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July 21st, 2009


09:58 pm - ieeeeeeeeeeeee
what a lovely hiatus.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

May 8th, 2008


10:59 am - like pulling teeth.
sometimes it's not letting go of something that hurts the most, it's holding on to it.





you got what you wanted.

 

March 18th, 2008


07:51 pm - happy.
 happy.

it's funny....or maybe it's the scent of spring in the air.....but i'm ok.
it's so wierd how the people we meet in our dreams and from our pasts can come back into our lives, resurface once again to make such an impact.

i feel like for the first time, someone understands me.
i can breathe again.
i feel beautiful.

the pain i felt feels like it's a hundred miles away....and it pretty much is.
i wanted to hold on to that part of my life so bad, that i was afraid to lock that door and let it be.
i'm not 19 and in love with a brooding trent reznor wannabe, or infatuated with his pretty skinned friends.
i'm not that girl anymore, no matter how badly sometimes i wish i still were.
he let me go, his enemy let me go, his best friend let me go.
they all broke my heart, but i still love them for every single moment spent.
i think somehow, i always will.....but i have to let go.
i have to let you go.
i can be happy now, and sane and beautiful and able to be loved....so i need to do this so i can finally set myself free.

i'm gonna be ok after all, and i have someone by my side who says so <3
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: helena / my chemical romance

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

June 18th, 2007


03:25 pm - leave it all behind.

razed in black // leave it all behind.

I’ve kept it bottled up inside
This pain … unforgivng
The imperfection is much too shy
To dominate me, control me
I see it’s much too late

I bitch from head to toe about this sweet embrace
And how it faltered
The wickedness that followed as the ‘we’ turned ‘I’
Finally overflowed

Taking the time to call out the tears
Waiting for it to fall, all the years
Pushing for me to leave it all behind
Forcing me to believe I’ll never find

Painting over your name in blood
To set the permanence free
Though I cut the scars to mask the scars you left behind
It still lingers...

Taking the time to call out the tears
Waiting for it to fall, all the years
Pushing for me to leave it all behind
Forcing me to believe I’ll never find 

________________________________________

[note:] this will be the first, last and perhaps the only public entry i shall ever make from this journal. it was created with the intent on being kept private, and since it's contents are raw and contain several skeletons from my past, i am choosing to keep it that way. feel free to add me, if you so wish to view what i feel and what i have to say, however you may not agree with or like what you read.


Current Mood: empty
Current Music: razed in black // leave it all behind
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