i'm happy. and i don't really know why that is, really; i just know things have been comfortably pleasant lately. nothing incredibly amazing or monumental has happened, it's just everything in my life has sort of fallen into a peaceful balance that i am so content resting in. i think it's because i talked to pat the other night, and for the first time since we broke up, i feel so completely okay with it. he is my best friend in the world and i feel closer to him than i have ever felt to anyone, and i want him in my life regardless of what his relation to me may be. we've both settled and although we've each taken a step forward, that doesn't mean we've taken a step apart. and it was good that we both realized that. i am so lucky that we had such a healthy relationship enough to be okay being best friends after the fact. besides that, things at school have been getting nothing but better. and it's funny because when i say "better," it almost implies that things have been worse, but they haven't. each day is wonderful, and the day after that completely blows the day before out of sight. it's mostly because of my roommates; i'm sure. i know i always say this but it's the truth: it's really not everyday that you can throw six girls into an apartment, have them live together 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and then watch them get along so well.
it just feels so SO good to be all right with everything. i'm going home wednesday at 9am and i can't wait to pop my head into the kids store and see janelle. we have the whole weekened planned out for ourselves and it's going to be so relieving to spend time with her. i'm working almost all day thurday, and i'm so excited for that; i miss the adult store like crazy, and i miss the people i used to work with. i know i have midterms to study for, but all of this just makes those stupid tests worth studying for and getting through.
thank you. i really don't know who to.. i guess to anyone who has been apart of my life for the past two months. i have grown up so much in so little time and it really is something incredible to be able to realize that. the truth is that whatever may seem terrible for the moment is guaranteed to be something better in the long run. you can always take your past experiences, no matter how unpleasant they were, and apply them to your life at present as a means of learning.
it is possible to simultaneously embrace both good and bad. you should really try it, because it's such an essential part in growing up, moving on, and getting over all the insignificant nothings of life that we so often stick our faces in.