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Time:06:35 pm
Michel has just arrived, I am really excited to hear his band...the first chance I got was cut short. It is kinda odd being in front of a stage and not on it, but I couldn't anyways without steve. I really want to get drunk tonight, and see what I see.

*Yells Loudly to Sin* Hello...is Christian here yet? I am really looking forward to the rest of the night.

I can't wait to see what happens .
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Time:09:31 pm
singeli_sauvage has invited me to stay with her at her home outside of the city. This is normally not a move I would make, but she has been so kind to me, and christians_bar seems to trust her very much. I am really impressed on how christian took my confession about that night ten years ago. There are very painful memories from that night...but if Christian can forgive and I think it is important that so do I. There must be a reason that we are all coming back together like this...
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Time:12:40 am
Current Mood:drunkdrunk
I don't know exactly why I am here. I don't know what I am supposed to say, but since I am here I suppose I will try and set some things straight.

First, Christian, I didn't stab you that night, Steve did, not that it makes any difference but maybe it does I did pull the knife out of your heart though, and then, yes, used it to stab Zillah in the head. and doing that was the hardest thing i ever did but you were going to kill my friend, my best friend...and one of my friends had already died that night she and her unborn child, Nothing's brother or sister I never WANTED to kill anybody, but Steve would have killed for me, and that is what i thought i did. I am not one for exscuses, and I don't really understand why You, Christian, or you Zillah, are alive...and I have no real expectations of your feelings, or that you would understand mine...but liken it to someone attacking Nothing...someone tearing Nothing from the inside out. You would do the same. As I said, I am not making excscuses, only showing that maybe in this small way, our nature, vampire and mortal, is really not that different...we will kill for the ones we love.

Zillah, if you want me dead...then maybe you should ask Nothing why he didn't kill me when he had the chance, or have Molochai or Twig do it...if you still want me dead...maybe they should finish the job now...I don't really want to die, as I am sure you didn't...and from the looks of things you were given some kind of second chance for what reason i don't know All I do know is that Ann sure as hell didn't get a second chance, she didn't have a fucking chance once you got inside of her...and as far as I know, this is the only chance we got, me and steve...the only life, unless someone older tells us differently As far as I see it, we are all here for something, for some purpose...and I don't think that purpose is to sit and be angry.

Christian, I am touched that you saw my face that night that you "died" or whatever...I know you wanted a beautiful death...but even though it was steve and not me...well, to me it would be just the same...he has his own beauty that even you haven to see.

I don't know if any of this makes any difference...if I should even be bringing up these long ago spirits there are enough in this city to last for ever

*takes a sip of Night Train* I don't know what else to say.
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Time:10:41 am
Bus rides are always too long, and you can't bring wine onto the coach...
I am in New Orleans...and it smells just like my dreams...and there, I see Christian's bar, I guess it is now or never, time to walk into the past I suppose

"Hello, I am here now..."
*Looks about nervously*
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Time:10:12 am
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
I have been doing a lot of thinking, and with no feedback from Steve, I have decided to seek out Christian on my own. I bought a bus ticket to New Orleans that leaves tonight. I guess he will just have to follow me if he wants to come along...maybe it is time now that I do something on my own.
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Time:11:59 pm
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
*Ghost is sitting out on the front porch of the house he shares with steve. Steve is gone, and Ghost is alone except for the dim scowl of the pumpkin that has been carved lit up for the season. Ghost is deep in thought, emotion is pooring from him.*

I have been feeling a bit neglected lately...I know there are things to do, there are spirits to visit, but I can't make a move without him. I can't do that to him, I can't just leave...and part of it, well, as I am sure you already know, I am afraid to go by myself. And not only that, but I don't want to have this experience on my own...we began it together, we should continue to travel on together. I am getting restless though, and this jack-o-lantern is poor company.
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Time:11:24 am
Current Mood:confusedconfused
*ghost opens his a eyes from a deep sleep* I had it, I had it again...that dream, about meeting Christian...I'm walking down Rue de Chartres, I could smell the spices in the air, the cooking sea-food, the rot from the river. I look up, and see the sign Christian's. I notice the stained glass window still is broken and covered with cardboard. The smell of the bar overtakes me, the smell of liquor spilled on dulled, aged wood, the smoke of cigarettes long put out.
I walk into the bar, and there are others there, but they are all cast in shadow, except one, Christian. He is asking for help, and I offer myself up to him. He smiles at me graciously, unknowingly...then the shade of recoginition covers his face...He smiles at me, welcomes me, and extends his hand in a gesture of friendship...I extend my hand to take his...and that is where I wake up.

I have to get to New Orleans, I have to get to Christian...well, if Christian is really alive(and if he is alive, that may mean the others are too) I am sure after Steve hears my dream, he will understand that there is a need. What it is, I am not sure yet, except there are my own questions that I need answered. There can't be any more hesitation. We have to go now...soon

Steve?
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Time:06:09 pm
I hope steve fills up that old t-bird soon...I have a desire to go to the french quarter...and to finally visit christian's bar.
i hope i hope i hope i hope i hope .....
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