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dressed for disappointment [entries|friends|calendar]
drunk on immorality

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[31 Dec 2004|03:50am]
wow.
good to know that not everything has seemingly disappeared from my life.

i'm moving to colorado in a little over a month.
and now, that doesn't even seem like a big enough change.

anyway.
things are working out just fine.
i believe i've hit just about every bump along the way,
but it's made me grow.

i can't sleep.
and i hate to say it,
but i think i miss having someone leeched to the side of me.

at laest i have keiki.
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[19 Oct 2004|04:05am]
i want to pour my heart out.
and i cant.

i dont think ive ever been this hurt,
and if i have it hasn't been because of some asshole out of state.

haha. ah.
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dear anonymous [08 Oct 2004|04:10pm]
that was cheap.
make another pretend email
and message me back.

jerk.
haha.

i hate not having a say.
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for certain lurkers [07 Oct 2004|11:46am]
I am done with this journal, and happily using my other.

But for certain lurkers::

when i say this, its not to be a bitch- rather to stop with the games.
you say youre trying to look out for a 'sister' - maybe you should try and be a 'sister' first.
you feed me stories, and write me email after email - but i still know nothing of/about you. you're a fictionl character.

anyway. i'm done with these games.
if you're going to email me-
email me as a 'friend' .. this anynonmous thing isn't going to work anymore.

i realized that i could have quite possibley ruined one of the best friendships ive ever had - regardless of slight confusion.

::shrugs::
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Just Go [06 Oct 2004|03:47am]
due to boredom- lack of sleep/privacy :: new journal.

add me at ___provocative
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[06 Oct 2004|02:16am]
went to therapy
i keep thinking today is sat.

my sister leabves at 10am
she didnt even spend time w her family.
i don tt hink ill miss her much

talk to the ex bf
it went suprisingly well.
our relationship was something else lmao.

talked to johnny-
went to school w the kid =[
never talked- now we do =]
yay myspace haha

tom is in town. but not online jerk.

and i want a adaniel salad whatever that is haha - mis syou kid
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daily alarm [05 Oct 2004|09:09am]
i couldnt go back to sleep- before i leave for therapy.
i'm sitting here coughing up a lung or two.
my head is swamped - my tummy is turning,
i started my period,
i can't eat,
and did i mention i have therapy again today- that drains me so much, and i hurt. ugh.

my sister is so reliable- that she forgot to come home last night [with my car] so now my mom is going to have to be late to work so she can take mr to herapy.

luckily my daily alarm on m y cell phon s extra cute, and such a happy tone. makes me smile - ven if im not having a good day, that and ersan. hehe that boy- i swear he says the damndest things - i love it.
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sex sex sex [05 Oct 2004|01:10am]
lol adam is the best

he brought me a present.
i now own the paris hilton sex video and all 4 episodes of joey.

it's a wicked combination i tell you.
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im going to kill my brother [04 Oct 2004|11:54pm]
i was online talking to him,
pretty disinterested in the conversation - but listened none the less.

mm then he was leaving,
i felt pretty dozzy- my ned looked comfy and i pop up an away message.

im getting etxts from both seans,
and adam calls
and then a fuckin cricket [of all things it had to be a cricket] came out from nowhere - on my bed!

i hat emy brother and hos stupid animals.
he always ket s crickets out on the house.
anyway- i scream as if im getting murdered
and jump out of bed

my arm is broken!
and its hrting ryhdtie5wn 57!!

im goin to fuckin kill that kid.
and earlier today him and his sucky fat friends were screaming like girls! choke.

now adam is coming over.
i just want to sleep honestly.
i like not knowing where my days went- or having to see anyone.

daniel- i hop e you feel better. i dont know if you even read this thing anymore. but still. it pains me to see you hurting =[
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[04 Oct 2004|10:51pm]
okay. so i got really sick in therapy today.
and i've been sleeping on and off since about 2:30 when i got out.

she's having me do these simple puzzles/games etc to work my muscles- ow.
i go again tomorrow at 10 am. this doesn't make me happy.

i think i've been so light headed/dizzy/sick/achey from pushing myself to the limits this morning. ugh- never again. i feel like yuck!
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[04 Oct 2004|11:06am]
i have to leave for psyhical therapy in an hour and a half. i think its time i take a nap.

but before i leave- i took some pictures of my progress hehe. though, i only got two uploaded onto photobucket before i decided that all that showering, blow drying, and attemped hair straightning - really wore me out. so, more later- as always.

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[best email ever] - thank 'you' [04 Oct 2004|03:41am]
i don't care how timid this 'lengthy' email appears. read it. it made my night!!

c.r.a.v.e.r.Collapse )

what an intelligent fella.
thank you times a million

♥♥♥
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[04 Oct 2004|12:51am]
there's nothing i hate more,
than people being too fuckin' nice.

nothing is wrong,
everyone should stop asking me that,
and telling me that they're for me- i don't give a shit.

i'm cranky- cry me a river.
christ, just lay off of me - and i'll be fine in five.

thank you


p.s. jewel- i really didn't mind if you were one of million people trying to talk to me, i don't want you to think i was unappreciative - i was. =]

and adam, you'll probably think this is about you.
don't take it personal.
you're like the millionth person tonight that's told me that.
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this new cell phone makes me mad [04 Oct 2004|12:25am]
its retarded.
just like most everyone.

anyway.
it decided to drop my call to richard,
and now it's not showing that i have service.
i can never hear it ring,
and its volumes lowers and raises throughout the call.

i hate it i hate it i hate it.

haha. every time i say 'richard' - i think of friends, monicas dentist/boyfriend.
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[03 Oct 2004|07:34pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

wow. please no anxiety attacks.

my hearts going a million and seven miles per second.

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[03 Oct 2004|09:28am]
richard just left.
he says he's going to break my 'im so tuff attitude'
what a sukka ;)
it was fun.

DANIEL came and hung out!!
I missed him lots and lots and lots.
fuckin flagstaff turned him into a hippie,
or maybe it was chris- its hard to tell these days.

i still adore that boy though!

i wonder if anything can compare to yesterday.
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mikey poo [03 Oct 2004|01:35am]
alright.
who all got a drunken call from emo mike?

i did i did
i miss that kid so much.
we talked about the good ol days haha.

and how often people use to mistake us for boyfriend/girlfriend [even hubby and wifey] made me laugh.

maryke and andrew came and visited me for an hour
it was way fun.
i love those kids!
i had a cigarette the first time in a month.


now; daniel is on his way over. =]
and im not sure if richard is coming or not.
i was on the phone with mike when he asked me when he should come ::shrugs::


days are getting better.
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new layout [02 Oct 2004|08:30pm]
too bored.to care.

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and i thought i needed a lot of attention. [02 Oct 2004|04:56pm]
mmm - david.
you don't really have to come over this coming weekend.
i don't really need you to tell me the same lines you spit out to every other broad.

i'm sorry i thought you were genuine.



in.other.news.Collapse )
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[02 Oct 2004|07:18am]
so i got home a little bit ago.
those kids are something else.

i was petrafied driving back to their apartment.
i didn't know they had all been drinking.
and brad was being a silly driver.. luckily there was richard in the back, and pete and brad making me laugh.

we get there.
roomies were funny.
everyone was just silly drunk, and i was sober.

but it was definitely nice hanging with a new crowd.
tonight richard might come back. he just left for work.

my arm really hurts this morning.

sisterCollapse )
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