I am an enormous, selfish prat, doing this to him.
I can't even look at him.
It's bothering me more now.
There are no words.
And I can't turn to drinking, like he can.
I do have that gillyweed..
I randomly lost my trainer today. It was beside my bed last night, but now it's gone. I looked all over for it, under my bed, in my trunk, beside Pete's stuff, but no luck. It's gone. Into the void. Lost forever and ever and ever. It was a good trainer, too, I bought it with my own money, the first time I ever did so and it was worth it. They were black and canvas and had white soles and there was a little circle with the name "Chuck" in the circle and I dunno who the hell Chuck is but I like the shoes and now one is gone and I looked everywhere and its just not fair, no luck, nothing of the sort, unjust and whathaveyou.
Know what else is random? My bed is very uncomfortable this year. I've never really noticed it before but it's sort of cold and damp and so isolated from everyone else and I always feel like they don't want me around when I go to it because it's away and cast aside and
Jamesisn'tinit I just remembered how lame it is now.
Merlin, I hate sleep. Which is good because it's not like I've been getting a lot of it anyway and I don't even mind, not one bit but it is rather awkward to just be lying in my cold damp isolated bed for a few hours staring at the canopy before realising that sleep is not going to be happening and then having to get out of bed and go to the common room and do something to take my mind off of
him how I can't sleep so then I do a crossword but everything reminds me of I can never think of the right words, you know? Isn't that the worst? It is the worst. Simply awful. Deadful business.
Oh wait, there's my trainer.
hearing: blink-182 - going away to college