I have a job, it's shit but still a job & that means money towards me running away from this hell hole.
I still have a boy, time's running out though. I'm scared and sad but it seems inevitable.
I'll take it as it comes, i guess.
I do hate how things have become, I feel lost & bored, i want to get lost in the literal sense. I don't want to know what's happening tomorrow, i want someone to love spending every waking moment with me, knowing someone so well that they can finish my sentences, like it was in school. You'd spend hours with the people you love the most and yet it's completely taken for granted, I'd give anything to be back there. Give a hug to every person that made me smile and laugh. They made me who i am so they deserve a little credit.
I need that belonging, knowing someone will always have my back and listen to my whinging or random ideas. I want to feel like my dreams can come true and i'm the only person who can make them happen. I don't want to rely on them, i want to just know they'll be there. No matter what. Days mean eveything, whether they're good or bad, i want to be grateful of the hours i've spent. I want life long memories, not looking back and wondering how it could've been. I don't want my heart to heal, it shouldn't have to. I want it to be scarred forever.