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Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
5:51 pm - Still grounded...
It's being like a mother fucking month now... if I'm grounded for christmas I will kill someone... brutally... part of me is all "yay when i get my compy back I'll be able to read like a zillion comics and never get bored" but part of me is all "I'm bored" and I'm getting fat because of this boredom... all I do now is sit, eat and watch tv... I don't even have a videogame to keep me occupied right now... at least until jim buys FFXII which will be like... tomorrow! tee hee i used roman numerals... BOO! I am also tres tired right now... you'd think that "hey... she's bored maybe she'll go to sleep early and not be so tired" BUT NOOO little miss boredom pants can't sleep again... so now i'm boreed all day... and bored all night... and oh so sad it hurts... all I ask for is a computer and about 20 hours of sleep... and I will be fine...

Work is fun though... for those of you who don't know I work at HMV... that's right... and yeah people there are so weird and so awesome... like one guy... who's all "Hey i'm Harold... but you can call me Harry... ZOBS!... I don't know why I say that" and Dan who's my best work buddy now... Oh and the cash registers intimidate me... at Chapters it was all "oh shit I made about a zillion mistakes... delete... s'all good" but there it's like "OH NOES AHHH WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" yeah... scary but hey whatev's... who says Zobs... what is with that... I dunno.

On a side note I've been learning a lot more about St. Nicholas day and how it turned into christmas and it just cracks me up that they felt it was too racist to have black people help out good ol' St Nick so they changed it to midgets.. sorry... little people... we want to be politically correct here...

I'm going to try and steal a library computer everyday from now on but it shall be hard... sigh... oh well... I got new glasses... I can see buildings!!!!! I'm so effing happy about that! I think I'm done now.

current mood: Mixed Feelings...

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Monday, October 30th, 2006
5:50 pm
So... I am grounded... for like 3 weeks... and I don't really want to talk about it, if I am lucky I will be able to get onto the computer during school every once in a while but I doubt that will happen, and holy shit after like 2 days I have 32 Deviations and 21 messages on DEVart... oh my god i'm going to die... ANYwho... so for now I am incommunicado via internets so if you e-mail me, post here/ on DEVart, wonder why I haven't been online practically everyday anymore or anything else that is why... WOOT! Can't really think of much else to say... other than I am missing Hallowe'en The Decemberists and shit loads of time with friends because my father is a suck ass and thinks I have no feelings... we shall leave it at that...

current mood: Grumpy

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Monday, October 9th, 2006
11:41 pm - Jones Soda
So yeah... I haven't posted in a while but who really cares, none of you read this crap... but for those of you who do... I have submitted a crap load of pictures to Jones Soda... yep... I hope i get put on a bottle but i doubt it... and you can vote on pictures if you want so I'm including links to all 20 pictures I submitted... 20 FUCKING PICTURES... look if you want... or don't... some are really pretty.


I also Have a DeviantART account for those of you who don't know... there pictures are there too... plus more... DeviantART Link!

current mood: Excited

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Thursday, August 31st, 2006
11:03 am
To All who need to know and will no doubt ask here is my schedule, I am going to get a couple things switched but until then...

Advanced Funct - Marshall 408
Chemistry - Paradiso 315 (Eeee I got the Diso again!)
Math Data - Archibald 404
Biology - Wassmer 114

And semester 2

English - Veary 345
Writ Craft - Watt 347
Illustration - Dippo 239
Physics - Covello 324

I'm hoping to getMath Data switched with Writ Craft and if the have sculpture i may switch to it from illustration.

current mood: Tired

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Monday, August 14th, 2006
11:04 am - Gone Camping
I'm leaving in like an hour I think maybe, of to go camping avec le boy and le rents of said boy. Gone for a week. Don't miss me too much, I doubt you will. WOOT! So don't go thinking I'm ignoring you cause I'm not. At least I don't have to work this week... I don't have to step inside Chapters for a whole week! YES!

END.

current mood: Tired

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Friday, August 11th, 2006
2:01 pm - Anger Management.

My mom wants me to get anger management.


She wants me to anger management because I got mad when Jim didn't help in the kitchen like he was supposed to, and because I got mad when Jim welched on our deal and threatened to slice my face or so he said to my mom "slice the fucking chords." She wants me to take anger management because I can't stand it when people are in my room without my permission, or when they snoop through my shit. It's an invasion of my privacy, I have a right to be mad. She says I have no control. If I had no control I'd be whipping things at her half the time. She says I need to find a way to vent my frustrations. Oh really? Is that so mother? Is that why every time I try top in a constructive if not at least non harmful way you yell at me or refuse to let me do what I need to? No, instead you choose to put something else on my shoulders to further piss me off. I haven't done anything destructive to this house or to myself out of anger in over 2 years and what do you have to say about that? Nothing, you don't even notice. I point it out and she says I'm too self centered, that I don't listen. I listen well enough to hear the instructions you give me and the threats I get and the insults thrown at me. And when I say I don't want to talk because it'll just get me more wound up then I'm selfish again. There's not a thing I can do anymore. And explain to me this. You're so willing to get me anger management that I don't want yet you do nothing to get me a psychiatrist that I want and even more so need, I'm not fixed no matter how much you think I am. You ask me what's wrong and I tell you I can't say because you'll get mad, you promise you won't, another lie on your part, when I finally give in and tell you, you throw it in my face, continue to call me selfish, and tell me I'm wrong. I don't need that.



current mood: Pissed

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Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
12:25 am
People are weird... really weird... and confusing... in a bad way... that is all. END.

current mood: Tired

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Friday, July 14th, 2006
11:28 am - I'm Sorry!
I'm sorry everyone... I thought you should know... I am now addicted to Deviant ART... I haven't check my LJ in like... days... which is odd for me cause I have nothing better to do... I'm addicted and I wil probably never return AHHHHHH

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7:55 am - WOOT!
DRESDEN DOLLS TOMORROW!... oh... and Panic at the Disco... tee hee!

So excited! *does excited dance* ... good music for it... if you have ever seen my excited dance

current mood: Excited

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Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
12:13 pm

I'm bored as fuck and tired as fuck so here are some random pictures! WOOT!



current mood: Tired as Fuck

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Thursday, July 6th, 2006
11:48 am
grrr work... I hate you... why? because the one and only time you give me problems with shift mixups is the 15th... I asked for the 15th and 16th off... and my availability is now 12 to close but you chose to put me working on the 15th at 10:30 go die... I suppose it's possible... but fuck you I don't wanna, now I have to put a shit load of effort into finding someone to take my shift but wait... you don't have me working all week so I can't talk to anyone FUCK YOU... grrrrr *cries a little* grrrrrr

current mood: Fucking Pissed

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Thursday, June 29th, 2006
1:33 am
I can't sleep again, I just keep thinking about stuff... life in general really, I think I really need to see a psychiatrist again but my doctor and my mother are fucking dumb and can't do shit on their own. I'm thinking if I can't sleep soon I'm going to take some good ol' drugs to help me sleep but I haven't taken them in such a long time and I was so proud for not needing them that badly. Oh well that's life. I wish I was british, then I'd have a cool accent. Whatever. One of these days I should just post a big long splurg on my life just so everyone can no and if ever anyone asks my "Hey, why are you so fucked?" I can be all "Well... just read this, it's my life story" and they'll understand. But I know I'd regret it later, like the next day, when people start pitying me. I hate pity. Two posts in one day... doesn't everyone just feel special. Maybe instead of one long blurb on my life's story I should just do random sections, in as much detail as possible, maybe shock you or make you cry or fill you with complete disgust. I could start small like one time when I got picked on pretty bad and then work up to the really big things, or maybe I could do a timeline. Or maybe I'll elude to things that have happened over time and make your brain go nuts while you assume the worst and not know what to say. Or maybe I won't do anything. Frankly I don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe it's for my own piece of mind. I've gone over my life story about ten different ways with Jezebelle and even once pretending I was talking to someone I know and it's helped, but what I really need is someone who can do something for me. Rolling around in some form of confused panic and mumbling to a wall won't get me anywhere too quickly. What I need is someone who will pump me full of drugs and say "Now listen you fucked up little child, stop thinking about what those idiots have done to you and just be happy!" then maybe I will. I suppose I am happy now, I mean I'm happy more than I used to be, but I still have these episodes where I just can't stop thinking and being depressed. When I think about now I think about my friends and the good times I have, but when I get like this it's all about my past and about all the bad things that have happened. I kind of hope no one reads this, I kind of doubt anyone will. It makes me feel better to get things out, and the further out I get them, the better I feel. One final thought. I've noticed that there isn't a thing in this world that people do that doesn't have something in it for themself. When people try and cheer me up, they don't say "I don't want you to be upset because I care about you" they say "You're mood is ruining my day" or if I'm lucky "It makes me sad to see you sad" I suppose the latter isn't bad but it's the way they say it. It's not as thought they care why I'm upset, it's that they don't want me bumming them out, they want me happy so they can feel better. Or maybe I'm just babbling... Goodnight weird people and try not to embarass me much on what I write. Keep in mind I'm crazy and need sleep.

current mood: Indifferent

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Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
3:47 pm
So I was sitting here, bored as fuck, watching Northfork and reading some magazines when I was kind of thinking, isn't it funny how someone can freak out and go on about how you're so important and yadda yadda yadda and then not bother to try and make up? I mean honestly, it's been like more than three weeks and you haven't even spoken to me, which is also odd considdering that when I came back from San Francisco you got your boyfriend to freak on me for "ignoring" you instead of talking to me yourself. You really make no sense to me and frankly it doesn't bother me that you don't talk to me, I just figure it shows how much I really mean to you. After all I was more than a best friend right? I was you sister! Just like every other friend you have. By the way, when you say things like that to everyone, it really loses it's meaning. And as you so eloquently put it, whatever.

In other news, I'm bored as hell, I'm re-reading magazines from last July that's how bored I am... I didn't even know I still had them. I hate having satelite when it rains, you can't watch anything, and that's the only tme when I watch TV... pretty much. I finished yet another video game and watching the same movies over and over is getting repetitive... sigh... I have no moneys until friday... I need new jewlery for my nipple and ears, fucking ears are too sensitive, I can't wear anything plastic or even anything with rubber rings, which means I have to spend more on jewlery when I buy it. GOD I'm bored... fuck me in the ass! ANYwho... so my playstation is still at Tony's which SUCKS so now I'm left with my computer games which are getting old and Xbox games which are few cause Alex has most of them... Sigh... I have a new mission of trying to get a copy of March's Juxtapoz cause I like Camille Rose Garcia a lot... yep... probably won't happen though... sigh... I also plan on finishing my closet this summer (keep in mind that was my goal LAST summer) and reading all of Paradise Lost. WOOT! Go artsy nerdy boredom! I should stop now... bye bye!

current mood: Bored

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Saturday, June 17th, 2006
12:42 pm - Mah Trip Biotch

So yeah... I went to San Francisco... and this is what happened... there are pictures... so you can look at them... i know people like pictures... DON'T LIE!! you like them...



Yeah... and there are random funny pictures in there too cause I know you like those too... DON'T LIE!!... you like them...



current mood: Happy

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12:52 am - BOO YA!
That's Right... I'm Back... All Praise The Me... Or Something...

For Those Of You Who DON'T Know, I Was In San Francisco...

: )

I Will Add More Later... Like Pictures... And Maybe Hot Videos Of Drag Queens... OH BABY!

current mood: Ecstatic

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Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
7:33 pm - What the Fuck Ever
So I'm depressed and shit is shitty, certain people are being lying hypocrites but I won't get into that... I gained weight... so I'm going to diet because apparently I'm too fat to function... I want to lose at least 15 pounds, maybe I'll be happy then... and I know that I sound like every other girl out there, the kind that I hate... but I suppose that's what I am, who knows... oh woe is emo me... so... dad's being weird... I was sitting here and he just came up and was all "Y'know... when you were little and I came home from work you'd come running down the stairs and hug my legs yelling 'Daddy's home!'" and he seemed all sentimental and shit which he never does and then he was all "But now you're just this whiney little bitch that does nothing but sit there and complain, don't even say 'Hi' when I come in, just sit on your fat ass doing nothing." Good ol' dad. My mom won't leave me alone... she doesn't get what "please leave me alone" means and it's pissing me off... I felt pretty lonely today... I thought it was just because friends aren't around but even when I was around people I still felt pretty lonely... I hate my parent's company... now Jim's giving me dirty looks for no reason and my mom bought me a chocolate bar... what a great way to start to lose weight... I think I might start running again... maybe I'll start today... it's kinda wet... but oh well... I think that I would like to go to toronto some time soon... go shopping... or just wandering... don't know who I'll go with... a lot of people are probably mad at me right now... I don't doubt it...

Now the good news! That is quite outdated! I got my bellybutton pierced for those who don't know...
 Brings the piercing count to...7 including ears... I think I may get my tragus and cartilage done... on opposite ears... 
Nothing else to say... done

current mood: Extremelely Depressed

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Thursday, April 27th, 2006
3:02 pm
So a girl in my school died today, her name was Brittany Caley and I knew her, not extremely well but I knew her, I talked to her sometimes in class, we had a couple together, this year we had bio together. I just find it weird that someone I barely knew dying has a greater effect on me then people in my family dying. When my grandfather died just last month it was more of a niusance then anything and when my uncle died in 2003 I didn't cry, he was the most important person to me at the time and I didn't even cry. I don't know why I'm upset it's really confusing. There was barely anyone in my classes, I suppose because they all knew her. We watched The Matrix in philosophy, and Bend it Like Beckham in anthro because the teachers didn't want to do lessons, the only class that went on as usual was bio but you could tell Randoja was upset. I think I was more upset over the fact that school seemed so quiet and weird to me today. I ended up having 3 panic attacks and now have a headache. I suppose I'm just being weird old me, who hasn't slept in a long time and is just over reacting... oh well.

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Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
12:33 pm
Funniest thing EVER today... My dad moved my computer downstairs because he wanted more office space and when i went upstairs to grab my CD's out of the drawer I didn't bother knocking and it was hilarious, he was sitting at the desk where my computer used to be with a newspaper spread out and his ashtray, rolling papers and bag of weed there rolling a joint and incense burning. The second he heard me he was like a scared teenager and tried to hide it all under the newspaper and make it look like he was about to smoke a cigar and it just made me think of a stupid little teenager that got caught by their parents, he was all "uh... uh... uh... what uh... what do you want?" all nervous like it was funny... As much as I hate my dad... he has his moments... Sigh... I thought it was cute... and I should share heh heh.

current mood: Happy

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Monday, March 27th, 2006
10:03 pm
So uh yeah, I am totally bored right now... so uh yeah... my day... a story... by me!

I slept in... I went to anthro... I skipped anthro... See Jane Run... Run Jane Run!

Anywho... got sme fuzzy peaches... enjoyed the outside air... read a bit of my book... then there was bio... and that always sucks... then there was lunch... and shannon dragged me around... then there was more lunch with hanging with mike! which is always aweosme.... then there was chemistry... and i had to write a test which i didn't study for... you were right... don't feel too special... then i went outside and i was sad cause mike was already on the bus... then he got off the bus to hug me... i felt special... i use elipses alot... and i won't stop now! muahahaha!

Um... so yeah... I think I'm getting a bike for my birthday.. since there's one in the basement... and I'm the only one in need of a bike... and it's my birthday in like a month... I can't wait for shivvy to come down... I think I'll get my nipple pierced again when she gets her stuff done... amber said she wants to come... she rocks and i miss her so much... i wish i was in grade 8 again... or even way earlier... like grade 6... or 5 i was happy then... ANYwho... I have a surprise for shivvy and like 2 people know what it is... and I still have mariels gift... and like 2 people know what that is... and yeah... so uh... can't wait till wednesday... half day... mad mad hangouts... and i love it... and cuddles... i won't forget... so I've decided that we're going to start our own religion where we eat breakfast all the time... and hang out and cuddle all the time and people give us money... it'd be sweet... I love bagels... so uh yeah... my dads website is looking pretty spiffy... I'd show you but I don't know the link... yeah... might get my belly button pierced soon... maybe do my cartilage...

And I'm off... maybe more later...

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Saturday, March 18th, 2006
11:31 pm


current mood: Grrr

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