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New Journal

Yo! I realize like nobody uses this anymore, however..

I'm starting a new journal (I'll be keeping this one as well). The new one is going to be more anonymous, more for guiding me through writing my biography which I need to do asap as my health keeps steadily declining and I want to at least leave *something* behind to document how to get out of the Hell I grew up in. So, that said, If you'd like to know the new journal name so you can follow me there, just hit me up with a comment here or on fb or something and I can send you a link. :) I'll still use this one for just personal ramblings and such.

Peace and love.

Mar. 16th, 2012

I've obviously made a couple bad judgement calls and have gotten myself into a bit of a situation. It's head vs. heart but head has to win. Need to think logically and rationally and be more careful about who I help and why. My willingness to become a caretaker and extend my help to others so easily is still not where it needs to be to be considered "healthy." I have gotten much, much better but still need to work on setting healthy boundaries so that I don't get myself into situations which are uncomfortable when offering to help someone who is going through hard times.
Damn it, slap on the wrist and lesson learned, now I need to figure out a reasonable way out of this.

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Anyone know if there is a way to import your old lj accounts entries to your current one?

Help? :)

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Holy Snow!!!

We just got hit with SO MUCH snow. It's insane. I'll be posting pictures on facebook. Yeah, it's insane.

Dec. 2nd, 2009

Life it seems will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself
But it's too late
Now I can't think
Think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though
It never existed
Death greets me warm
Now I will just say goodbye

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Goodbye dad. I'm finally ready to let go. It's hard, but of course it would be.
I love you and will miss you always.
If there is something after, I'll see you there!

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New Hobby

I've been doing a ton of photography lately with my old buddy Brian. We've been going all over Wisconsin so far. Going out again today. It's been a lot of fun, although it's been getting a bit cold out, and I hardly dress to stay warm. :P I am getting some good use of my clothes that I bought off season last year which is pretty sweet. :) I love my little arm warmer/half glove things.
It should be in the 30s or 40s today, eep. Going out to take more pictures. Finally I get to have Ryan with me.

So, anyways, just wanted to do a quick update. Brian and Jason are down. We're all going to go out and take pictures today. I'll try to put up some links sometime soon. :)

Peace and love. :)

Suggestions needed

I'm making the hubby some beef stew this weekend (first time ever making it). Going to put in stew meat, potato, carrots, celery, corn, onion... Anything else? Also, what are good complimentary or side dishes?
Thanks in advance! <3!

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I can't let this control my life. Somehow, I have to try hard and find a way to take control. I have to.

This disorder leaves me living in constant fear. Fear of rejection, of abandonment, of being cast aside and being alone.

I selfishly hurt others when I should be strong and wise enough to know better.

It's so hard to fight this disorder. So, so hard.

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Any Writers out there?

So, I need some software to help me with my book. I want something that will help with plot, organization, chapters, character, development, etc, etc, (you know, all the stuff that goes into writing a book).

I'll be getting my laptop soon, which means that I will start the hard core parts of writing my book. It's time I get this thing going, before I let myself get so sick that I can't do anything. This will prove to be very therapeutic for me. I need to get going on it before my memory fails me more than it already has.

So, writing software, anybody?

There was an interesting one at the Apple store, which I will try, if nothing else is thrown at me. I can't return software though, so I want to be sure to get the best I can on the first shot...