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14 February 2007 @ 10:30 pm
sigh  
 
 
Music: jewel
 
 
23 January 2007 @ 06:02 pm
So we did it again
Knowing we should quit it, but we simply won't admit it again
Oh it feels good, it's so good, but I won't do it again
It's so dramatic again
After we go at it, we get mad then we go at it again
Oh I love it, then I hate it, she's my favorite again
I'm wasting time
I can't help it she's so fine
Oh I like her style
And I love the way she talks and I smile
As much as we may try
Can't quite see eye to eye
So in the meantime, I guess we say bye-bye

(And again and again and again)
Oh, and then, we do it again
We do it again and we do it again
Oh, and then, we do it again
We want it again, and we want it again

So we fake it again
I think we're gonna blow it, and we know it
But she's naked again
We get wasted, then I taste it, then I waste it again
I can't invite her again
'Cause she'll go from a lover to a fighter
And I'll fight her again
So it's over, but I told her to come over again
I'm wasting time
But she's always on my mind
I can't let her go
Oh, she's not the best, but she's all that I know
As much as we may try
Can't quite see eye to eye
So in the meantime I guess we say bye-bye

(And again and again and again)
Oh, and then, we do it again
We do it again and we do it again
Oh, and then, we do it again
We want it again, and we want it again

So I've got a new friend
I wish I could forget you
But I miss you, wanna kiss you again
She's like you, but she's not you, gotta find you again
So we remember again
The middle of December and I took you out to dinner again
Oh I love her, it's not over, just another again

(And again and again and again)
Oh, it's another again-
I love her, it's another again...

 
 
12 December 2006 @ 10:18 pm
A story......

setting ( kindergarten room, a child named leonard is drawing)

Me-  "Leonard, what are you drawing?"
Leonard- " A vampire. my mom says her boss is like a vampire. She gets in trouble with her boss all the time. He yells at her. and she gets fired a lot too. "
Me- " Oh, okay."
Leonard- " Ya my mom says my dad is the devil. He is the devil."
Me- " Okay Leonard."

Another time.......

Mario- " Does your mom kiss your dad?"
Roshawna- " My mom kisses my dad ALL the time!!"
Kids- " Ewwwwwwwww"
Mario- " Ya my mom likes to make out with my dad everyday!!"
Kids- "ewwwwwwww"


Awww...from the mouths of babes. 

.
 
 
28 November 2006 @ 09:36 pm

Carly's 5 jobs

Monday/WednesdayThursday/Friday-   Kindergarten (Assistant Teacher...Im miss Carly hehe)
Tuesday-    Special Ed Bowling
Nights/Weekends-  Catering
Weekends (day)-  Community Projects/Events (ex. Veteran's day ceremony, Halloween Carnivals)

And occasionally on my day off--- Sunday ---  I clean a house or two

Wow...I am quite busy, but I love it.

P.s. What do you want for Christmas??? You know who you are.      

 
 
21 November 2006 @ 09:41 pm
contagious contagious
away from it all
where the empty corridors of my mind remain
contagious contagious
a hope that is lost
a fight for the breath, that is caught
contagious contagious
once lost in your arms
i drive to the place where all is left are the remains
contagious contagious
i think back on you
a light in a tunnel always dark
contagious contagious
what can i do
the track ran leads to the same face
in the reflection i gaze
contagious contagious
how should i know
contagious contagious
 
 
 
11 November 2006 @ 02:00 am
the love of my life was born on wed. and when i hold her in my arms, and look at that face...that face that is innocent, that has not experienced the pain of the world...it makes me want to cry. because i love her so much. i dont want her to go through things. i dont want her to become withered and exhausted from the world as i am. and it seems if i could hold her forever, maybe i could change it. we were so worried. all this time. i sat with my mom and cried with her...i hugged her. the pain on her face was clear to me. and everything ended up all right. Iona is beautiful, breathing, and amazing. someone once said that you knew you truly love someone if you can feel not only their happiness, but their pain as well.  that is how i know that i love my mother..selflessly...that we posses that connection. i can feel hers, and she can fel mine as well.

sometimes...i want to scream and puch and yell...
other times i want to weep and lay in someones arms like a small child
and then other times i breathe in the air, look at the beauty around me....and i thank god that even though we experience pain...we are alive. the pain tells us that we are able to grow...to move on...to not be defined by these tradjedies. it gives us hope that one day...maybe not today,  maybe not even tomorow, but someday, we will be whole again

I do not forgive you, Faceless,  and i will never forget you. I AM angry. it has taken me too long to realize that. it has taken to many therapy sessions to know i am allowed to feel that way.  I am angry with you. I detest you. I hope that you can feel this way one day. and i do not forgive you. never will i. but i will not let you define me. and i will not let you hold me back from living. thank you. thank you for branding me with this. thank you for sleeping soundly..while i lay awake. but most of all...thank you sir...for giving me stormy skies. for it makes me appreciate the sun so much more.
 
 
01 November 2006 @ 08:33 pm
I have an A plus in ingles. woot! that is exciting for me. 

My mommy's stomach looks like a basketball under her shirt. ahaha she is due any day. 

I wanna meet someone new. whom i can have some deep spiritual connection with. who is about poetry and art. that is my one wish.
 
 
29 October 2006 @ 01:37 pm

I am reading the bible. it is very interesting. a lovely piece of Literature

" Oh Virgin daughter of Zion?
For your ruin is as vast as the Sea;
Who can heal you?"
Lamentations 2:13

"Let him who is without sin among you
be the first to throw a stone at her"
John 8:7

 
 
27 October 2006 @ 05:18 pm
I am sick

sick of hearing peoples complaints of how hard their life is just because, what, you can't go to the party on sat. night, or what, your boyfriend broke up with you. get over it please. worse things in life happen. stop saying how depressed you are, how you wanna kill yourself, how life isnt fair. how everything bad always happens to you. because if you really think about it, you have never experienced true, real pain.

sick of my flashbacks

sick of all of this ignorance in the world. about everything. 

sick of the headaches that never go away

sick of paying so much for a pack of cigarettes

sick of otibho being so far away

sick of living in this place. this place where all my ghosts constantly brush past me.

i am sick. and tired. 

no this was not a direct insult or implication towards anyone. so please spare me from your hurt feelings. thank you
 
 
24 October 2006 @ 06:19 pm
I have no regrets. 

I loved him. He loved me. I spent his last days, hours, and minutes sitting next to him. I can't change how God's mind works. I wish I could bring him back. We were more alike than ayone else I have ever met.  Strange...how a 17 year old girl and a 70 year old man can be so much alike. But we were. 

I walked into his room, and before me stood emptiness. I miss him. 

I didn't cry. when he died, I didn't really cry. But when I got my rat Maragrita put to sleep, I cried. Me, my mom, and my sister sobbed in the Vet's office. My sister is a little kid, my mom is 38 weeks pregnant. so what was my excuse.