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Diana...

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[13 Dec 2005|08:34pm]
compunctious

New livejournal.
You know what to do.
Kiss me?

[11 Dec 2005|02:49pm]
A few minutes ago, Braeden and I compiled a list of Superhero characters the RHSP also goes by.

Captain Emo - Ian Miller
He knows everything about anything.
Captain Emo brought us all together using his prep scene sckrmeaomrz0z0z good l00kz wutuwutuwtuwutwutuwtuwut
hot hot hot hot
ian + mint bitches.

Pineboy- Patrick Charboneau
He loves The Pine, and is capable of growing a full beard in a matter of moments, Pineboy uses his amazing hairyness to defend the group in times of need by deflecting all harmful incoming attacks from the world of conformity.

Blandman- Nik Ganderton
Capable of reversing time through his ultra slow driving.

Charles Skrammington the third, First mate of Emo- Braeden Corkery or B-Cork
Captain Emo's sidekick, and long-time protege.When I was first introduced to Braeden a year ago,I'm pretty sure he liked Dashboard or something.
But no one cares, he's outdone everyone except Cap'n Emo himself by now.
Braeden may well be the only one of us with normal hair.
He may be a closet nu-metal-head because of that.
No one knows for sure.

Hardcore harijuko girl- Diana Danaila
Hardcore Harijuko Girl: First Mint bitch of Richmond Hill Skram, she uses her promiscuity to sway the opinions of others and get them listening to the real music.
Her love for post rock has aspired into somewhat of a disgusting habit.. many an intervention has occured.
Diana is a master of disguise, capable of being aZn or a scene kid with little to no effort.



Pseudo-normal kids with amazing taste in music by day, and SUPERHEROES BY NIGHT!
8 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[10 Dec 2005|12:19am]




            Just forget me, it's that simple.












 
7 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

"Old habits die hard..." "That doesn't mean they don't." [03 Dec 2005|12:42pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

C'mon just say it...You need me like a bad habit.Collapse )

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

8 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[24 Nov 2005|08:44pm]
Hey,apparently:
a) I'm a whore.
b) I have HIV
c) I don't give a flying fuck about what's going around the school.

Luckily, only c) is true.


"Put your hands in the air, scream 'FUCK THE WORLD!'... "

love it,
Diana.
5 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[17 Nov 2005|11:25pm]
On the bus ride downtown the other day, Paulie mentioned how my livejournal entries only show my moods at various extremes.
So now,I will write something when I'm comfortably numb to just about everything...

Lately, I haven't been myself at all, and I feel really out of it.
Thus, I have stopped trying , in school, in life ,etc.
Now you know why I show up in sweats or PJs every day.
I have pretty much given up on being the amazing person I wanted to be, and I guess that's disappointing in a way.
I have been having a lot of mood swings lately, which reminds me of this time, last year.
Last November was by far the worst month of my life.
And now,I feel like I've come back to it in a way.

I am blessed to have amazing friends that care about me;who will hold my hand as I pretty much fall apart on public transit.
But sometimes, not even the best of friends can make me feel any better.
I'm sure you all understand what it's like.

My life isn't all that bad...
Really,it's not.
I get my fair share of disappointment and so on, but I think I deserve it.
It's karma.
A couple of weeks ago, upon meeting someone, I proceeded to let someone else down.
This person did not deserve it at all; they are so genuine and sincere...
and they deserve so much better.

I am an awful person.
I have fucked enough people over.
I have hurt a lot of undeserving people, from one of my best friends, to countless boys I've dated.

So I guess I had this comming.


I guess I can't get any more open than this...



Actually, I'll mention one more thing:
My fear of being alone.

I am famous for it.
Out of our circle of friends, I'm the one that's always seeing countless boys at the same time, or one after another, etc.
And I hate myself for it.
I hate myself for never being happy when I am alone.
I always need to love and be loved...
But then again, don't we all.
And thus, I have hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve it.
And on 3 distinct occasions...
Myself.

On 3 different occasions, I have put my trust into what I though were sincere, deserving people.
And then promptly got fucked over.

All of this unnecesary bulshit drama, because one person is so goddamn insecure.



I don't think I can get much more honest than this.


Love always,

Diana.
3 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[16 Nov 2005|06:45pm]
Fucking Toronto Sun misquoted me.
Bastards.

And the guy who interviewed me, needs to go see a barber or something.
Oh, and a very polite introduction to my good friends, shampoo, and soap.

Oh,and an anus..
'Cause he's FULL OF SHIT.






:) the end
1 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[06 Nov 2005|12:32am]
[ mood | blissful and content<3 ]

Dear journal,trusted friend,whatever,

I have come to the conclusion that everything is beautiful;I need not be in love to see that.
Maybe a little...with myself,with the world.

Yes,the world is a fucked up place,but that's why I love it.

I see beauty all around me...
I see it in the woman eating an apple on the bus.
The papers pinned on my wall.
In a photograph of a girl crying.
Couples holding hands.
Fall's amber leaves falling,spiralling down around me and leaving me in awe.

*sigh*

I am hopelesssss.

Learn to love it.



Love,
Diana.

2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

&scream(ineedtohearyouloudernow) [02 Nov 2005|02:47pm]
Darling ,

this is 
   another letter
 that you’ll never read.

it’s about a girl,
with a melody 

                                   trapped
inside her,
that just won’t get out .


as constant as her affection,

it                           never leaves
     her head.

singitaloudsingitaloud.

the screams that              get stuck.
get stuck.
get stuck.
inside her throat.


and the fractures that remain.
and the impenetrable shield that covers her from

everyone
everything

except for you.




[(stories always seem so much less personal when written
in the third person.)
they hurt so much 

less…]

sometimes,
i think we both play pretend.
i feign indifference,
and you pretend you care.

but it all ends soon enough.

inevitably,
you will return
and i will take you


back.


                                            i  am so scared…

so vulnerable.
so dependent.


i am nothing.
i am everything.




this is so weak...
the quality of my writing is seriously deteriorating.
gah.




love...
1 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[27 Oct 2005|10:42pm]
endless entrapment;
life is far too funny to be taken seriously.

like your tongue in her mouth,
and her hand down your pants.

tell me if she's as good as me.

i'll be your blow-up doll,your whore,
nothing more than a sexual experiment.
all this and more,
just for those 3 seconds you hold me for...
after you're done with me.

all this and more,
just to feel your heart against mine.

as if the sunsets,hands held,love letters,were nothing more than a prelude
to the debauchery that followed.

the i-love-yous whispered,
as meaningless as the condoms left on the floor.

as meaningless as me.

darling,
if only you'd give me the time of day...

not that saturday night once a month,
spent fucking in the backseat of your car.

i am worth more than that.
(i'm really not)
[i'm really,really,really not]



it's alright,
i was never one for fairytale endings anyway.

broken hearts,and bloodied wrists, always seemed ideal.(not)
and the nights spent crying to no one in particular.(no one listens)
and the way you make me feel when you name drop.(one of my favorite things)




cinderella didn't lose her glass slipper;
she shattered it and stabbed herself in the heart with it.

poor lovelorn bitch.
3 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[15 Oct 2005|02:23pm]
And then, like the little girl I am,I fell apart...

in your arms.

I melted...
into you.

And just like a million times before,
Our lips met.
Our lips met.
Our lips met.

And like a million times   before,

The touches          got heavier,

Our lips still brushing against 
       each other's.

Our clothes comming off.

And just like a million times before,
  you're inside me,
  and I'm so close to tears.
      I'm so close to tears.



 "Am I winning now?"
    "Am I winning now?" 

The words rise into the air
     like steam.

And I feel 
  
so stupid.

For running back.
For undressing.
For being here.
For liking it.

And my hips continue to rock against yours,

My nails digging into your back,

My breath hot against your neck,
whispering:

"Harder...
 Make it hurt like it should."
1 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

#1 [15 Oct 2005|11:22am]
Bathed in neon orange glow,
We walk,
        and talk.

We talk about the way things used to be
And the way they are now;
About how once upon a time,
I was naive,
and you were
              charming.

And 
                                 sudddenly
 I stop in my tracks,
to speak;


"Sometimes, I wish this was all
a         very,
very, bad dream.
Sometimes I wish you just left me



with that summer in my head;
perfection.


Because you loving me forever

would have sickened me,
It would have made me 

strong.

And that is not what I want to be.

I want to 

drowndrowndrown

in my ocean of self-pity.





And besides," I smile,"I like always having something to write about."
Kiss me?

[11 Oct 2005|07:44pm]
I am the girl lying on your bed, 
 undone as a loose corset.

I am the girl crying into your pillow,
  broken as the china cup from your grandmother's cupboard, that you shattered when you were 5.

I am the girl arching her back on top of you, 
  erotic as a french hooker.

I am the girl who lies with her lips pressed against yours;
   I never did like honesty.

I am the girl who twists and turns beside you at night;
   I'd rather be somewhere else,with someone else.

As cheap as a piece of hotpinkbubblegum, the kind you get in the grocery store machines,
As beautiful as garbage,
As articulate as a poet,
As naive as a child,
As innocent as a gun.
This is who I am.
Who I want to be.

I am the girl...
                Lying in your bed.
4 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[08 Oct 2005|07:32pm]
Happy birthday to...Me :).
11 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[05 Oct 2005|03:02pm]

Another year has passed

A year full of
                    disappointment,
        friendships and          lossthereof.

Betrayal,love            lust
              and

  everything in between.

Lies,     and waking up in
                        other people
 's beds.
(or floors)

  Nobody ever said how easy
  it is to
      fall
          out
             of
               love.
Or how hard it is to forget.

Because,to tell you the truth,
                  the memories still haunt me.

And I wake up,and look for
your body beside mine in
                          bed

    but I fall asleep,with nothing
no one      keeping me

                       warm.

You say I hurt you,
                And I agree.

But only I know
               exactly how many

boys I've kissed to forget about
              you.


That's a lie.
             I don't either.

    Or how many cigarettes smoked,
    bottles emptied
                    hearts broken
    condoms used
                    lies told

    it took me to get 

                     here.
 
     nowhere.

                  anywhere.
9 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[19 Sep 2005|09:24pm]
Dear diary,
I could choose to sink to their level,but I will not.
I do not need to explain my actions from the previous night to anyone,but one person.
The rest of you, stop being self-fucking-righteous.
Stop being hypocrites.
Stop talking about it.
I thought you were all a bit more mature than that.

For those of you who have been acting like complete assholes/bitches, I hope that one day, your common sense will return, and we can be friends again.
I will always forgive and forget if need be.



Love,
Diana.
4 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

number eight ==//.. [16 Sep 2005|03:30pm]
[ mood | tired ]

         &I am the girl who 
             lives in an ether of 
       sighs
        and occasionally looks
 up
                    at god-knows-what.

 


               cigarettes& cigarettes,
              and my very own
                      endless
                       spiral
to nowhere.

 "Smile," he whispered,
                    for lack of anything better
                                       to say.



The demand ammounted to
                   nolhing in the
 end.

      Now there I
go
forgetting to cross my Ts.









                             xxdianalovelovelove

2 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[11 Sep 2005|12:37am]
      
[info]___carxcrash is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator



yuppp....
9 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

[31 Aug 2005|05:38pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I'm off on our 2 day camping trip to Albion Hills.
It'll be lots of fun :).
And I'll be back just in time for the Strawman show.

<3Meowwwww.

Hopefully Paulie will end up comming,if not,I'll be uber-sad.







Lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeee!
Diana<3.

Kiss me?

Dear Diary... [27 Aug 2005|12:37am]
The words I've been looking for desperately for the past week have finally come.
Enjoy.

I didn't say understand...I said enjoy.

Read more...Collapse )


You're all fools...

Diana.
6 said it was meaningless// Kiss me?

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