Log in

amy kim.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
amy kim.

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

FRIENDS ONLY [09 Apr 2009|11:15am]

comment only here.
add me first and
i'll add you back

187 comments|post comment

if you haven't already [20 Oct 2007|11:47am]

try [31 Oct 2006|06:35pm]
"those who say yesterday was better than today
end up devaluing their own presence. i live for today"
-i forgot

cut the crap [28 Oct 2006|04:41pm]
i had this panic attack where
i wanted to cut everything that made
me feel disgusting out of my life

so i started by throwing out everything i couldn't really picture myself wearing anymore from my closet and dresser. i'm left with like 4 things that i don't even really like.

why do we let crap just hang around forever
i live in it,

let it build all around us
dirty room, dirty relationships with people, taking in 'dirty' food, flawed education
dirty life
i feel bad that i can't clean out bad memories
and even more, the unreasonable hate i feel for some people

let me feel cleanseddddd and free
3 comments|post comment

[23 Oct 2006|10:32pm]
i'll never forgive you for
not being there
when i just needed someone
that i could say
'i feel hurt'

[16 Oct 2006|11:00pm]
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

weeeeekend plz. [12 Oct 2006|04:43pm]
[ mood | happy ]

guilty pleasures:
pop music
laguna beach
and cheap sugary smelling perfumes.
ughh hate her lolCollapse )

hc06 [11 Oct 2006|09:49pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
:] fun night
uhhh my eye looks retarded lol

[09 Oct 2006|08:20pm]
[ mood | silly ]

stfu i'm jealous

sleepy [28 Sep 2006|10:59pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

[22 Sep 2006|09:42pm]

finally a haircut
i have a tontonton of homework to do this weekend :[[

hahahCollapse )

shit son [06 Sep 2006|05:04pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

redbull redbull redbull, 2 minute dinner, 2 minute shower, no sleep, doing hw

reading [31 Aug 2006|08:56pm]
[ mood | reading ]

so so so so sick of reading for apush and apbio
i'm doing pretty well in school so far and it doesn't seem really hard
just a lot of reading and no sleep :]
all of my group miraculously have 2nd lunch now and i have a late day tomorrow plus our first rally AND no school monday ^______^ MORE TYME TO REED YES

mmm :D my first day of school outfit will be my neon green link crew shirt [27 Aug 2006|08:18pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

oh joy, school tomorrow

CONSUMER [25 Aug 2006|10:28am]
[ mood | excited ]

i've been well rested
three days

BOREEEE [22 Aug 2006|11:26pm]
plz go away.

MALEZ: [21 Aug 2006|01:13am]
[ mood | mixed ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
please be smarter or leave me alone
you really start to annoy me >:[

++Collapse )

12 comments|post comment

margaret's, link crew, mall [19 Aug 2006|10:59pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

past couple of days
++Collapse )

16 comments|post comment

SCHEDULE [18 Aug 2006|01:30pm]
[ mood | tired ]

1. Honors Pre-Calc

2. Graphics

3. English 3

4. AP Biology

-2nd LUNCH-

5. Spanish 3

6. AP US History

oh and ya, i think you have to

6 comments|post comment

"IMAGINE NOTHING" [17 Aug 2006|10:34pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
++Collapse )

blehhh these LINK CREW training days tire me out so much. it's alright i guess, it makes me feel like i actually do something for school, besides well, go. tomorrow is registration day. school already :] i should have some pictures later on...if sujin wasn't so fat she would be able to send them to everyonee ;D more from tomorrow and the upcoming monday and tuesday, my fun filled days with my 9 freshmen :] that i get to drag around for a school tour and play games with all day...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
LOL skin whitening soap from the philippines that margaret gave me

oh yah and i dyed my hair black again
++Collapse )

i have so many [almost]100 random things about me...but i can never think of so many lol
++Collapse )

36 comments|post comment

[14 Aug 2006|11:50pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

this is going to be the worst entry ever. it's over such a long period of time that i don't remember very well and it's not really going to flow in any way and nothing is going to have anything to do with each other, except for that fact that it all has to do with me, obviously the most important person here, and is probably in time order. over a couple weeks i've just been bulleting random things i thought i should remmeber, and here i am now, two weeks later, trying to expand on each point while also writing about things going on now? i don't know why i do this. anyways, i'm starting to not like this journal. it's sounding so fake and i feel like i'm copying everything i write from other places which i probably am. it's getting harder to write in here.

Read more...Collapse )

30 comments|post comment

SHAMU SHAMU SHAMU! [08 Aug 2006|06:07pm]
[ mood | good to be homee ]

rancho cucamonga > san diego

first time going to sd [06 Aug 2006|11:24am]
[ mood | still sickkkkk X_x ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
gone for a couple days with the family :]

HAIRCUT [25 Jul 2006|09:20pm]
[ mood | worried ]

hereCollapse )

maybe i deleted those [24 Jul 2006|01:45am]
[ mood | surprised ]

no matter how much time goes by, some boys will just never let you forget

mae, copeland, the rocket summer, daphne loves derby, my ass. [23 Jul 2006|08:46pm]
[ mood | hot ]

jesus, 4 more days of summer school left.
i really don't want to go tomorrow, or go back to SAT school tomorrow again. :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ cry cry cry

it's extremely hard for me to lose any weight because i keep binge eating and because i'm getting bored of running. i'm kind of missing someone old and thinking about an imaginary future with someone recent. it doesn't matter, nothing will happen with either of those people. it's nice to think of them though. i would make a really good girlfriend, i really would.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

money :[

[22 Jul 2006|10:52pm]
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
8 comments|post comment

[10 Jul 2006|10:20pm]
[ mood | scared/excited ]

today i think i finally know

[15 Jun 2006|09:54am]
whenever i'm not caught up in things
and have too much time to think and be angry
i always end up thinking the whole world owes me something very soon.

:] I HATE THIS MALL. [12 Jun 2006|07:02pm]
[ mood | excited ]

:] i start work on wednesday from 5-10
at the wetzel's pretzels in victoria gardens
visit mee

some comfort and loving please [12 Jun 2006|12:01am]
[ mood | cranky ]

whoo! what an ugly
dirty looking bitch
you have turned into

12:03, still studying for goddamn finals.
there is just too much to do.

i have pictures from the last full days of school
and the museum of tolerance trip
but i am ugly and lazy, so no. lol

about me [04 Jun 2006|12:51pm]
my patience is nonexistent

the heat woke me up. [04 Jun 2006|09:35am]
[ mood | nervous/ugly/anxious ]

the near future is going to be very bussssy :X
just the way i like it. i don't know what people are going to be involved in it, but i know all the things i'm going to do. last summer hopefully will be completely different from this up coming summer vacation. i'm going into this with no boyfriend and no long island kids.

this summer is set up for me to make progress
and be productive to get ahead. lol

i have summer school PE at like 7 in the morning to about 12 in the afternoon every day for 6 weeks, not including fridays or weekends. i'm glad i got in because i almost had to take an entire year of PE junior year with a bunch of sophomores. Mrs. Kinealy put me on some waiting list and i guess some seniors dropped out. i don't regret taking art2 this year even more now :] (that's what class i took instead of PE)

i'm switching S.A.T. schools. i met a lot of people there that i got somewhat close to and i like them for the most part, but i feel like i'm wasting a ton if time there. i'm throwing away my parent's money to eat and socialize and do hw. i feel too comfortable around them while filling in bubble after bubble, eating, doing hw, more bubbling, and more eating. i haven't improved at all, i don't think, and i've been going there since the beginning of sophomore year. it is mostly my part but i feel like there's another place that will provide me with the same materials but a more hard working environment and strangers that i can't socialize with. my mom is going to look for a different school located in a more asian populated area, that is more serious about it. also, she's looking for a private tutor to teach me pre-calc and calculus so it will be easy for me next year. i don't want to drop any of my honors or AP classes.
when school ends, i start working at wetzles pretzels probably on weekends and nights.
i see dad somewhere at the end of summer. i think we are going to take a mini family vacation.

i had a dream that i was in some convenience store and i saw a bitch looking korean girl
and randomly went up to her so that we could be friends. she spoke no english
so i struggled to communicate with her in my broken korean but still got my point across.
she dropped the friend she was with and walked down the street with me.
i didn't know where we were going, but we seemed to be having a lot of fun laughing
and well, walking.
but the next second, another girl came up to her, she dropped me, just like
she had with the girl before, and i walked by myself back to the store and then i realized i was lost.
i knew how to get back to the store because it was just down the block, but i didn't
know how i got to the store or where i really was. i tried to call my mom on my cell phone
but i couldn't get through to her. i didn't call anyone else because no one else existed?

i think this is one of the first dreams i have had in the past 3 years that wasn't about
my old friends from long island.

oh and speaking of firsts, for the first time in my lifee
i want a cha-can(nice) KOREAN boyfriend lol. my mom is so proud

8 comments|post comment

honey [21 May 2006|02:53am]
i'm so worn out.

<3 my um-mah lol :] [14 May 2006|02:04pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

happy mothers day :]
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

pictures ++Collapse )

16 comments|post comment

blank [07 May 2006|01:52pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usImage Hosted by ImageShack.us
my mom told me some things the other day that made me feel even better about being single as a teenager. while at the grove, her friend called her and i could hear crying. after she got off the phone, i asked my mom why her friend was crying. she told me her friend's boyfriend took her car keys, disappeared, and threatened to send her to the police for being an illegal immigrant unless she payed up a large sum of money. now what kind of a boyfriend would do that? a smart and evil one. i felt extremely bad, especially after meeting her son who seemed like a very confused and quiet kid. my mom told me they came to america because her son was bullied to the point that he couldn't go to school. she says lots of korean kids move to america because of that.

i sat quiet for a while, thinking about how lucky i was. even though i had parents that had a messy relationship, my life for the most part, is great. i wondered how calvin, my mom's friend's son was feeling.

my mom got serious and looked at me in the eye. she said that too many young girls feel like they have to take care of their boyfriends. there are too many weak, stupid girls. that it's 'cute' to 'take care' of your boyfriend. that they will appreciate your love and kindness. appreciate you trying to fix them and bringing out the best of them.

she kept warning me that boys don't need a girl to take care of them. the boy is not your son. the only boy you need to take care of is your son. he has his mom, his grandma, his sisters, and his other weak friends that are girls, to take care of him. not you. the girlfriend should not.

then she started telling me this made up story how a long long time ago in korea, when the economy was bad, a girl who couldn't go to school herself (because most girls were not sent to college), worked small jobs to fund her boyfriend's tuition so he could become a doctor. later when he became successful, instead of loving the girl because she had stuck by him and supported him through it all, he moves onto becoming obsessed and in love with a girl even more successful than him. boys will never stay with girls like those she said. he should take care of you.

if you are more than friends, let him pay for everything. it's not about the money, its the principle behind it. i know you want to be an equal, amy. but by paying for yourself when you are out with a boyfriend, you will soon end up paying for him too. he will leave you, and you will pay in regret forever. he doesn't get an allowance? no job? he will save up every dollar he has until he has enough to take you out. you are not equals in many ways amy. money is important. power is important. i hope you learn to use it in the right, good ways.

boys, especially the ones your age, will never admit their faults. how many boys do you know that have said 'i'm so fat, i feel ugly today'? none. how many times do you hear girls saying that? you don't need to compliment boys amy. they already think they are really something. you are only 16 right now. don't take boys very seriously. i know you don't right now, but i'm sure that in the near future, you will meet another boy who says everything you want to hear. be careful and think about what your doing. i'm not saying it's bad to get hurt though. you need to learn. i just want you to have happy memories, amy. don't want you to feel like you devoted time and love to someone who treats you badly. i never want you to feel like a waste.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

so that's what she said.
k pictures from this weekend.
pictures++Collapse )

24 comments|post comment

so much to do [27 Apr 2006|11:11pm]
[ mood | excited ]

life is too good.

poor you [25 Apr 2006|08:51pm]
[ mood | hot ]

i can't help but to think that some people just need massive amounts of attention and guidance, and that others deserve to be ignored. it seems to be the only way to control lots of the people i've known. being in the constricting and unnaturally social environment of school, i can't just put my guard down and act like my true self. hopefully as i become older, i will lose this part of me. i want to rid this flaw.

i feel like people will just take advantage of me first. i'm sure it's part of teenage insecurities and paranoia, but i sense over analyzing from all of the people i hang out with, to complete strangers. they all seem to carefully try to solve what they must do (or not do) to get what they want. did we all do this as young children too? i can't remember.

when i come across people i used to know, or have a random memory of an old friend, i always get this sense of responsibility to contact them again in efforts to help them. not to catch up, not to befriend them again, but to find out what their problems are and 'help' them. who am i to think someone needs my help? who am i to put myself higher than another by attacking their weaknesses purely for my own entertainment purposes? i'm not so sure. i would like to learn how to become a more humble and peaceful person. hopefully that is the way to go. staying arrogant and selfish, like many of us do, isn't very satisfying. i don't want to be a waste.

ok now i'll start studying for history and math.

LET'S TRY FOR SOMETHING NEW. [18 Apr 2006|12:44am]
[ mood | happy ]

some of you can write such personal things and show everyone, tons of people you hardly even know.
sometimes saying things out loud or writing them down take their value away from me.
i wont be able to choose the right words. i will get confused at what my point really was, etc.
but i also wonder if keeping it to myself will make
me turn something small into something very very big in my head.
oh yah, my hair has been brown for like a week now. i don't like it very much yet.
i'll like it more when all my angles and dumb ..hair grows out.
you guys still enjoy your hair? it's pretty annoying.

i keep getting called a fob or damn boa. -__- lol

anyone know how to get rid of that lil envelope
and the dotted outline on my pictures
it's from photoshop. surprise

pictures++Collapse )

17 comments|post comment

happy 16th birthday stephonia :] [09 Apr 2006|07:28pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
more later :]

i write a lot of private entries lately. [26 Mar 2006|08:00pm]
[ mood | spring is here ]

i'm thinking of not going to school tomorrow. i haven't missed school in a long time. i'm starting to fake sick right now, my nose is stuffy, my head hurts and i feel weak and sleepy. i don't think i'll miss much, just the math test i don't feel like studying for right now. just one more week and spring break already. this time last year is exactly how i'm feeling right now. funny how the weather can do that sort of thing.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
that means you are blind.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

my eyes have been hurting like no other. i wonder if i'll be able to get laser eye surgery when i'm older, mine are so bad. i feel like i'll be legally blind by the time i'm twenty lol.

i wrote this long thing, but i realized i've been writing about the same shit over and over again. so i deleted it. where is something new and constant for amy to have in her life eh?

my mom wants to take me and my sister to sea world. lol
for 3 days i'll be in palm springs with stephanie for her 16th birthday
i should start filling out my workers permit so i can get a job by late spring
i need to eat dinner noww bye :]

22 comments|post comment

so won't you hold me closer just one more minute [19 Mar 2006|12:22am]

mood:Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
music: the blood brothers

jaime, me
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
i found some old pictures in my moms closet and the garage
and i wanted to test my scanner. it sucks
+++Collapse )

what a shitty entry this is. [24 Feb 2006|09:46pm]
[ mood | happy ]

it makes me angry how i don't know how to express
myself whenever i write something. i feel like i
didn't really say what i wanted to say but something
completely different. i don't know. the same thing
goes when i speak. it's frustrating.

everyone dresses so badly. there's not one person at my school i see that i admire
it's hard to dress

i always attempt to take time to dress myself but then i wake up 30 minutes before school starts, run into the shower for 10 minutes, throw anything on, gather my things and run out the door. i always feel like going back home during lunch to change. school was surprisingly good today. a complete turn around from what my days have been like lately. i keep hiding from people and avoiding conversation and interaction. i don't know what i'm afriad of really. i guess i feel uncomfortable a lot. especially when i get ready so quickly and go to school so unprepared. after school stephanie margaret and i went to albertsons and i treated us all to some startbucks and sat in their magazine section and criticized ads and models then after about 10 minutes got bored but thought it would be rude to make us leave. after we went to stephanie's house and sat and talked and watched and of course ate food. i ate the most. i've been finding myself eating a lot lately. after my mom picked me up and we went to victoria gardens to shop for anything and i ended up getting a few nice things that i'm pretty satisfied with. i got shoes that went from $80 to $17.75 and they were the last ones and in my size too :] . i think this time in life, i think i enjoy materialistic things more than people. but people are good too i guess. uh i stopped writing for a good thirty minutes so idk where this was going lol. uhhh people are ugly and wear dumb clothes and so do i and i have dereks birthday get together thing and will hang out with stephanie and sujin before it so i'll probably have more pictures on this entry by the end of this weekend but here are some from a little while ago bye guys :]

pictures++Collapse )

13 comments|post comment

untill it's just too late [20 Feb 2006|11:16pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
more tomorrow
school tomorrow
my sleeping schedule is all thrown off
and i'm starting not to care about anything
anymore again.

9 comments|post comment

jay play :| [12 Feb 2006|04:03pm]
[ mood | hot ]

i can't leave this journal
just like i can't leave
some other things. i guess this
is back lol.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

here's some shit you guys might have missed.

pictures++Collapse )

i want to put more pictures on my ipod, but none of them are pretty enough

i keep buying dumb tshirts that have cheesy pictures or words on them
that i will never wear or wear once then forget about. and i keep buying
green. i look so bad in green.

i wish my parents hadn't sold the grand piano when we moved about 4 years ago.
i think that was my 1 year old birthday present from my grandparents. music.

why is it so damn hot today. i have lots of studying to do

23 comments|post comment

[08 Jan 2006|12:59pm]
new sn


A REALLY DEEP QUOTE. [08 Jan 2006|02:11am]
[ mood | crazy ]

clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes.

looking at you day after day i know i just gotta make it all right [03 Jan 2006|07:30pm]
[ mood | happy ]

ahh school is soon sorta, this week should go by fast. i have a project or essay for everyone of my classes except spanish due when school starts again which is giving me some guilt and anxiety, my two favorite feelings :X but besides that everything is pretty great right now. i still feel annoyed that i cant make real entries and im so behind on this thing that i feel like making a new one since my computer is sick :\ ill be getting a brand new dell with a flat screen for my early birfday preasant :] last night i cried randomly at around 12 and today i was laghing hysterically for no reason, i love being a teenager. i didnt want to make an entry with everypicture that i took from january 1st 2005 untill the last day of december or right the pros and cons of the year, or any resolutions but i did think about the year to myself which is why i think i cried last night. or whatever. i did a lot of things before my 16th that i was actually really surprised i did or went thru. i dont want to tell you them all tho :] iv become a more private person tho. it sucks, i guess one thing ill do this year is not do things im not proud of, not a resolution but just something that everyone should do. i really like the way im coming out. uhm sounds wierd lol but what i mean is, i like who im becoming, even tho its pretty shitty on acount of i do pretty shaddy things a lot of times but whatever i still like me and my life. and well its pretty exiting, or at least i think it is. i have so much to learn and so many great people to spend it with. i have friends that make me feel at home that do dumb shit to make me laugh, my mommy and jaime are always entertaining and of course, loving. and a great boyfriend whos always understanding adorable caring and well a nigger :] or its all my period and this retarded song thats making me happy right now. idk lol but ill tell you one semi secret. iv stolen well over a good thousand dollars of junk in the past year and probably a couple hundred more within the past 3 years. i dont know why it got to this but i have a entire draws in my room of jewelry makeup clothes and other useless crap that i have taken without paying with friends just because its.. fun? i really bad you dont have to tell me twice, but once you know how easy it is, it becomes quite adicting and you dont think about it exept the tought of 'i want that, do you see any workers around?' im trying my hardest to stop beacuse of the thought that for everything i took ill have to repay it in some horrifying way in hell or something :\ my dad came for a little while over break and we went to longbeach with the whole family. it was kind of wierd because the whole family hasnt been together for about two years. there are a constant annoying feeling in the air because we wernt used to being around three other people so closly. it was okay tho. im still uncomfertable around my dad sometimes because its just akward that i havnt called him once since the summer when i went to new york. james and i went thru a few memorable talks and realized where still in the begining and just learning
about eachother which became really exiting that we had such a long way to go :] and i love stefonia so much even if her dad is scary sometimes and she gets grounded every day :[ <33 i went to the park today for like half an hour where all the guys were hanging out and i havnt seen any of them since the friday when shcool got off so i was really happy :] and before that i wrote and read for the first time at sat classsss since last last thursday :X and i got a lil haircut lol. some pictahs of stefonia and i and my new hair :] peacccccceing guys

shiiiiiiiii et. it felt good to write all of that :]
sdlkjL bleh im gona write like everyday once my
new computar comes. oh and a video on my myspace :|
oh and idont care if i spell things wrong. no spell
check. oh well -__-

pictures ++Collapse )

9 comments|post comment

december 12th 2005 [13 Dec 2005|04:40pm]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
and i can't be without you baby
<333333333Collapse )

9 comments|post comment

noviembre [16 Nov 2005|09:37pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

uhm, sorry my lj's been sucking big black ass lately.
so i just combined all the pictures i haven't shown
yet onto one entry. today was the day that i spent
4 hours sitting on my ass uploading and editing pictures.
enjoy the fuck out of this lol. some captions toooo :]

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
haha my god i enjoy myself too much. :|

days are getting better and better. im really happy right now
and i have a lot less stress but i feel kind of guilty because
now i feel lazy again lol -_____- i just want to do nothing
a lot. and eat fast food and stuff. im such an old fat man.
anyways, tomorrows a minimum day and then in a couple days
is an entire week off for thanksgiving. stephanies play
is on thursday friday and saterday so fucking go see it.

remind me to call papa soon.

pictures ++Collapse )

15 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]