I miss everyone so much. lotsa run on sentences ahead. Goddd dsjhfvadsuyfgadsf I don't know where to begin sdjkfnf,. hahaha i'm sucha miserable sdjkfb. i'm sorry guys. for not keeping in touch when i said i would, for not hanging out on aim, for not emailing, for not calling or writing. i dont know how i'm going to make it seem like its okay, cause it's not and i feel bad like as in, bad ashamed. oh before i go on i apologize for my grammar because you know, i've been here for a long time now and no one here speaks perfect english i'm like done going insane im afraid ive succumbed to their mannerisms and stupid fandoms. anyway, im sorry for not being the good friend. i was the one who moved away, and since u guys obviously dont know where i am and stuff, i should be making the effort to keep in touch im sorry guys. does it count to say i love you, and i miss you? because i do. i guess the reason i havent written so much is because.. im scared. and embarrassed. and afraid. scared 'cause im worried i might not be the same person, sound the same anymore, and i dont know, maybe change has gotten the worst of me. and whenever i write, it makes me so sad and tearful because i remember the people who im not with but i wish i could be with, and all the things im missing x2394234 and it just really makes me... yeah. and because im always thinking, what if they dont want to hear blah blah blah see? because i dont like where i am right now. still. i just.. i i dont know. im just sorry guys.
please tell me how you've been. send me pictures and comment with them. i dont know if i can go through each and every entry like before. ill try, but i know ill always be missing something.
yeah so this entry is just be basically saying sorry because i dont want to start talking without saying it. god you guys are so...happy together like when i see it i just wish i was there.
like today, my korean friend was down in class. and i asked her why. and she said her korean friend was moving back to korea... i asked her if they were best friends and she said, "no, we weren't best best... but she was the one who always made jokes and made everybody laugh and now she's going away." and you know, for once i could relate. yeah i know i wasnt the life of the party of anything, we just had a moment where we understood each other. and its hard understanding people here. and i told her that everything was going to be okay, and she and her friend will still keep intouch. but im saying stuff im not even doing!. so whatthe freak, what am i doing? i was just so.adsasd and i kinda teared up after school, but i didnt let it out until now i guess. yeah, thats all. hope you guys can forgive me. and if you dont, well i still miss you.