten minutes. And yet I have a strange emotional response to them... they make me very nostalgic. I ate too many of them in college, or something. Anyways, I'd need them at my last meal, for sure. With some macaroni & cheese. And collard greens. And a biscuit (ideally made by my grandmother)... granny's cooking fixes everything :)

Because of the terrible past two weeks, I've already texted my boss and told him he's sending me on a vacation in August sometime, and he's paying for it. I gave up my Burning Man weekend this year (to the second-in-command, who resigned GRRR) so I have vacation time to burn and I don't have anything planned. I think I will tell him he needs to send me back to Canadia for a long weekend, I've never been to Toronto :D

Hmm insanely jealous of people in beautiful, peaceful places right now. They should text me pictures. XOXO
Current Mood: inappropriately calm
Current Music: Ashbury Heights - Scars of a Lighthouse

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June 22nd, 2017

07:34 pm - If you are gonna do a body cavity search, please be considerate and use lube. ;)
SHITTIEST DAY EVER. Really, like top-10 in my lifetime.

There is a division of the DOJ (you can guess) that I report to.... that is notorious for treating everyone like a criminal. Presumed guilty until proven innocent. Well they came in for a suprise inspection today.... and despite the fact that I passed my very comprehensive state inspection with flying colors three months ago, by the end of their visit I was worried that I'm either going to be hit with a substantial fine (multiples of 100k) or a visit from a prosecutor.

I'm pissed because all of the violations were not commited by me, but by my boss.... who is out fishing on a remote lake in Montana somewhere, without cell phone service until Monday. He has no idea what is going on. His wife called the corporate office of the marina they rented a boat from; we are hoping that someone can paddle over to their cabin and ask him to drive into town for a conference call.

I'm not gonna say I'm completely blameless, but I trusted my boss that he had done everything right; I should have double-checked his work, it's that important. Now I'm scrambling to repair the damage, hoping that if I jump through all their administrative hoops within 24-48 hours that they will show mercy on me.

*sigh* I don't want to go to federal prison. I'm a terrible lesbian, I'm not into bondage, and I really look awful in orange. :D

syrkadian is on the way over with an emergency bottle of wine, but our bitching hour will be short because I have to be back at 6am, two hours before we open tomorrow. :( I wish you were here, I really need a hug. XOXO

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: De/Vision - Prisoner

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June 18th, 2017

10:22 pm - return to me
С днем ​​отца to our Russian Live Journal overlords.... they must have done some kind of code update this week, because the format for my journal and some entries got jacked up? I dunno if this is the beginning of the end, but I backed up my LJ today just in case.

That's the only productive thing I have done around the house, though. I totally jinxed myself with my last happy post!! I had an ambitious laundry list of things I was going to accomplish this past week, with the roomie out of town: Cleaning out closets/garage, gardening, exercise, etc etc etc... and I got NONE of it done. The house looks like a tornado has torn through it. I've done nothing but work, sleep, and eat junk food.... because on Tuesday my second-in-command turned in his resignation. Ugh.

I'm pretty stressed out and I have some busy days ahead. My boss is out of town for the summer, so I've spent the past week working long hours and flipping through resumes trying to find the perfect candidate. I hire technicians all the time (they come and go) but replacing management is a much more serious job that frankly, I am not qualified to do. I'm terrible at interviewing people because I like everybody.... I spend the whole interview trying to sell them on the job rather than actually figuring out if they are a good fit :D

But happily on Saturday I think I found a suitable match.... She showed up for her interview with pink streaks in her hair and a box of cannolis (bribe the interviewer, YES). She's ridiculously fit (she has Madonna arms... maybe she could be my personal trainer LOL) . I stalked her on FB and her family does wildlife rescue in their free time; all of her FB timeline pics were of her and her pet BABY SQUIRREL. Anyways, if we don't hire her, I'm gonna invite her to go have drinks with me and my bff Mimi, because I totally have a mad girl crush on her.... you should be a tiny bit jealous ;)

squirrel.png 039.JPG

Since we are talking about friends, happy 40th birthday to my old pal, Martin. Martin was my very first San Antonio friend (not counting work or school associates).... I met him the very first time I went to Sin13 in January 2003, he was working the door at the Das Ich show. Funny that almost everyone I know now can be traced back to him, six-degrees-of-separation style. We had a very rocky friendship for many years because he is the most argumentative person I have ever met!! He likes to play devil's advocate and can debate anyone on almost any topic. It took me a long time to figure out he just does this for fun, it's not personal or malicious.... he essentially waits for you to express an opinion, then will oppose it just for the sake of the discussion (even if he agrees with you). It's hard to ruffle my feathers but one time he made me so frustrated during an argument that I pulled off the freeway and threw him out of my car in an IHOP parking lot at 11:30pm at night. :D

Oh yikes. It's getting late, I should go to bed soon... if I sign off now maybe I can wash the week's worth of dishes in the kitchen sink before bedtime. Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there, and yes, fathers of fur-babies count in my book. :) Sweet dreams, I'll be dreaming about you XOXO

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Assemblage 23 - Lullaby

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