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[09 Dec 2005|11:00pm]

new livejournal

                   

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[22 Nov 2005|10:05pm]
im erasing it all.
everything. putting it away all the pictures. the jewelry the clothes the memories.
after the thanksgiving game there wont be much to see each other at.
he'll be erased from my life.
taken off my buddy list.
i wont worry about his myspace anymore.
i know he doesnt deserve to be ahppy but oh well he is the only thing that matters is i am happy and im letting it all go. of course ill store the pictures on a disc but i wont look back for a long time.
i have someone new who treats me 1000000000000000 times better.
im happy.
its all good.
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[01 Nov 2005|05:29pm]
my 15th birthday was sunday. i got an ipod with my money and my parents got me my own digital camera. halloween was ok. i decided im no longer telling people about my struggles with friend or my boyfriend because all it does is create gossip for me to deal with. and to muhc worry and then fights with the people. girls are way to catty. i miss last years inoscense. i miss last years friends. last years relationship. I WANT THINGS TO GO BACK TO NORMAL. i suppose they never will so i should suck it up, life life and enjoy it. i miss craig =( he went to notre dame. we were just getting to be good friend damn it. anyways happy halloweener.

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dylannnnnnn [26 Aug 2005|05:58pm]
i know i bore you now, i can see it in your eyes. I used to show up at your house and you'd be happy to be my face it was like a glow that took over the both of us. now you dont seem excited to see me. sometimes you dont even say hi. i know e're comfortable with each other now and that could be one reason but i jsut feel as if u dont want to be with me. and you've said a few times u want to be free. but then why when we split that one night you came back to me. your not happy with me and your happy without me. i dont understand. and im supposed to understand you. you probably could care less if i was yours and you were mine. but i dont want to just assume i wantto know. but everytime i bring this up i wince as a say it because im scared what if its true? i just have these expectations i shouldnt. what if u really dont want to be with me? what if i realy do bore you. i wish you'd love me more. i try my hardest. i tell you when you look good. i tell you i love you. i remember things we've planned or times we've spent together. you never tell me im pretty. and when i asked you sigh and say you know i thikn you are. but still i want to hear it. it makes me feel good about myself. and i try to make things more fun for us.i include your friends with our plans ive let alot of things go that i could have gotten mad over and you just dont like my friends and like refuse to hnag out with them. you cant attempt to get along. well ive had to so why cant you. and it all comes down to the fact you dont do it is because you dont want this relationship and that scares me shitless. that is the hardest thing to think about. losing you. it's terrible. i wish i could tell you all this but then it'd be the end of us i dont know why i feel this way i jsut do. i feel like if i told you this you'd say "exactly i DONT want a g/f i want to be free away from you. your to self concious clingy and bitchy. if you cant understand me and i cant understand you then why bother." i can jsut hear it now. and i think about this everyday and when you say commetnts joking about us not being together i laugh but i get this like pang in my heart. i jumpy feeling. like i know whats coming. i know e're done. i hate living with this feeling. i wish you'd love me. i wish you would tell me. i wish you wouldn't give me mixed signals.
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[25 Aug 2005|07:15pm]
did i mention that I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO LAW?.
well i dont for the 100th time. im so dissapointed.
i wanna go back to 8th grade. with everyone i mean
everyone from 8th grade. whether i hate em' or love em'
I am defanilty gonna miss em' especially kiara dylan
pam jon ben shelby alisha angie anny marney
and i
could go on and on about the people i'm gonna miss and
how comfortable inw as and how uncomfortable i will be
now that im at law. but i give up. i jsut dont wanna go.
END OF STORY.
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[23 Aug 2005|12:04am]
I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO JONATHAN LAW ONE BIT. I WANT TO GO TO FORAN. NO I JSUT WANT TO GO TO A SCHOOL WHERE EVERYBODY FROM HARBORSIDE WILL BE. I HATE THIS FUCKING SPLITING UP SHIT. IT'S SOOOOO GAY. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. THIS IS THR WORST CHANGE EVER. W00HOO I CANT WAIT FOR DRAMA AT LAW.
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[22 Aug 2005|11:26pm]
i hate law and i havent even gone to school there yet. i dont want too. i want to go to foran. I DONT WANNA GO TO LAW. NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE THERE. i dont want this change. i dont wanna lose dylan :(
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[19 Aug 2005|07:44pm]
Oyster fest is tommorw and im really excited to see everyone from school cause i really havent. im gonna go with kiara around 11 sinc ehere brother is doing a demo there and she doesnt wanna be there alone with her parents then were gonna go off on our own and maybe meet up with randy and ricky who are going to jonathan law with me. thank god i know some people from west shore going to law. Then we're gonna walk around and look at all the stuff there get soemthing to eat and probabaly just find people to hnag out with. Dylan is gonna pick me up after and we're gonna walk home to my house and just hang out the rest of the day. im so relieved that me and dylan are fine now. i had the worst day yesterday but it turned for the better thank god. Also... im a little nervous for school starting cause it a new school. but thank god kelley my sister is gonna be there i hope we start getting along better. alot of my friends ok most of my friends are going to foran and i want to go but im out of district. then kiaras was going to law but now shes going to a private school in bridgeport this sucks. oh well ill make the best of it and makes new friends.i should really stop worrying about it cause its not gonna be so bad. ♥
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PROMOTIONS GO HERE [19 Aug 2005|12:58pm]
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