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Point the first: I liked the nearly complete lack of plot points. There were some, yes, but it was mostly headshot headshot headshot reload headshot headshot judo bodyshot headshot headshot to guy in judo hold reload...

Point the second: As noted above, they didn't change the style of Wick's violence. Despite the somewhat ludicrous accumulation of bodies and injuries, I still heartily approve of his minimalist style of gun kata: Headshot. If can't do a headshot, shoot other places until you can do a headshot. If too close to shoot, grapple (try again to shoot, just in case), kill whoever is an immediate threat in the perimeter, then, yes, headshot. It requires plenty of ammo that you're forced to scavenge along the way, but it's very efficient: you just can't kill that many people in a normal-sized movie if you're going to have long shootouts with each of them. I briefly wondered while watching the movie how the world must feel to somebody like him: everybody's so *slow*, and they shoot bizarrely at almost random places. Does John Wick fight with guns like Jedis would fight with guns? (to steal a comment I made about the Speed Racer movie) You know, maybe he does. He does have the nearly supernatural speed and precision you need to stop a blaster with a lightsaber.

Point the third: They spent a bit more time exploring the insane world of the movie, and it's *adorable*. There's a bit about a worldwide council of crime that felt boring (and, god, why do we always have to have a weird stylish "European" party or two in almost every movie?), but the important fact is that the world of the movie is absolutely full of weirdly overlapping criminal fraternities with insanely complex resources and networks. It's hilarious. And of course there's The Continental. Wherever you travel to, I do recommend staying there (and oh my god their back-office... my soul was filled with so much squee at their back-office).

Point the fourth: The bad guy's main bodyguard was quietly interesting, but I felt she was underused. Would've liked to know more about her backstory.

My summary is the one I've seen in every review: if you liked the first movie, you're very likely to like this one, and if you didn't, then you probably won't.


Caveat: I see Tims everywhere

My memories of the movie are admittedly vague (and I didn't read the book), but wouldn't The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo be a good Tim Drake AU?


The more I think about Batman vs Superman, the less sense it makes. Even disregarding the hailstorm of idiot balls hitting everybody, what sorts Batman fights do we see? Two relatively Batman-y ones, true, the one at the beginning and the one at the end when he rescues Martha Kent, but the main ones are the chase scene, where he spends more bullets per minute than Punisher crashing a mob meeting, and the one where he fights Superman in full weapons plus power suit plus kryptonite mode.

What we don't see, what we are taunted with, is him breaking into LexCorp to steal the kryptonite. We're shown enough to know it must've been epic, but between Bruce's "resolved face" (and, really, World's Best Detective (not that he *ever* has been that in any of the damn movies, which might be the worst of the oversights, given how the Holmes movies have shown us that it can do well commercially), in what world would a Superman gone bad kill everybody with a damn explosion? That's not even one of his powers! He'd burn everybody, collapse the building, tear them down to cells, whatever, but nothing non-explodable would explode!) and Lex riding into his front gate to see ambulances drive away, and inside a wrecked building and a damn batarang nailed to where the kryptonite was... Batman must've teared through everything, and, assuming he didn't use weapons, it must've been glorious.

That's the Batman movie I want to see: half a Holmes movie, half The Raid (or a quarter Holmes, a quarter The Raid, a quarter Matches Malone noir, and a quarter of humorous Brucie and Alfred shenanigans).

We're more likely to see the Budapest Black Widow-plus-Hawkeye spy movie than that one, but one can dream about a better world.


Fate wasn't kind to me today

Trapped downtown by a traffic collapse, and after whiling away time in three different coffee shops, I went into a theater and watched Underworld: Blood Wars. What a ridiculous movie.

What a ridiculous series. The opening consists of the protagonist narrating I was *premise of the first move*. And then *events of the first movie*. And then *absurd development in the second movie*. And then *absurd development in the third movie* (or maybe that was the fourth; one of those was an even more absurd prequel). I'm not lying about the repeated And then.... It sounded like a kid making up a story on the spot, but how else can you connect such a barrage of plot developments?

This last movie pretty much throws the plot arc kitchen sink against the wall and shoots the pieces (in both the cinematographic and ballistic senses of the word). I think I can spot the exact moment where they just gave up on the whole thing: Spoilers, obviously.Collapse )

What a ridiculous movie. Could've been funny-ridiculous, but you can tell they are still sort of pretending anybody cares about coven politics and whatnot.


Spoilery, but brief.Collapse )

As usual, that's about 15% of everything that happened there. So much drama.

Now that I've finished watching those movies, maybe I can come back to what was supposed to be an extremely busy and focused month professionally speaking.

Ah, whatever. What was the point of buying a large TV I didn't need if I'm not going to sit on the floor right in front of it with diet Coke and chocolate to watch martial arts movies when I should be in bed?


Continuing my martial arts movie spam...

Watched Sword of Destiny (the Netflix sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) last night. I don't know if that was by design, but it was as trope-y a movie as you could imagine. Except for one or two details, you see everything coming from leagues away. It's not always a bad thing, but in this case I think it detracts from the movie (or maybe it was just the juxtaposition of the WTF-a-minute of The Four).

The visuals, though, were exceedingly pretty. There's something about a Chinese courtyard under the moon that almost demands silent thieves, sudden fights, and talks with ghosts.


I needed the bit of glee, to be honest

Just finished watching The Four, an adorably bonkers and famous (in China, which means, in absolute terms, famous) wuxia movie that's so rich with stuff going on that the fact that the protagonist is a werewolf was only touched upon twice, and had no impact at all in the plot, except for his sense of smell. One of the two times the werewolf thing was actually shown was when he turned into one and attacked his colleges, but nobody ever mentioned it again. That's Torchwood levels of shoulder shrugging.

The zombie army had a bit more screen time, but not as much as the love triangle, the interdepartmental jurisdictional conflicts, or the ultimately inexplicable counterfeiting plot.

An important observation for people coming to the movie from a traditional Western fannish tradition: one vertex of the love triangle is basically young-female-orphan!Charles Xavier, if Xavier were also telekinetic and had a pet bird called, if the Spanish subtitles didn't lie to me, "Wings." She even has the mandatory telepathically controlled self-propelled wheelchair, which is quite impressive for wuxia!China, although not so much when you realize she's friends with a technopath martial artist blacksmith.

I definitely needed something like this.

PS: In other "Marcelo is the last person in the world to watch something" news, yesterday I watched my first Red vs. Blue season. It's funnier than I had expected, and the now outdated visuals actually add to the charm.


You know that fictional trope about an experience, short as it might be, being so traumatic, so nonsensical, that it ages significantly those who somehow survive it?

Well, the plot of Mechanic: Resurrection has so many soul-crushing plot holes and (simultaneously, somehow) so much unnecessary plot frippery that when the movie began I was thirty-six years old, and when it ended I was thirty-seven.

*cue wolf howling in he distance*

True fact, bad joke. But also bad movie. There's something about Jason Statham franchises beginning with a B-level iconic character (the Stock Statham Character might not be a cultural touchstone, but it's a reliable archetype) and then decaying exponentially. I still remember Transporter 3 with fond horrified dismay. I'm so glad there was no Revolver 2.


Who you gonna DM?

Ghostbusters did comfortably pass my litmus test of a Ghostbusters movie: I came out of the theater singing the theme song and wishing I had a proton pack.



cass, can you not

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