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_agentsmith

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[31 Dec 2004|09:47pm]
I'm going to take 5ev3n out dancing tonight to celebrate the new year.

Then...we will come home and celebrate some more...

...as long as I can keep Mitzi out of our way for awhile.

*fiendish grin*
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In Disguise [15 Dec 2004|12:40am]
I was infiltrating some conventions recently, attempting to gain a grasp as to what sorts of things are "going down" in various cultures of the world. However, I dared not go in a suit and tie, for such things would only make me stick out, sending people into a panic. That was not my plan, oh no. My plan, you see, was to view, to study...from a distance...to go unnoticed, giving me time enough to weave the most intricate, devious of plans. *smirking hugely* Yes, YES! My plan went smoothly, and I dare say no one even SUSPECTED 'twas I, lurking about their little shindigs!

I was able to garner some very secretive information - need to know basis and all that - I won't go into it here. I will say, however, that the people I frolicked among weren't really in need of disposal. A fun-loving lot, they were, and they even complimented me on my shiny shoes and slick dance moves, which I've picked up from 5ev3n, a fiiiiine dancer, I must say.

Anyway, my next stop will be the local strip clubs, pubs, and hardware stores.

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[23 Nov 2004|04:37pm]
I am now addicted to Chicken Tenders, Frosties, and Slurpees.

The joys of pretending to be human, I swear.

Lately, I've been rather busy concocting up wonderful designs for random household objects. I have devised a way to combine a toilet with a trash compactor. Quite interesting.

I miss my love...I hope she doesn't hate me.
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Questions About Human Dreams [01 Nov 2004|09:56pm]
There seems to be a change in the wind around here. I need to remember that I do have a purpose, and I must ensure that my purpose is met. My jobs must be done, and I must not forget that - though love is great - it is not my sole purpose. I also have to do what must be done.

I seem to have been slacking off lately, which caused the Oracle to summon me. I told her that I have been trying to work through these semi-human feelings, and of course she understood that.

Honestly, I'm surprised she still talks to me after that whole throwing-her-cookies-in-a-blind-fit-of-rage episode. I have since made that up to her by giving her a lovely new set of china, wonderfully designed with 24 karat gold from the Middle East. She seems to like it a lot, and has even begun calling me "Smith," as opposed to, "The Bad Man."

Sati sent me a little card the other day, saying that she wants to help me train Mitzi. Mitzi has been in the care of Sati and her parents for the past few weeks because I've been gone. I told Sati she is welcome to play with Mitzi any time she wishes, but her parents are a bit wary of sending their only daughter over to an Agent's house. I don't blame them, I really don't - so I just said that I will make sure to walk Mitzi by their house once in awhile so Sati can come out to say hello.

I have begun enjoying the art of "reading." The things humans concoct astounds me - such simple things, yet such complex things. They write about things their feeble little minds could never POSSIBLY create in real life, which is, I suppose, why they must rely only on dreaming. Dreams are, in my high and mighty opinion, for the weak. You must exist primarily in the here and now, and do what you can HERE, not let your mind wander in a subconscious drizzle.

Yet...if one did not dream, could one really create a here and now? Someone had to dream up this entire realm of The Matrix, did they not? Did that start with a dream, or was it a nightmare? Was it for some greater purpose, or just to prove it could be done?

I must limit my reading, for it is making me question things too much, and that gives my forehead wrinkles.

Regards,
Smith
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[25 Oct 2004|05:01pm]
I thoroughly apologize for my abscence. I've had...technical difficulties...to deal with. But I'm back, and bigger, stronger, and more multiplied than ever! BWAHAHAHAHA!

I hope 5ev3n wasn't too upset by my abscence.
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Sweeper Boy [01 Oct 2004|08:56pm]
I enjoy:

long solitary walks around the construct
painting my nails clear
juggling walnuts
playing miniature golf
shining my shoes
snuggling 5ev3n
hacking the system
cloning
cackling like a madman
smirking
furrowing my brow
saying "deir-ty"

Now I can add a new hobby to that list:



I think I look rather dashing.
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[27 Sep 2004|10:43am]
I am glad I don't have a beard. An agent with a beard would look too much like a mountain man in a suit.
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Furries and the Matrix? [14 Sep 2004|10:17pm]
I tried hacking into The System today, but I hadn't gone much farther than the Mainframe when I realized something odd...

There is a most striking link between Matrix programmers and "furries" porn. You weasel into a programmer's system, and there's bound to be a furry lurking about.

Me...I prefer the real thing. *winks to my sweetie*
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Martin [05 Sep 2004|01:27am]
Today I met a blind guy named Martin who looked a lot like me.

I put a chip in his brain so he would know how lovely he is.

He takes pictures of everything and labels them in Braille.

I said he was paranoid, but he said, "well...no disrespect, sir, but I'm not the only one hiding behind shades."

I took them off when I got home, and now my 5ev3n can see my eyes better.

I have an urge to do something nice for love_sati, but can't for the life of me think of anything.
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May need 5ev3n's help with this...*evil grin* [30 Aug 2004|06:07pm]
ERROR IN ENCRYPTION...

PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER DISK.

C:\run

INOPERABLE COMMAND. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ANOTHER?

C:\help

INOPERABLE COMMAND. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ANOTHER?

C:\fuck you

THE SYSTEM REGRETS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR DISK IS FLOPPY.

ABORT? RETRY? FAIL?
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Bad Day! [24 Aug 2004|11:28pm]
Strange day today. I drove my slick, black, sexy little car into a pothole, flipped it, rolled over, and broke my shades. THEN, as I pulled myself from the smoldering wreckage, a little black dog came over and pissed upon my shoes, it began to rain, AND the bakery was out of apple turnovers.

So I went home and called 5ev3n, but she was out, so I left a message for her...

*message on answering machine*

"Hi, baby, it's me. Smith. I love you, and I'm having a bad day. I was wondering if we could hang out again? We've not been around each other for awhile, and I miss you. Oh, crap, doll, I've got to go - I was trying to bake cookies but I forgot the oven mitt inside the oven, and the cookies are in flames. Gotta go! Kiss-kiss!"
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[17 Aug 2004|05:07pm]
I keep leaving and coming back, over and over. Sorry about that, particularly to my love, 5ev3n. If you're interested, I'm throwing a shindig just for us at my house. Bring your favorite movie and beverage...I'll supply the...enterTAINment.

*grins*
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Sadness for My One [10 Aug 2004|05:14pm]
5ev3n, my beloved 5ev3n...her mother has deleted herself. I don't know what to do...I wish I had Power, more Power, the Power to set this situation back so she will be happy.

But for now...all I can offer is my love and devotion...I told her this:

'I wish I could fix things for you...to bring her back...but unfortunately, this particular thing is out of my hands. It will work out, though, Love...you'll see.

*continues to hold you and feels a strange liquid sliding forth from his eyes for the first time ever*

I love you, and I am upset greatly that such things are happening to the One I love...if there's anything you need...anything you want me to do...simply let me know.

I am so sorry...*continues to hold you*'


And I messed with the coding on the rose in my yard...so I could pick it for you, 5ev3n, without having it die...so it will always stay vibrant and new. Think of me as you look at it, and know that I see the beauty and strength of this in you...I love you, and I am so sorry.



Love,
Smith

=====

OOC note: I actually did take that photo from my backyard.
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Update [09 Aug 2004|10:32pm]
I saw Niobe the other day. Of course, I kept my distnace. She may be on "the other side", across from me as far as this good/evil thing goes. However, she is one tough woman - not that I couldn't beat her, it's just I wouldn't want to even try because, in a way, I have respect for her. She's so agressive and in your face, and the times I've approached her, in attempts to intimidate her, she never batted an eye, looking me straight in the eyes, showing no fear. THAT is...disturbing.

Anyway, I've been practicing with the lovely katana that 5ev3n gave me...*listens to its smooth slicing sound through the air*

I also was notified by the Oracle that she'd like to talk to me. I don't know what about...I hope she's not still too upset about that whole taking-over-her-body thing. It was all done out of POWER, after all, and is Power ever really THAT bad?

Don't answer that.

*cackles*

There's a carnival this weekend...My Love, would you like to accompany me? It might be fuuuuuun. *puts on his best, most devilish charm*
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[06 Aug 2004|07:04pm]
There is a single, gorgeous rose outside my window right now.

It makes me think of you.

You know who you are...so delicate and beautiful, yet wonderfully agressive as well. Just like that flower's petals and thorns.

My heart is a little sponge...the bad getting squeezed out, replaced by good.

But, of course...I shall always have a love of doing devilish deeds. Bwahaha.
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[04 Aug 2004|06:06pm]
I have a headache...feeling a bit under the weather for the past few days, so I'm going on a much needed vacation...at my house.

I shall be there if any of you...especially one in particular...should need me.

I also need to defragment my lawn. It's turned pink - I have no idea why. Stupid glitches.
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Looking Forward to Our River Date [02 Aug 2004|01:28pm]
5ev3n, my love, got me the most amazing gift! Check her niche to see what it is. *winks* I simply adore it! And luckily, she liked the gifts I got her as well. *beams*

Also, tonight she and I are going to the river...just to spend some lovely time together.

All weekend, while doing various Agent-y errands, I thought of her...and I missed her so much.

I can't wait until I get to see her tonight. I will write about our lovely night tomorrow, most likely.

That is, of course, unless it's too personal. I do like my privacy sometimes, you know. *winks*

I'm turning into such a soft-heart.

Oh, and GREAT news! I gave 5ev3n's father, mist3r_4nd3rs0n, my earpiece...and he accepted it! That is...WONderful.

Here's to us, 5ev3n. *bows*
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Just a Little Something... [30 Jul 2004|11:17pm]
I'm back from scouring The Matrix for something nice for 5ev3n...Phew! Trying to buy gifts for someone is hard.

*approaches 5ev3n's residence, adjusts tie, and rings the bell*

*door opens...*



surprise!Collapse )

I have a few other gifts as well, but you will have to wait for them...until another lovely moment arises.

Oh, but WAIT! There is one other thing that can't wait...because...

it's here if you want it...take your pick!Collapse )

I don't know if you like them or not...but I have a soft spot for such things lately...ever since I got Mitzi...who is doing great, by the way. Great and...ferocious! *chuckles*

Anyway, my Love, I know my gifts aren't much...I hope you feel as I do in that our company and time spent together is by far the best gift of all.

I am turning into a greeting card writer.

*hangs head down quickly and covers up his mouth, but not quickly enough to cover up a genuine smile...which could be thought of as creepy by anyone who didn't know it for what it was - a sign of elated joy*
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My Gift to Her Father [30 Jul 2004|03:21pm]
In an attempt at setting 5ev3n's father, mist3r_4nd3rs0n, at ease...I have...

...*touches the cord of his earpiece*

...well...*unplugs himself, then hands it to mist3r_4nd3rs0n. I hope that means...something to him.

I could think of nothing else that might ease his worries. I understand his concern...I just hope things work out for the best.

*stays optimistic*

Kisses for my love,
Smith
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An Agent in Love [30 Jul 2004|12:23am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

[alright, so a silly internet doodad can't even come close to her beauty...but the thought has to count for something. *grin*]

I have finally found someone I can spend time with and learn about human emotions with. She is positively wonderful and beautiful and she makes me forget all about the misconceptions people have about me - that I'm emotionless, scary, and cold-hearted.

I've been wandering around all day, thinking only of her. I have no idea what to get her for a gift, but I shall keep looking. I will find something sweet that she will love...something that will make her think of me.

Oh, Smith, you feisty little devil, you. Trying so hard to shield yourself from human emotions - how little did I know I was missing out on something so wonderful!

Tonight...we shared kisses...5ev3n and I, together...I just...never thought I could let myself get that close to someone. I put my reputation on the line, giving in to something that I knew could either make me or break [*chuckles at his cliche*], yet...I believe it has already begun to make me!

And...she...she said she loves me! And I...I think I may love her too.

Oh, you are indeed turning out to be a most human-like creature, Smith. But it feels so wonderful...

I...hope 5ev3n will go with me to the river soon. I love it there, and even if it isn't real, it's still very beautiful. With stars and slumbering duckies...

Oh, heavens, I feel so happy I am saying things like "duckies".

*chuckles*

*kicks up his heels, pirhouettes, and notices random people staring at him in the middle of the street*

[addressing people in the street]

WHAT?! Haven't you ever seen an Agent in love before?! Go on - shoo! I'll let you get away...THIS time.

*smiles and saunters off*

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